Ko Sento? (for my_secret_life)

[rahl]

Neji managed to hold back any sound when the first stinging swat landed, he only winced and tensed his body. The second stroke came soon after that, and soon they were landing one after the other, barely giving him time to recover or think before the he got hit again.

Neji's face was still flushed red from shame at his uncle's lecture and now for embarrassment at what was happening. Still, for some reason this punishment did not seem as harsh as the one his father had given him, but, in retrospect, that might be becuase he was older now.

He wondered if the brothers had been subject to similar beatings as they grew up. As far as he knew, it was sort of a taboo to punish the child fated to be the next head of the family, but Hiashi didn't seem to have any trouble chastising his daughters when he saw it fit.
He had never had the opportunity to ask his father about his own discipline. He guessed that Hien, his grandfather, punished his second son like he would any other member of the Cadet Branch, given how coldly they treated each other once Hizashi was an adult.

He clenched his fists and his butt, determined not to make a sound throughout the whole ordeal. Surely Hiashi had a number of strokes in mind and would stop once he reached that number, no? The way he was hitting him certainly made it seem so.

But as the spanking went on, Neji began to have his doubts. Hiashi's strokes were severe and regulated, but they showed no sign of relenting or slowing down. Grinding his teeth, he shifted his legs ever so slightly to get some relief of of the burning sensation that took longer to fade with each swat.

At last he couldn't help a gasp that escaped him when a particularly hard stroke landed on his sensitive sit spots. The young Hyuuga began to wonder if Hiashi was waiting for hom to beg for mercy to stop. It didn't seem likely, after all, this was about him learning something, but beyond the obvious fighting in the street is dangerous and stupid, Neji couldn't fanthom what lesson his uncle was teaching him.

[My_Secret_Life]

Hiashi continued his measured strikes, all the while passing glances towards his nephew to insure he wasn't hurting the boy too much. This punishment was meant for pain, but not for the kind lasting for unbelieveable amounts of time; for this particular moment, Hiashi wanted to make sure Neji felt this for at least the rest of the day. It was from this that Hiashi never bothered to keep count of how many swats he dealt. Twenty to one person could be nothing to another and therefore, by theory, nothing had been taught. Each child was their own person with their own limits, some farther than others.

Keeping count would also lead the child into a false security, as in only getting a set amount for a certain crime. What was the point if they knew they would only get twenty licks for fighting? The child would eventually get used to the number and never really learn that repeated faults had harsher penalities then first offenses. To Hiashi, this was all common sense; though most parents were completely stupid when it came to actually being a parent. He wasn't going to mention any names, though more than a few shinobi came to mind.

As for what Hiashi wanted out of all this, again, to him it was common sense: He just wanted Neji to know immature behavior wouldn't be accepted. He wasn't spanking him just to see him cry or beg for mercy, nor to just cause him pain. He wanted to see that Neji learned the fault of his actions, why his offense was wrong, and that his wrong-doings would have consequences from now on. All this Hiashi could tell by Neji's body language and expressions. He could feel how tense Neji was and knew he was still fighting to rein control of, not the situation, but himself. He needed to make the younger Hyuuga realize that when one committed a crime, no matter their shinobi rank, thier lives and careers were put into someone else's hands.

Hearing Neji let out a gasp just now made Hiashi realize he could be a bit harder on him, not to be cruel, but he could assume that neither of them wanted to be here forever. Keeping his timing, Hiashi leaned forward in his chair to focus more on the task, and, without warning, began to spank Neji with more force. The timing between each was still the same, causing Neji's backside to turn a darker shade more quickly than before.

[rahl]

All of a sudden, Hiashi's strokes began to be stronger, more punishing. At first Neji bit his lower lip to keep from crying out, but then stopped for fear of biting down too hard on it. Resisting the urge to kick his legs out and trying to get away from the strict hand was becoming really hard.

Neji tried to focus on the paneled wood floor he was looking at, on the sound his bare backside was making upon contact with Hiashi's hand, on the faint smell of incense coming from the adjacent room, on anything but the stinging pain that was becoming increasingly unbearable.

He didn't know how long the long-haired man would drag this out, but he was already wishing it was over.
Scratch that, he had been wishing this was over since the beginning. He knew it hadn't been long since they had started, but by then it felt like he had been slung over his uncle's lap for an hour. Gripping the plain cotton robes Hiashi was wearing, Neji tried to once more gather the resolve not to make a sound.

He had decided this would be very different from the time his father had punished him. Back then he was begging his father to stop even before the man had finished pulling him over his lap and was crying at the very first smack.

