Homepage Forum Spanking Art Gallery Oekaki Drawing Board Art Contests Roleplaying Forums Spanking Video Games Spanking Stories and Fiction Spanking Video Downloads of Animes Social Groups Register an account Rules Frequently Asked Questions

  
Go Back   AnimeOTK > Downloads > Spanking Fiction

Want to get rid of the annoying adverts? The answer is simple. There are 4 levels of advertising on AnimeOTK:

Level 1: (Your Level, guests and members with 0-9 posts) has maximum advertising.
Level 2: (A user with 10 or more posts who has been a member over two weeks) have vastly reduced advertising (including removal of the large full screen closable adverts)
Level 3: (A member who has been registered over a month and has over 50 posts, or has a special account like "artist" or "writer" sees minimal advertising.
Level 4: (VIP Donators) receive no advertising.
All donators of $10 or more will never see an advert on our site again!
Navigation
Main | Category Tree | Stats | Search
You do not have permission to download files
File Name: a lesson from my sister (77.4 KB) Download
Author: karen (Uploaded by Lakaren)
Date Added: November 3rd, 2017
Downloads: 110
Grade: C+
Description
Well, this tells a little about the story of Karina, an ordinary girl who at one point has to fight with the anger of her sister.I'm sorry for my lousy English.
You do not have permission to download files


Comments
oigres
November 15th, 2017 at 03:55 AM
spanktacular
November 18th, 2017 at 02:03 AM
Okay first off, thanks for taking the time to share this with us. As a writer myself, I understand that it takes time and effort to write something and courage to share it with others especially since English is not your first language; so thank you.

A couple things you might work on: a bit more development on your characters.
In the beginning you mention a bit of Karina's family, but there's little about who she is,
what she looks like, what her personality is like etc. It's the same with her sister the other main character.

Another thing is a bit of logic, Karina goes from being a student who likely has very poor scores due to her lack of concern with her studies, but about a year later she's skipped several years of schooling and is going to graduate high school? This seems highly unlikely even with her discovery of a love for reading. She'd need to first bring up her average, then show outstanding intelligence, and then do a fantastic amount of work or test out of quite a bit of it in order to skip that many grades and all in a very short amount of time.

The format of the story is interesting as well, since it's told in first person and also it ends with "BYE!" it might be a fun idea to make the whole story a diary entry or something similar since it sort of has that feel to it. Anyways thank you again for sharing you work, keep writing, you'll improve the more you do! Good luck!
Lakaren
November 22nd, 2017 at 03:51 AM
Spanktacular:Thanks for commenting, it's very helpful. Yes, I'm not good at English hahaha, it would be easier if I could upload it to Spanish ja.In shortly I will upload a small description of the characters and how Karina got where she is now.


DownloadsII 5.1.2 by CyberRanger & Jelle
Based on ecDownloads 4.1 © Ronin

Total page views: , page views today: 0
All times are GMT. The time now is 01:15 PM.


Powered By vBulletin®
©AnimeOTK.com 2007-2021