Are you in the spank closet for your fetish?
 

When growing up with my friends it was impossible to hide, nor did I care. We were crazy into spanking, but as I got older I dug it deep inside and I'd have to say I've hidden my fetish for spanking the whole time.
I've tried to throw mixed messages several times in various situations but when I make a conclusion a lot of people just don't get it whatsoever.

Three times I've made an attempt
I remember a couple of months ago i was talking with my mother on the phone I don't remember what we are talking about but I took advantage of a sexual conversation and mentioned the fetish where people like spanking and my mother was like "I don't get it. What does that even mean?". Then, I knew that she didn't have a grain of understanding of the concept.

I was having a bonfire last year with about 12 people and we had a lot to drink. For some reason the conversation always ends up in the gutter when we do this. Anyway, a friend was listing random sexual things that she does really get. "foot fetish.....nah. Roleplay.....pointless, spanking....oh I've heard of that....weirdos" and being drunk someone said "who's your daddy" and everyone laughed and "I said, Who's your mommy is where the action is at" and everyone went nuts. From the expressions on their face spanking in general was nothing more than a joke. For myself when I first heard the word it turned my stomach.

The last few times was when I was working at a trashy dating website. Because of the long hours in the chat I knew tons of people and became friends with a lot of them. In the late hours we got a little crazy and I was known as the spanking girl(the ONLY spanking girl). Kind of ridiculous. 16 default rooms, all single people 1/2 of them creeps looking for a free show, and I'm the the spanking girl. Plenty of times I got a little too close and did a lot of cyber. Every time I would start with the spanking cyber they would break the atmosphere with some comment like "ummm, I don't know what to say...that's different".

So I'm active in the closet.
Are you?

Re: Are you in the spank closet for your fetish?
 

I was always way into the closet on the subject in my younger school years, whenever the word came up I would be like you, my stomach would do flips and I would most likely have a look on my face that displayed some significant reaction. These days in college I have tried to drop more hints about my interest either in joke form or teasing and not had any luck. I know my dad knows thanks to forgetting to delete my browsing history once, and I suspect my mom knows do to similar reasoning, but I am not open about it in any real way.

I suspect that even if by some chance I drop the word in casual conversation and I DID get lucky enough to 'throw the bait in the right pond' that there wouldn't be any chance of it working out anyway simply do to embarrassment or the like on the other persons part. These days I think I should just stop trying period do to lack of success and the fact that I wouldn't want to be "that guy". That isn't to say that everyone should be so silent about their fetish, for some people it works to be spontaneous and open, for others it is better to approach the subject slowly and quietly like a lioness about to eat a warthog. You just have to be careful of annoying meercats :D

Re: Are you in the spank closet for your fetish?
 

It's more of a half and half. The only person besides myself that knew the entire time was my older sister. She is older than me by five years and when I was little (about 4 or 5 years old) I asked her to spank me. "Why?" "Just do it." after that I never really let anybody know, at all. Not even my friends. It was all a huge secret. I once had a friend that came over one day and we played house, and pretended spanking. I'd ask my friends about spanking. Well, up until I really had no friends to ask.

I started drawing when I was eight years old, I had most of my practice from looking on the computer at pictures and having a drawing notebook in my lap and kind of do a weird little copy thing. It helped me develop my own style because I knew how to draw certain parts and as I got older I studied more, but during this time, when I was eleven, before I was confident enough to draw without a base, I drew a spanking picture, and I hid it under my bed when I was done. I coloured it using a crayon. Then, the next day, my room was cleaned up by my dad when I was at school, and I found the picture crumpled up and thrown in the trash. I think he knows something.

When I was fourteen I told my mom directly that I liked spanking. Why? Because my computer broke and the computer technician did unlawful things. He scanned my whole hard drive and it was easier for me to tell my mom about my spanking 'fetish', before the psycho comp tech did. exactly mother's words. She didn't understand at all. I tried to tell her about Ai and AnimeOTK and she just didn't know what to say, her first question was "how?" and I tried to tell her how. I've liked spanking since before I could even think about anything. I saw it on TV, it bothered me if other people were in the room, but intrigued me if I was alone. I'd play with my barbie dolls and make them spank each other. I'd even pretend to be spanked.