Well this was different. He was no longer a five-year old caught red-handed. He was a proud shinobi of Konoha, and while his reason for starting to fight were not very mature, he had still fought to defend his honor and he was not going to apologize for that.
And the man over him was not his esteemed father, it was his uncle, Head of the Main branch, for ten years the embodiment of pure evil.

But even as the younger Hyuuga thought these things, his gut told him he was making the wrong decision. He forced himself to admit that Hiashi was not an enemy. no matter how much this hurt. Just then, his uncle chose to land a hit on the top of his thighs. That hurt.

"Nnghn!" Neji clamped a hand over his mouth and then mentally berated himself. Now he had broken the promise of silence to himself twice.

[My_Secret_Life]

Hiashi's pale eyes drifted towards Neji's face at his noise, studying him for a few moments. Ahh, so that's why he had been so quiet; the younger Hyuuga was much more worried about his pride than dealing with this punishment. In that case, this was just going to last a little longer than planned, wouldn't it? Hiashi didn't know how much longer he could keep this up, not that he was getting tired or anything, but you could only punish a child so far before you left mark, or worse bruises and welts. That was not, and would never be, Hiashi's intention when it came to discipline.

Lord Hyuuga, however, couldn't help but wonder if starting the lecture now would possibly help Neji see through his pride; but did he really want to lecture Neji while he was in the middle of the punishment? Talking afterwards seemed like the better option since doing during the spanking would only make Neji just give the answers he knew Hiashi wanted to hear, thus making all this pointless and Hiashi wasn't a person to do something pointlessly. He'd save the lecture for later.

But he couldn't leave Neji to have this inner struggle with himself, it would distract him from his punishment. He looked back at his nephew, having a bit of an internal debate as well. He eventually came to his desicion, though he was nervous about it. Without stopping the punishment, Hiashi began to rub in slow, small circles on Neji's back with the hand he had been using to keep his nephew still.

"I-It's okay to cry Neji," Hiashi said, speaking gently all the while mentally cursing himself for that stutter. What was he? Twelve again? "It won't make you any less of a shinobi or a person." He felt like he should say more but couldn't think of what else to say. He could tell Neji was stressing himself out over being quiet by the intense urge to focus in his eyes, the grip of his nephew's hand on his robes, and the small here and there noises he had been making.

"I won't think any less of you..." Hiashi suddenly added, though he hadn't spoken quickly. He hadn't really expected himself to say that, it really just more or less slipped out. Did it really matter if it was true though? He decided not to think anymore on the subject, unless of course Neji continued to be stubborn. He didn't increase the force of his strikes nor did he speed it up, since it all seemed to be working just fine.

[rahl]

The punishment paused, whether for good or just momentarily Neji didn't know. He let out a sigh of relief as his backside was spared further discipline. His uncle was drawing slow circles on his back, easing his tension a bit.

The pale-eyed youth did not trust himself to believe that the punishment was over. Even though his butt smarted painfully, Hiashi not said a word since he had started this ordeal. All along he had expected the man to lecture him, to give him a scolding as he meted out the the licking. The fact that the older man had been silent until now gave Neji the dread that his punishment was going to drag out longer.

"I-It's okay to cry Neji, it won't make you any less of a shinobi or a person." It surprised Neji that his uncle, Lord Hyuuga, would stutter. Maybe the man was not as strict and severe as he initially thought. But somehow it surprised him more that he would know what he was trying exactly not to do. Was he that obvious? Relaxing his grip on Hiashi's robes a little, Neji considered what his uncle was telling him.

It wouldn't be, after all, the first time Hiashi saw him cry. In fact, it seemed that most of the times he had broken down in tears Lord Hyuuga had been there. There was the time when his father had been "disciplined", then his funeral and finally after his defeat in the Chuunin exams. But his pride told him that he would be giving up too easily.

"I won't think any less of you..." Hiashi didn't waste any time continuing the spanking after saying this. Clenching his teeth again, Neji could feel his eyes burning, this time tears more closer to coming out than ever. No matter how many times he told himself he disliked the man, Neji couldn't lie to himself on the fact that he was constantly seeking his approval.

Somewhere in his subconscious he had made Hiashi a substitute for his father, whether because they looked so alike or because he didn't have many strong male role models, Neji didn't know. Even before he had know the truth about his father's demise, in the second part of the Chuunin exams, the young Genin had known that Lord Hyuuga was watching and had made use of Rotation Technique in full view of the audience. Maybe he had been striving to impress his father's brother even back then.

He wiped his eyes and stifled a hiccup, still trying to battle the urge to sob and plead forgiveness. He didn't know much more he would last, but he knew it wouldn't be much longer.

