Androids and Agents { Angelofhumor
 

"Are you aware that Scientists have calculated that each cigarette cuts on average 11 minutes off the life of a male smoker? They calculated that smokers were likely to die 6.5 years earlier than non-smokers." A very attractive man in a black and vibrant blue uniform walked up to the smoking Agent, and he gave him a friendly smile, "My name is Dean, I'm the android sent by Cyber-life. I'm sure we'll make a great team." he introduced himself. Despite being an android, he seemed to have a cheery disposition.

Dean was an advanced model of androids created by the world wide company Cyber-life and he had been assigned to the FBI because they thought his impeccable ability to take samples, confirm DNA matches and more would be beneficial to the team, even if the leader of that team absolutely despised Androids. A lot of people did. Since androids were first brought out in the year 2033, there had been a rise in unemployment because it was 'easier and cheaper' to hire an android. This FBI agent hated Androids for a whole other reason, he thought they weren't to be trusted, so imagine the tantrum he threw when he found out he was going to be partnered with one.

"I believe you were having trouble with a case involving forgeries, perhaps we should plan our approach?" Dean insisted when all the agent did was scoff and blow cigarette smoke in his direction.

Zac was a rough and tough looking kind of man. He wore a black and vibrant red suit, a red that seemed to go with his hot headed nature. He was prone to fits of anger when his temper was lost, and he had little to no patience. He was also known for his hatred of Androids. He didn't trust them, not only were they slowly taking over people's jobs, but he was one of those he thought they'd plan world domination and either kill humans or put them in some human Zoo or something.

So, it was of course no surprise when he wasmy too kind to the man who called himself Dean. He blew the smoke from his cigarette at him and huffed,"Well-

He looks at the paper, reading the paper on the robot he desperately wanted to rip up,"Model X500 I'm Zac..And I really don't give a damn what the scientists say." He said, in a voice that sounded like a dog snarling at a new comer. He resisted the urge to crumple the paper on his new..Ugh..partner, up and toss it in the trash and instead stood up,straightening his tie as he fixed Dean with a irritated look.

"Hey I've been working here way longer than you buddy. What plan do you have that I haven't already used?"

Dean analysed his new partner, focusing intently on the man's face as bits of information clouded his cyber vision. It was invisible to the human eye, but Dean of course had the mind of a computer.

Name: Zac Roberts

Age: 43 years

Occupation: FBI agent, Manhattan division captain. Served twenty years in his field. A few disciplinary records on his file for unwanted behaviour.

Cons: Has a slight smoking and drinking problem. Despises Androids. Possible decaying liver. Grumpy demeanour.

Pros: Good at his profession. Man of the law. adaptable.

Details: Coffee stained teeth, likely a fan of black. Dog hairs on jacket, Labrador. Quick to anger. Possible insecurities.

Analysis complete.

Dean deciphered through the information in his vision and then cocked his head to one side when the man stood and demanded to know what he planed to do that he hadn't tried already. "I don't doubt that you have, Agent Roberts." he answered politely. "Why don't you tell me your previous approach to the situation, and we can go from there?" he suggested.

When the man just snorted and told him to follow him to the division, Dean nodded and obeyed, following his new owner. "I noticed you had a dog. A Labrador. Do they have a name? Are they a boy or a girl?"

Zac arched a brow. Though he could not see that Dean was reading information on him, the fact this android was staring so intently at him made him uneasy. Still, he couldn't exactly refuse this..things helo. So, he just decided to cooperate. Very reluctantly so.

"Just follow me to the division." He replied when Dean asked him what methods he'd used so far. He didn't have to tell this android anything. He didn't trust him, and besides if this hunk of metal was so smart he could figure that stuff out on his own. When Dean asked about the dog hair, noting it was a labrador he sighed in annoyance. Dean was just trying to be friendly, but Zac saw it was showing off.

"Yes, if course she has a name. Her name is Sadie." He replied. As he looked down and lightly brushed off the yellow dog hair's off his suit.

Dean had amazing negotiating skills along with analytics which made his model the most expensive to buy, he wasn't easily replaced either, so making sure the android didn't get destroyed would be paramount. "Sadie, that's a very nice name." Dean answered when Zac told him what his pooch was called, and also implied that she was female. "Don't worry, the dog hairs on your suit jacket aren't easily identifiable, my program allows me enhanced vision, I wouldn't be self conscious if I were you." he assured as he saw the man brushing the hairs off of his coat, clearly worried that other people would be able to see them. "Also, the smell of dog hairs on you is minimal, and only really recognisable at close range." he added and followed the FBI agent to his division, a high rise building in the middle of Manhattan.

When Zac groaned that his voice was annoyed, the Android nodded, "I have multiple settings in my program which can help with that. My voice can change prior to my owner's needs, and I can speak in all known languages and translate them in a mere 0.3 seconds." he explained. "Which voice setting would you prefer?" he was only trying to be pleasant so he didn't understand that Agent Roberts hadn't meant it literally.

