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I enjoyed the story and it's creative twist. I feel though that steps in the writing could have been taken to make the twist a bit more evident though.
Thank you. I will admit that the twist was something I came up with half way through the story. Next time I will put a bit more effort into it and not try to write it all in one sitting.
I liked your story! The way you wrote your characters was lovely, but I wish the twist at the end was explained in the story itself. Perhaps you can add it in at a later time. I feel that would make the story so much better and add a tragic yet horror-like feel! One thing that threw me a bit was that all the character's names weren't Japanese. It's not required, but I think the overall theming would have been better if you had done so. That being said, it's a minor problem and I don't mind all that much. The setting description was also great!