It wasn't until I was fifteen that I told a friend of mine, on a bus. She suggested I wrote a speech (we were on the speech team together) about spanking. I can't even say the word out loud, let alone talk about it for five minutes. When I was sixteen I told two other friends. One broke the news to me what kind of things she was interested in and totally blew me away. The other agreed to spank me last fall, but forgot to mention she didn't know how to do it right. I'm 18 now and I don't plan to be telling anyone else and this may make me sound picky but I'd rather marry a guy that knows how to spank. =|

Being I'm too chicken to tell anyone I guess I'm just half in the closet, half out.

Re: Are you in the spank closet for your fetish?
 

My friends all know I'm very much into spanking. And my sister knows - when I made the spanking dating sim, she asked to playtest it (only knowing at the time it was an eroge), so I did warn her. She's seen a couple of my pictures, too, though not intentionally on my part. My father never knew (actually I think he might have sort-of been into it), and my mother doesn't know. Not that it'd be a problem, we just generally don't see the need in discussing sex lives and such.

Re: Are you in the spank closet for your fetish?
 

And it was like talking to a robot. Funny thing with spanking. People who are not into it don't even grasp the concept at all.

I would have thought my parents would've caught on considering how many times I've asked for it. Heck, my father would say "You almost beg for this sometimes, young lady" WHILE he spanked me! :P

Re: Are you in the spank closet for your fetish?
 

I'm definitely in the closet on the subject. I think if I was a bottom I would be less worried about it but I'm so afraid as a top that people will think that I'm some sort of evil sadist. I don't really enjoy inflicting pain for the point of making my partner miserable, I'm just a spanko. I've been one as long as I can remember. I enjoy the control aspect of the whole thing. When a woman lets a man spank her that is a complete act of trust, love and temporary submissive acceptance. Like Nene my parents learned about my fetish during some computer repairs and they made me feel terrible about it. In hind sight, they may have just felt guilty and didn't know how to react because they feared that they'd caused it somehow because they used to spank me. But I don't think that's why I'm a spanko. I think I was born hardwired this way. Like you Nene I've been into spanking since before I can remember, this happened to me way before puberty. Interestingly even before puberty I always fantasized about spanking girls. Luckily I met a wonderful woman, my high school sweetheart whom I'm married to now, who while not being into being spanked herself is very selfless and understanding and realizes that it's something I need. My point is I think it's probably a good idea in this day and age to stay somewhat in the closet about the spanking thing, but don't let that keep you from telling the person you love about your spanking needs. If they love you back they'll be willing to participate. And trust me Nene, it should be a lot easier for you to train a boy to spank you than it was for me to convince my wife to let me give her a good hard belting. It takes a lot of reassuring from me for her to still feel like we're complete equals afterwards. Oh and I've learned that immediately attending to your partners needs afterwards can make them feel very reassured. So keep that in mind throughout your journey. And good luck in finding a good spanking partner

Re: Are you in the spank closet for your fetish?
 

My situation is... complex. Those close to me know that I'm kinky as fuck, but there are very large swaths of my "real" life where I have to repress an AWFUL lot of stuff. Like, "could wreck my entire stupid career" levels of have-to. So even in kinky circles, there's things I don't say or admit to, stories I don't tell, just because I don't want to increase the number of people who can link those things to my real name and face. Part of the reason my Emily identity exists is as an outlet for all the things I can't say in my regular life. Some would say that explains an awful lot about me...

Re: Are you in the spank closet for your fetish?
 

So were you actually begging at some points or did it just seem like that because of bratty behavior?

Re: Are you in the spank closet for your fetish?
 

bratty behavior.
When I was young it was a confusing time. While I was extremely afraid of my father I still just couldn't help but to get in trouble. A part of me wanted to get caught. It probably didn't help that my dad was a bit excessive and a little abusive.

Actually a few times I was so bratty that I would act up during the spankings. I'd mouth off and say stuff like "pfff, it doesn't hurt"(-Liar!). This was not something I did with my dad though because I was terrified of him.

Re: Are you in the spank closet for your fetish?
 

Every spankee I have ever talked with has said they would never want to be spanked by there parents and actively avoided it, I suppose there would be some people who desperately needed a spanking, it's too bad you didn't have someone to take you over the knee who could actually let you enjoy it.