"Bout time you got your ass into work." One of the division's Captains snorted when Zac sauntered into the building. He was Zac's boss, basically. "The fuck have you been?" he then noticed Dean and rose a brow, "Don't start the whole 'working with androids is bullshit' thing Zac, we need him, and you NEED to cooperate with him.

"Good day Agent Hart." Dean greeted politely.

Zac sighed when Dean said Sadie was a nice name, and aassured hum the dog hair's were not at all noticeable. As much as he wanted to snap something in reply he couldn't. Though, he did massage his temples as he felt a headache coming on,"Ugh..Your voice is annoying." He grumbled.

Only to slap a hand over his face and growl as the android took it literally,"Is there a setting where you don't talk at all?" He asked, and stopped when they were greeter by his boss. Thomas Hart. The guy was pretty decentx but he could be a hard ass, and often got under Zacs skin..Like now.

"I was taking a smoke break Hart. Agents are alloweed two smoke breaks a day. You know this." He pointed out,"Though I may need more once I start working with this android.." He muttered to himself, and when his boss said he needed to cooperate with Dean he sighed.

"Can't you get me a human partner Agent Hart? It isn't like I'm incapable of doing this myself either." He pleaded.

Dean stood and cocked his head to one side as the two agents spoke about Zac's partnership with him. It became clear that grouped with his analysis, Zac really didn't like androids. He decided to stay silent for the time being as the two talked since interrupting them would just be rude.

Tom sighed and shook his head, "Look Zac, You're the best damn agent we have here, and we've put a lot of fucking money into this android, so you better make it work. I wanna start seeing results from your cases, not bullshit excuses on why you can't wrangle a damn forgery artist." he snapped, "Now get your ass out of my sight."

"He seems pleasant." Dean smiled as the two walked on to Zac's office, "Perhaps a little stern but I suppose a good boss should be." he watched as Zac groaned and sat at his desk, and he took this time to enhance their experience together, "Considering I'm your android, it would be pertinent information to know what settings you can add to my program." he explained, "There is a module you can add that allows me to feel a form of pain. Though if you damage me, it will cost you greatly in repairs." he paused to let that sink in, "You also have the option to engage in sexual satisfaction with your android if that happens to be in your interest."

Zac winced when his boss swore at him. Saying he better see results and not hear anymore bullshit excuses. As much as he wanted to tell his boss some choice words he just sighed,"Yes Hart." He replied, albeit reluctantly, as he headed out with the android once more. Giving Dean a certain look when he said Tom seemed pleasant.

"As pleasant as a pit of poisous snakes." He grumbled, and he moaned in frustration as he sat at his desk. Going over the evidence so far and desperately trying to find answers. Feeling incredibly stressed he went to his coffee maker, getting himself a cup.

"Pain huh? Well, I won't damage you..But only because my ass would be in trouble if something happened to you on my watch or because of my doing." He explained to the android, taking a sip of his plain black coffee, only to nearly choke on it, when the android basically said he could have a relationship with him if he so desired. That making hin embarrassed and angry.

"No way in hell would I ever-I don't swing that way damn it!" He stammered, his face a bright red at hearing such a statement.

"A pit of poisonous snakes can be pleasant?" Dean questioned curiously and shook his head, he didn't think that statement was correct and he didn't understand sarcasm because it wasn't in his programming, but the more time he spent with Zac, he would probably learn some sass and sarcasm since he was a learning computer. He thought it would be necessary to inform Zac of the features he was allowed access to, because he owned him and he cocked his head when the man got flustered and angry.

"Very well, then I know of plenty of female androids that can be purchased from a strip club down town." Dean answered, "I can give you the location and directions on command if you need it?" Dean then took a seat opposite Zac and looked over the case files that he had wrote, and it didn't take him long to scan over every word.

"There are lots of mistakes in this." he calculated.

Zac sighed for what seemed like the thousandth time that day when Dean took his sarcarsm literally once again. So, not wanting to conStanly put up with this he quickly explained it,"It's a figure of speech..Eh, sarcasm droid. It's basically when you say something but don't mean it. It's a way to use irony to mock." He explained the best way he could,"For example if you ask someone whose lifting something heavy if they need help, and they say No, I want you to cut my arms and legs off with a chainsaw..That is sarcasm. They don't really want you to do that, and are in fact, meaning they do need your help." Zac finished explaining, hoping his explanation, although bizarre, had somewhat gave him a understanding of it. Other wise he'd pull his hair out from how literal minded this computer was.

He didn't think it was possible to be more embarrassed, bit Dean proved that wrong when he mentioned female androids he could get for them,"I don't want to have se-I am not looking for a relationship with anyone at the moment." He snapped.

"Especially not a computer. " He scoffed, and went over the case files, it was quiet for a few minutes, until Dean broke the silence, and Zac gritted his teeth when he was told it was littered with mistakes.

"No, it isn't. I went over it a dozen times. I would of noticed."