A mother asked her daughter to pick up her toys off the floor because it's "clean up time." The little girl says, "I have "play time", "TV time", "nap time", "quiet time", and now it's "clean up time." When do I get "allowance time?" Her mother says, "I'm not going to pay you to pick up your toys and if you don't pick them up you're going to get "hand and hiney time!"
A little boy is sitting in Sunday school and the teacher is explaining to the children that their body is a temple. The little boy raises his hand and says, "I don't think my body is a temple, it's more like a house." "Why do you say that?", asked his teacher. The little boy says, "because my grandmother is always threatening to paint my back porch red!"
A woman goes to see a psychiatrist and the more she talked, the more the psychiatrist insisted that she just needs a good spanking. The woman feeling embarrassed says, "Dr. Isn't all this spanking talk highly unorthodox?" The psychiatrist replies, "Well, some follow Jung, some follow Freud, I am a DeSade man myself. Now...how about that spanking?"
A mother threatens her teenage daughter with a spanking. The teen snaps back, "it'll be a cold day in hell before you ever spank me again!" The mother says, "after I beat your ass I want you to build me a snowman."
A girl has a friend who likes to play spanking games. One day she was in the bathroom stuffing magazines down her pants when her brother saw her. He said, "what are you doing, you're not in trouble?" The girl says, "yeah, I know, I'm just going down the street to play with Sarah."
A woman gets a call from the school nurse saying that her three children are slightly underweight; and offering assistance with food. The woman responds, "food isn't the problem. I can't cook." "Do you need to take cooking classes?", replies the nurse. "No!", says the mother. "I can't cook because my children keep hiding all the cooking utensils!"
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