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This is a Yu-Gi-Oh GX one-shot I wrote a while back about the Truesdale Brothers while Zane was taken over by darkness. This is my first post/spanking fic, so any constructive criticism is gladly welcomed. ^^
It's not an easy thing to make a fan-fic which will appeal to people who aren't already familiar with the characters. Never having seen the show, I was a little lost about what was going on. Try being more descriptive. What do the characters look like? Why are they at this school? How are these duels being fought? All these things are probably obvious to fans of Yu-Gi-Oh GX, but you'll widen your audience appeal greatly by letting the rest of us in on what you're seeing in your mind's eye.
For a first story, its a good effort and I hope you'll write more.
Well the length is perfect. And I would have to agree with iconoclast with this. Having only seen the show once ore twice I was a little lost but the plot and the feel of the characters where perfect. I really do look foward to reading more of your work.
