How to convince someone to spank you..

[otkwisher]

So, I have a problem. My boyfriend kind of knows I'm into spanking, but he's never really fully acted on it. He'll give me a slap or two, but never put me over his lap and really get into it. Sometimes if I upset him he'll flip me over and give me a smack or two, which is better, but I feel like I need more. I just had tonsil surgery on Friday, so he's been taking care of me at his mom's house. We've been fighting a lot and he actually broke up with me the other week because of it, but we fixed it. I finally told him that I wanted him to 'punish me' and he said he will today, but I still don't think he gets it. He doesn't know what he's doing, or how, and when I told him it could be a regular thing, he said it was weird and abusive. While I don't want him to turn to that all the time, I think it might help our relationship, especially if I feel really bad about something and can't get over it. I'm also very shy when it comes to this. I can't even say 'spank' out loud. :/. And I feel foolish telling him I want him to put me over his knees, warm up spank me, and end up with me getting a sound hand spanking (maybe eventually a paddle, or hairbrush) over my bare bottom til I'm crying and feel forgiven. I mean, maybe if I told him that him taking control is also a turn on? (even though I'm still a virgin) maybe that would help? I don't know... help me please!

[tigerboy17]

If you really want him to spank you that much talking about it is a good thing. But if he doesny feel comfortable spanking you forcing him or pushing him about it wouldnt be good for your relationship. Telling him taking control is s turn on would probaly help. He sounds really uneasy about spanking you so hes not going to jump right into it. If he does accept spanking it will take him a bit to get to a point where he is comfortable with the full spanking you want. Deffinatly talk about it but dont rush it. Good luck!

[Lisette]

The main reason he isn't doing it is that he thinks it's abusive and is afraid to hurt you. I doubt he'll ever agree to a DD kinda thing, but you could ask him to do it when you ask for it yourself? You really have to talk to him about it. Honestly. To me, being shy is normal, but not trying to overcome it is being dishonest and using it as an excuse. If he is really that one person you trust the most in the world and who understands you the best, he will understand. I know people might consider your desires weird and that you feel like you won't be accepted for it, but if he doesn't fully accept you as you are, then who will? I say, just go for it and I wish you the best of luck. ^ ^

[Kira_Wolf_Cub]

I'd say talk to him as well. Set up some rules that you both are comfortable with regarding. I know it's not an easy thing to do, I haven't exactly told my bf about it either, but a way you can talk about is just asking him about what his kinks are and then talking about each others kinks. Maybe share a fantasy with him and ask him if you can role play it or agree on a safe word so that he knows when you've had enough so that he knows he's not stepping over your limits and likewise fro him.

A spanking fetish is a hard one for guys to deal with when it's their girlfriends fetish sometimes, as society sort of beats into them that it's domestic abuse (which we all know it's not, but the stigma and morals are hard to fight). The first time I had a sexual spanking, it was hard for me to get myself to say it was what I wanted because I kept thinking it was wrong for me to want it. But I digress, I think the best thing you can do is just tell him, possibly while cuddling, what it is you want and then find something that works for the both of you. It's only good for you if you both enjoy it or at least meet mid way with it.

[CrimsonKidCK]

I'd venture that you should try to get your boyfriend to give you a light, playful seat-smacking, preferably before a sexual encounter. There's a well-known saying that "A guy will do just about anything if he thinks that it's foreplay." (Since you'd presumably become erotically excited by being spanked, it would arguably be foreplay to at least some degree.)

If you can then enjoy a mutually satisfying erotic experience (actual intercourse or something else that he enjoys, if you're still a virgin), I'd venture that you're on the way to his acceptance of at least mild spanking activity as part of sexual play. If you want a more intense experience, perhaps you could manage to persuade your lover to gradually administer longer, harder spankings.

It's basically a matter of showing your vanilla boyfriend, rather than merely telling him, that being spanked by him is something you truly desire... --C.K.

[knrf]

Originally Posted by otkwisher

I can't even say 'spank' out loud. :/

If you can't say it loud, so write it in form of a letter. Write everything down. What you feel. What you wish. What you expect.

Best regards

knrf