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Maybe its jsut me but the father comes off as a total prick. He just assumes he can spank this girl, and there's no indication that he has her parents permission. (and for some reason she never tries to protest)
Then there's that scene which describes her appearance. It mentions that she' prettier than his daughter, and that he liked what he saw, and then describes her build, giving me the VERY strong impression that's he's lecherously gazing at a girl literally young enough to be his daughter. Then he spanks his kid so brutally that her friend wets herself in terror just watching (and given she's a teen, that must have been a HORRIFIC spanking to get an onlooker to wet). Then he thinks of her as "little slut" and this is right after he guesses she's a virgin. He also forces her to take a position that spreads her genitals for him (and would be pretty hard for a first time spankee to maintain). This is just inapropriate, and pretty creepy too.
And the description fo the two spankings, adn things liek forcing her into pee stained painties, just feels mean.
And frankly, Claire doesn't come off as much of a brat, yeah she made them late and doesn't seem overly responsible, but still, she doesn't seem a brat to me. And I find it odd that Shelly, who is apparantly routinely is punished brutally for this stuff, doesn't talk to Claire about not doing it for her sake.
Combined with some of his thoughts, like how his daughter won't have sex till he picks the guy, I get the impression that this man is a nasty controlling unreasonable bastard. He comes off as mean spirited, perverted, hypocritical and loathsome. And the way he begins by talking "sweetly" makes it all the creepier. He makes me think of the serial killer villain from the fourth season of dexter.
In short, I'm on Claire's side, this guy is a controlling sicko, and I find the ending where she thinks its over and now she can feel free of guilt to be kinda unerving.
The writing isnt' great either, there's no real effort to establisht the girls beyond superficial traits, Shelly is a girl broken in spirit, and Claire is an ordinary teen girl who's parents aren't totally insane and brutally demanding. Claire is supposed to be a brat, but just meekly submits to everything, she doens't even say that much. And her backstory isn't explained, nor do we know anythign about Shelly besides her father is a jerk. The buildup is very brief and kinda rushed, and the only thing that's described in any detail is the punishment, and Claire's body.
I get the impression this was meant to be errotic, but nothing about it is paticularly sensual for me either.
so at the end of the day, I'm no great writer but I know what I like, and I don't like this.
I uploaded this because I find that alot of the fiction on here does not appeal to me, personally. I don't like fan fiction, manga characters or cheeky playful spankings when it comes to erotica. That said, I do enjoy the art on here, which is largely that!
The spanker in this short is, I agree, a total dick, and a pervert and a bit of a psycho. This is entirely intentional in the writing, as for me personally, this heightens the inappropriacy of the spanking (which is a major draw for me to the spanking fetish). To be spanked by a controlling sicko, or to be the controlling sicko is what I am interested in. Of course in reality this is totally abhorrent behavior that is rightly going to mean a jail cell, but the whole point of erotica is to escape that. For example, rape and non consensual fiction is popular with many women, this does not mean that they actually want to be raped!
The spanking is not at all sensual because that would be a major turn off for me. There is also a very brief bit of back story and intro because that, although necessary is not the reason I, personally read erotic fiction. If you treat this file like a piece of artwork then you will be disappointed, my advice would be to treat it in the same way you would some hardcore porn ie) enjoy it for what it is, don't expect it to follow a moral code, get off on it if it's your thing, switch over if it's not.
Sincerely thankyou for your comments, negative feedback is much more helpful to me than positive. I am sorry I could not create something you could enjoy, but am confident that others (perhaps with similar kinks to me) will do.
Well, I get your point, sadly for you I don't like most hardcore porn. Sexual things have no appeal to me without context and characters, and I personally prefering love and romance in my erotica. Even when I indulge my darker side, I prefer seductions, or at least that the villain geniunely cares about the victim, rather than seeing them as just a toy for personal pleasure. That may seem like a silly and rather hypocritical way of avoiding the inherent darkness of the subject matter, because it basically is, but for me, I just can't enjoy this sort of stuff otherwise. And the characters, villain and victim, need to be appealing enough that I want to fantasize about being with or being them.
So I guess this jsut isn't my style, even as wank material. Oh well, moving on.
I really loved this story. I like the descriptions of the girls body. I wish there were more stories like this written. I can enjoy the vanilla ones also, but sometimes I would rather read one where it is a bit edgy.
I have been looking for a story where the father or adult male enjoys spanking the young girl and enjoys the view. If they need a spanking, it doesn't mean you can't enjoy it.
I tend to agree with gin. Now while I personally didn't care for the story, the writing left me a little disjointed, didn't flow well to me.
I think the creepy factor is mainly because he is her "father" - boyfriend or husband would have taken away the creep factor. I do tend to enjoy discipline stories from a parent, but this one didn't work for me, whereas if this has been a boyfriend or husband I think the creepines would have left and I wouldn't have been bothered by the story. Nor thought of responding after the other comments.
As noted above too, I don't think any true parent would think their child is not beautiful. Admiring another girl's beauty, sure. I can admire beauty in either gender.
As for the controlling parent part about his consent. Well, that's an acceptable part of the story to me.
That's my 5 cent comment I guess.