[My_Secret_Life]

Hiashi passed another small glance at Neji as the punishment continued; he wondered if he had gotten through to the boy yet, he was planning on stopping soon. Though, like he said before, his goal was not to make Neji burst into tears or plead for forgiveness; he just wanted him to know immature behavior wasn't going to be accepted. The only reason he had told Neji it was okay to cry was because he didn't want Neji focusing on anything else but the punishment.

He gave Neji a quick look when he heard him stiffle a hiccup; maybe this was starting to get to him. He began to deliver the spanks a little faster, as if trying to hurry up. He still held firm to holding off the lecture; he'd speak to Neji when he had the boy's full attention. Just a little more and he'd be done with all this. He really hoped this would have the positive effect he had been going for; it was too late to turn back now.

Now that he thought about it, it might be pretty difficult for Neji to hate him more right? How much could one person really hate another? He had thought telling Neji the truth about his father's death would have made him a bit more open to him, but it seemed like he closed himself up even more. He held back a sigh; perhaps a man like him wasn't meant to raise boys.

He thought about when his brother had been alive, how nervous Hiazshi had been about become a father. Hiashi's own wife had been pregnant with Hinata when Neji had been born; his mother haveing died in child birth. Hiashi had never seen his younger brother so nervous; a single father with no previous experience. Hiashi immdieately stepped foreward and helped his brother raise his own and recieved the same help after Hinata had been born. They had planned on raising their children like siblings were to avoid the stress of the main/lower branch other house holds had. But father had stepped in, or rather the Cloud Village and tore the pages of their plans to shreds.

He looked down at Neji, thinking about it. Just because his brother, Neji's father, was gone didn't make a good excuse for him not raising Neji like they both had intended. He still could have been a better Uncle, been more of a comfort to him for his greif. Hell, they could have helped each other; Hiashi was also effected by the lost of his younger brother. He narrowed his eyes; all that was going to change now. He was going to be a better uncle, a better guardian to Neji! And he had started when he decided to punish Neji like he punished his own. He was taking that step now.

"Forgive me for not doing this sooner, Hiazshi..." he thought, narrowing his eyes slightly in determination.

[rahl]

Neji's eyes widened when he realized that his uncle had just amped up the punishment. He bit into his hand trying to keep from crying out, but it was a losing battle.

He felt his nose twitch as if he was going to sneeze, and his stomach contract in a hiccup. Angrily wiping away tears, Neji wished he would had held on longer, that he would have been stronger and not cried.

But what good would it had been to have held out longer? He doubted it would have earned him any respect from Hiashi, especially after what he said. In fact more likely the spanking would have gone on longer, and he wouldn't be able to sit for the next week. In fact, he wasn't sure if he would be able to sit until next.

His butt hurt so much, he was surprised it wasn't on fire. Quietly sobbing into his hand, Neji wished Hiashi would stop. He wondered if he could send the older man a telepathic message, it seemed plausible, since Lord Hyuuga seemed to have been reading his mind since he came in with Asuma.

He wished he could retrace his steps and ignored that idiot Kiba that morning. Or at least just walk away after giving him a good chop in the head.
Neji may have been mature for his age, but this wasn't the first time he fiercely regretted doing something on impulse. He wondered if Hiashi could tell he was really sorry for what he did, and that he wasn't likely to do it again.

Twisting about ever so slightly, the pale-eyed youth turned to see his uncle's face. The man's eyes were narrowed in determination, his hand raised to deliver yet another punishing stroke.

Recieving it, Neji winced and decided that Hiashi couldn't tell he repented unless he actually told him. The look of determination in Lord Hyuuga's face scared the boy into talking.

"Gomen-nasai," he sniffed, "I won't fight again, Oji-sama." Fearing his voice would crack, he didn't say more. Wiping away more tears, Neji wondered at the fact of how he'd been brought down since morning, when he'd been arrogant to the Inuzuka boy because he wasn't lacking in pride or dignity. That certainly wasn't the case now.

[My_Secret_Life]

Hiashi felt Neji move and he looked towards Neji just in time to catch the youth's eyes; the look in them tore his heart like every parent would know. He said nothing as he listened to Neji's apology, a bit shocked to be honest. Neji was a very prideful boy, he hadn't really expected him to do so, but Hiashi could only guess that he had broken Neji's limits. Like he stated to himself before, that hadn't been his intentions, but it had happened. Hiashi was glad for one thing, he could end the punishment now.

He gave just a few more, maybe five or so, before stopping. He didn't let Neji up right after, instead he rubbed his back like he had before for a moment, whiserping small words of comfort. Afterwards, he pulled Neji's clothes back on for him and then helped him to his feet. He didn't let Neji stay on them; he once again picked up his nephew and sat him in his lap before putting a strong arm around him and drawing him close to his chest.

