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File Name: Story Contest Entry (38.5 KB) Download
Author: baddog8182 (Uploaded by baddog8182)
Date Added: April 30th, 2013
Downloads: 117
Grade: B+
Description
For Fireball666's Spring 2013 storytelling contest. I hope you enjoy!
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Comments
Sheamachost
May 1st, 2013 at 03:08 PM
I enjoyed the story and it's creative twist. I feel though that steps in the writing could have been taken to make the twist a bit more evident though.
baddog8182
May 3rd, 2013 at 07:35 AM
Thank you. I will admit that the twist was something I came up with half way through the story. Next time I will put a bit more effort into it and not try to write it all in one sitting.
ethan1
May 16th, 2013 at 09:54 AM
Cracking short story & i didn't see the twist coming, brilliant
Nerine
May 28th, 2013 at 03:32 AM
I liked your story! The way you wrote your characters was lovely, but I wish the twist at the end was explained in the story itself. Perhaps you can add it in at a later time. I feel that would make the story so much better and add a tragic yet horror-like feel! One thing that threw me a bit was that all the character's names weren't Japanese. It's not required, but I think the overall theming would have been better if you had done so. That being said, it's a minor problem and I don't mind all that much. The setting description was also great!


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