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File Name: Theres More Then One Way To Quit Smoking (34.5 KB) Download
Author: Tank Cop (Uploaded by TankCop1)
Date Added: August 13th, 2007
Downloads: 292
Grade: D-
Description
TK comes into Yolei's family store to get something for him and Kari to have soem safe fun but when she can't be found TK looks for her and finds more then he wanted to know about his friends private life. (Digimon, Bare Bottom Spanking, OTK, M/f Scene, Anal)
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Comments
Lord Atomosk
September 5th, 2007 at 05:32 AM
a very good story; short and to the point, but goddamn. your spelling and grammar is terrible. you need to spell check your work completely before uploading it to the site.
Manoful
April 18th, 2016 at 07:35 AM
I concur Lord Atomosk about your spelling and grammar; if a little proofreading had been done, I would have enjoyed this story a bit more.

The plot itself is not half bad; still, I am not without reproof. TK definitely should have told on Yolei not so much about the smoking but because Yolei was not attentively minding the store. Yolei yielding to the need to smoke a cigarette instead of working is enough of an opportunity for a shoplifter to have successfully stolen an item which means that the prices will have to be raised and Yolei's salary cut in order to make up for the stolen item.

You should write a sequel of this where Yolei's smoking habit is discovered by her parents -- either by TK telling them or after a shoplifter has stolen several items. It would be interesting to see Yolei on the hot seat trying to convince her parents to give her another chance when she has been inattentive with the store (which I am certain has happened at least twice).


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