"It's all over Neji," he said gently, petting Neji's head gently with his other hand. "You're forgiven." He fell silent, holding Neji close to his chest and leaning back in his chair to relax. He sighed softly, his chest only rising and falling slightly. He looked down at Neji, watching him. He petted him again, doing it every so often as if to let the boy know he was still there.

"I didn't enjoy that anymore than you did Neji," he said, starting to lecture lightly. He didn't want to seem overly cruel, as this was the time of comfort. "And I hope to never do it again...but you're still a boy and you will make mistakes." He took another deep breath, calming himself for the next few words. "I know I haven't been the best Uncle, I've probably been the worse, but I'm going to change that...If I had died rather than your father, I would hope that he raised my kids as his own...I can assume he would have wanted the same for you." He closed his eyes; talking or thinking about his brother always made hime feel like there as a hole in his chest.

"And I hope he can forgive me for delyaing so long..." He rubbed Neji's back, opening his eyes. "And I hope you can forgive me as well."

[rahl]

He was focusing so much on his pain that it took Neji a full minute to realize that Hiashi wasn't hitting him anymore. He tried to calm his shaking breaths as his uncle drew soothing circles on his back again.

But this time Lord Hyuuga didn't start punishing him again. Instead, the older man pulled his shorts over what he imagined must be his very red bottom and helped him to his feet.

Neji wiped away more tears as an excuse not to look at Hiashi in the face. He'd been already humiliatd this much, the last thing he needed was to see a look of anger or dissapointment in his uncle's face.

All he wanted to do right now was go home, get under the covers of his futon and dissapear for a while, to nurse both his pride and his behind.
He remembered the aftermath of his father's spanking. Hizashi had decreed him solitary confinement in his room for some time. But as it turned out, "some time" was fifteen minutes, and after that time Hizashi came in again and gave him a reassuring hug, asking him not to disobey again.

Well, there's one thing for sure he's not going to....
Proving him wrong before he even finished his thought, Hiashi pulled him over his lap and wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

Neji couldn't remember ever feeling this awkward, not even when Gai managed to hug him. He was too numb to be surprised that the older man was petting his hair, not noticing that it was calming him down even more.

Hiashi lectured him without severity, yet his words still had impact. "I know I haven't been the best Uncle, I've probably been the worst, but I'm going to change that...If I had died rather than your father, I would hope that he raised my kids as his own...I can assume he would have wanted the same for you."

Neji had spent half his life trying to guess what his father would have liked or done, and this was a conclusion he'd never considered before. However, now that his uncle had spoken it out loud it sort of made sense.

"And I hope he can forgive me for delaying so long..." He rubbed Neji's back. "And I hope you can forgive me as well."

What could he say? That he was sorry for holding a grudge for all that time? But he hadn't known the truth about his father's death! But then again he hadn't been mature enough to handle it before.

Neji pressed his head against Hiashi's chest, taking comfort in the older man's strength, even though the same person had been licking him not that long ago. The whole situtation was confusing.

"All right....I guess....I mean, I could try to be less formal around you, sir--I mean...Oji-san?"

[My_Secret_Life]

Hiashi didn't expect his nephew to say anything other than something along the lines of 'Hai Oji-sama' or something similar. He kept quiet though, just in case Neji did speak. He felt his nephew move a little closer and he, in turn, tightened his grip a bit. He thought about saying a few more words of comfort, but Neji spoke up afterwards.

"All right....I guess....I mean, I could try to be less formal around you, sir--I mean...Oji-san?"

"You will still be required to treat me with respect, Neji." Hiashi warned. "Just like your cousins." He petted Neji once again before saying. "I don't want you worrying about other main branch members; your only concern is myself." He said nothing for a while, just holding Neji close. At one point, he looked down at Neji, with his usual emotionless expression, but with a gentle and warm look in his eyes. With the hand he had used to pet Neji, he gently cupped Neji's face and wiped away his few on-coming tears with his thumb.

"No more tears, nephew..." He said gently. "You are forgiven and the punishment is over." He offered a small smile, trying to get Neji to smile at the least. Once he saw that Neji was okay, he'd let his nephew go and let him do as he wanted. There was a small hope in Hiashi that Neji would ask to stay with him and just sort of 'hang out' for a bit. After Hinata's first spanking, she spent the whole day with him, doing mostly nothing but staying by his side.

Still, if Neji just wanted some alone time, he'd understand that too. It wouldn't surprise him if the boy was completely confused about everything that just transpired, but he hoped Neji wouldn't look at this as cruel or hateful. Hiashi was going to be more like a parent to Neji; he was determined to show that. He wasn't trying to replace his father, just trying to be a better guardian at the least.