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I posted a few stories up here a while back ... but those didn't really turn out the way I wanted them to. Then life got busy, and I put the whole spanking story thing on the back burner.
Anyway, I've got some time now, and I had this idea kicking around in my head, so I figured I'd try again! Hopefully things turn out a bit better, with more likeable characters, and just overall a more enjoyable story. Don't expect good grammar though. I study Mathematics not English!
This was inspired by LoloASD's ninjtastic drawing he drew recently. The story has nothing to do with the characters in that drawing, it just got me thinking about ninjas and spanking.
I liked the basic plot here, and the spanking itself was decent. However, you're trying *way* too hard to be 'internet wacky' with your writing. Good humor should flow from the characters and situations. Narration *can* be a vehicle for comedy, but putting yourself in as a faceless color commentator constantly mugging for the camera stats to grate almost from the first sentence.
It's a fine idea for a light-hearted spanking story; you should have let it carry a lot more of the weight.
I agree with Dr. Weird. I nearly stopped reading the story after the first few paragraphs. I love some funny narration, but it was trying way too hard to be wacky and funny and "in your face". Once I got past that, the rest of the story is quite good.
