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File Name: Fireball's Spring contest - Spring (64.5 KB) Download
Author: Cutiexx (Uploaded by Cutiexx)
Date Added: May 24th, 2013
Downloads: 509
Grade: C-
Description
/So here's my story for Fireball666's spring contest! ^^
It's my first download here, I hope you'll like it.
It's also my first real try at writing a spanking fiction...
I really had fun writing it! The drawing was so ispiring! xD
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Comments
spankula
May 25th, 2013 at 04:44 AM
Not bad man. It's clear that you put a lot of effort into it.
Cutiexx
May 26th, 2013 at 08:24 AM
Thanks spankula. ^^
Too bad I posted it too late. x)
Nerine
May 28th, 2013 at 03:15 AM
What an adorable story! Firstly, I loved how the story moved chronologically, but from four very different points of view. Each character was realized and you explained each of their experiences with spanking (all of which were different, awesome!). The theming with the kids' names all being seasons was adorable as well, and made your story seem very much like an anime or manga. The natural dialogue was great. It's refreshing to not see “ blah blah,” he said, “blah blah,” she said, “blah blah,” he said, every single line! Context is important and I was never confused with who was or wasn't talking. The one constructive criticism I have is that while I know that your style of dialogue/quoting is indeed a legitimate way to do it (with hyphens instead of using “”), it does get a little confusing to know when an individual person has stopped speaking if your commas aren't consistent. Other than that, lovely story, and definitely one of my favorites. <3
Cutiexx
May 28th, 2013 at 05:40 AM
Thank you very much for your comment Nerine! I'm happy you liked my story! I'll be more careful with the style of dialogue next time... Thank you for pointing that out. ^^
Nerine
June 5th, 2013 at 02:29 PM
Not a problem!
spiderx
June 27th, 2013 at 11:19 AM
Great story!


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