Spanking technique and ways to improve it

[JD500]

I haven't got much experience in tanning a naughty bottom but I do have a general idea of how to pace myself and when to use a certain amount of strength. Does anyone have any tips or experiences where they were able to tell just how to spank someone based on their reactions and the like?

[Glorindor]

(NOTE: This is purely off of research and what I have heard online. I have sadly never had the pleasure of spanking nor getting spanked by anyone, except my parents possibly when I was a lil' thing.)

For a spanking meant to be enjoyed by the bottom, I reckon a warmup spanking is the best way to go. Meaning over the pants, possibly no implement until you go in for bare bottom.
For a spanking meant to be a punishment by the bottom, you need to break down their emotional walls for the spanking to really mean "Oh god. I'm really in trouble here." to them. So you talk about how you don't want to do it, still love them...or not. You could also tell them how they have had this coming for weeks and tease them about how red their rear is getting (My preference :P )
As for the actual act of spanking them, I think an even pace on one single spot on each side of the bottoms' backside is the best way to go. I reccomend right in that patch of soft tissue thats where the bulge of the cheeks begin on the theigh, or their "Sit-spot" as I often read in stories. That will make them remember the punishment whenever they go to sit down for a day or so.
Also, after the spanking you have a few choices for a follow-up. One, you just cuddle and comfort them (Once again, my preference.) Two, corner time. This works especially well as extra punishment if you put a stool in the corner. It won't feel good to sit on a hard wooden stool with your sit-spots on fire. The third option is somthing creative like early bedtime or maybe somthing...smexual.
Hope this helps. Have fun tanning backsides. =D

[RobM]

Originally Posted by JD500

Does anyone have any tips or experiences where they were able to tell just how to spank someone based on their reactions and the like?

Yeah, everyone is different, so ask your spankee what they want, because very often they arn't going to be okay with simply doing whatever you want.

Originally Posted by GlavTech

This is purely off of research and what I have heard online. I have sadly never had the pleasure of spanking nor getting spanked by anyone

Well, thanks for all that research you've done - but as I said above, its really not always up to the Dom what he does and every person is different, I don't think in my experiance there's any such thing as a set method, a set strength to use and certainly the options you have with different spankees often go one way or another without much variance depending on the spankee.

Most of what you've listed is a really, really idealised perfect-world bit of text-book spanking-movie script and makes very little allowance for actual human reality. Most girls have different shaped and sized bottoms, many men don't have sit-spots. Most spankee's don't actually like the idea of being punished - and very few except the highly-emo or ultra-dependant actually want you to break down their emotional walls. That sort of thing is fucking dangerous and is not the same as trying to get a few tears - and hell, I've never in eight years met a spankee who likes being reduced to tears!

If they're the sort that want to call you 'daddy' during a spanking, then option C of taking him/her to the bedroom and screwing their brains out is obviously a compelte turn-off and they might be very quick to slap your face, much the same for the idea of a corner-time, which in my experiance exists only in porn movies and fanfics - practically no real spankees like corner-time. It breaks the flow of the fantasy and in my experiance, bleeds off the mood very quickly.

Giving advice to other Doms about how to treat hypothetical people you've never met is always a fishing expedition. Just ask, most spankees will have a fairly good idea what tickles their fancy and will be quick to tell you - and will be very, very quick to use a safety word, make their excuses and leave if you don't ask, or if you make the wrong choice.

[Pastel]

I doubt anyone could spank someone effectively, (as in, both parties leaving pleased) simply by 'reading their reactions' without any other info. You'd have to be a mind reader to know exactly how it's effecting the spankee without communicating beforehand.

You'll likely get the info from them directly if talk it out. What signs to look out for, and what their reactions mean, What they want out of the experience as a whole. Seriously. Talk. Talk about everything. Every person is different, and the last thing you want is to fumble through blindly, based on a strangers advice, and not your partner's.

TL;DR - What Robm said.

[Obsidian]

Always, Always, Always, ALWAYS have a safe word. If a spanking gets out of hand because you didn't prepare, someone will get hurt.
Otherwise I would experiment with your hand itself. A cupped hand tends to have a lighter sting to it with a louder sound so I'd use that for the more playful side of spanking. As a general rule of thumb, a flatter hand means more sting.
But, most importantly, above all else, BE SAFE.

[forks]

Originally Posted by Almond

I doubt anyone could spank someone effectively, (as in, both parties leaving pleased) simply by 'reading their reactions' without any other info. You'd have to be a mind reader to know exactly how it's effecting the spankee without communicating beforehand.

Pretty much this. I haven't done much spanking, but from what little I have done - it's a LOT harder than it looks in the movies to gauge how the spankee is feeling. Firstly, you are trying to do YOUR part right, which takes concentration. Then, the view from up top is NOT ideal for gauging reactions... you are basically looking at an upturned ass and someone's back. This was the biggest surprise for me, as someone who had watched spanking films but never spanked anyone, haha. Finally - and this is the big one - everyone reacts differently, and everyone wants different things out of the experience. I'd reckon it is a lot like sex - the first time with a new partner is NOT going to live up to whatever fantasy either of you have in your heads. You need to communicate beforehand, during and after and sort of... test the waters, I guess.

[JD500]

Thanks for all the advice. Safe words are something I always take seriously.

[ellipsis39]

My relationship is longstanding, ongoing and erotic. That is my bias. It has evolved over time. I was spanked by others before my permanent guy and I got together, so I did have some experience, and not much of it was either very good or very satisfying. So I reiterate here that my bias is erotic, not punishment or D/D.

I think a 'sympatico' is very necessary. In short this means being tuned into each other, and that only develops over time with trial and error. At first it's romantic and largely non-verbal, or it was for me, and you just let it happen and hope for the best. But as a relationship develops, you must not be afraid to TALK to each other.

We used a safeword early on until we got 'fine-tuned' to the point that we didn't need it any more. I think I only used it once. I didn't have one with my earlier boyfriends and should have had one, but I didn't know such things existed then. If I were to have subsequent relationships (highly unlikely!), I would definitely want a safe word until we reached a comfort zone (or not, which would end the relationship).

He would always start with a 'warmup.' This was light and stingy and teasy and could go on for a long time. My sensitivity varied with my time of month, so the length of the warmup varied as well, from 60-80 spanks to several hundred. He was usually able to tell my degree of arousal by my sounds, and knew when to let the intensity increase to the erotic level--not, in our case, to the punishment level. But again, you must talk if necessary!

Do not ever expect it to be fulfilling the first time. A single episode does not a history make. Relationships take a lot of time and experimentation and patience, and while you can generalize, no two of us girls are exactly alike. If you're just into one-night stands, then none of this will help you.

[Dave_Mire]

i've got a question here.
How many swats do you generally give to be considered,"well disciplined"?

[JD500]

Not sure if your question is directed at me Mr. Mire, to answer though, I generally consider a discipline spanking to be finished when the spankee is sore enough, not meaning bruised or even totally red, for the message to get through. Whatever infraction is the spanking is attributed to would effect the spanking itself. I would also be taking into consideration as was suggested that not all spankee's are the same. No two people are going to take the same type of spanking the same way so they would both get different punishment spankings.

As far as signs go that the spankee is well disciplined as you put it I would go by how they are acting both before and during the spanking.

I hope I answered your question as best as my inarticulate self can ^^.

Just want to add that I'm a big fan of your work.