Peach Party (for Crooked)

[Slamomachines]

“EH-HE-HE-HE-HA! My witch’s brew needs only a few more moments to stew! Cauldron of trouble and bath of doom, cooked to roast below the blood red moon, show me beauty, bare and true! Let jealousy and pride hide beneath lovely locks, and those with the strongest lose their tops!”

The hearty, self-satisfied laughter of a witch rang through an upper tower of Boswer’s Castle as Kammy Koopa crooned over a bubbling cauldron, obviously pleased with herself and seemingly resigned to the apathy of the two other present members of the Koopa Troop: Wendy O. Koopa and Pom-Pom who simply watched with boredom and confusion respectively during the elaborate magical ceremony the magikoopa has summoned them both to watch without explanation as she threw a variety of strange components into the cauldron, ranging from witch staples like eye of newt to more odd choices, like dirty laundry or fishing hooks, along with a few long and slender tree branches.

“So, can we go now?” Wendy asked dismissively, looking closely at her painted fingernail instead of the person talking to her.

“Yeah, we could be training right now!” Pom-Pom spoke up sincerely, taking Wendy’s sarcasm completely straight. “Ever since all those princesses have started hanging out together it’s been way more difficult to kidnap them! We need stronger troops and better tactics, and to develop those, we need to train more!”

“Or, perhaps a touch of the old witch magic might split those insufferably sweet hearted princesses apart... permanently!” Kammy declared, which did seemingly catch a bit of Wendy’s attention, though her expression was still skeptical. Cackling to herself in a low tone, Kammy retrieved a rotten, frowning power up mushroom with a purple cap and a skull with crossbones pattern from a drawer, dipping it into the bubbling mix with a pair of tongs. When it came out of the mix, it was significantly more inviting looking: shinning gold in color, expression welcoming, and the words “TO THE SUPERSTAR” seemingly engraved on the cap.

Face twisted with obvious relish, Kammy did one final check over of her magic work and then turned to the other two girls. “Now, let’s go work some witchcraft!”

———

In the peaceful realm of the Mushroom Kingdom, Princess Peach has invited a collection friends over to spend the day with her. Since Mario has gone off golfing, that meant that the cake Peach has baked for having everyone over would be enjoyed specifically by the girls, none of which had yet arrived.

“Just apply the frosting like in the drawing, everything else is fine!” The princess said to the toad she’s left behind to put the final touches on the cake while she daintily moved around her home, wondering if anyone actually lived. With the table set and the smaller snacks laid out, Peach rushed downstairs to greet whoever would arrive first, leaving just in time to miss Kammy flying past a castle window on her broom, wand ready in hand..

Ah, the Mushroom Kingdom. It was several kingdom’s over from New Donk City and the trip over took several hours - hence why it wasn’t often that Mayor Pauline would be seen racing karts or attending parties with her fellow Princesses. But she was in town, and Peach was expecting her, so who was she to leave her hanging? A suitcase dragged behind the impeccably dressed mayor, plastered with souvenier stickers from all across the globe as she strut down the path to the castle with a ‘click, clack’ in every step. Castles… monarchy always seemed a bit outdated, from her democratic perspective. But Peach was good to her people, and her people, good to her, so she didn’t question it too hard.

Plus, it didn’t look like she was alone. Pauline’s suitcase rolled to a stop as a shadow joined her own. Her lips curled into a smile. “Hello, Rosalina.” She greeted the woman behind her with a thick Brooklyn accent.

Rosalina’s lip trembled with surprise. And here she was for the last few minutes thinking of the best way to introduce herself! Only for Pauline to speak up first?! “Oh… um, hello.” She sheepishly greeted back as the mayor turned to face her. The mayor swiped her long, brown hair out of her face, tucking it neatly under a long, red-brimmed hat to match her suit and tight-fitting pants, uniquely not wearing a dress compared to her princess friends. Like Rosalina, who had her usual light blue dress on, platinum blonde hair covering one eye and the other, sparking cyan.

My, Pauline had to appreciate, Rosalina might be the only person in the Mushroom Kingdom that made her feel small. She was a head taller, even when she wasn’t floating off the ground and in high-heels. “Pleasant to see you.” Pauline smiled, taking the initiative by stepping up and linking arms with Rosalina, much to the blushing princess’s surprise. “Shall we?”

A short march over and a knock came to the Princess’s door.

[Slamomachines]

The knocking was swiftly answered by Princess Peach herself, who seemed instantly overjoyed at the arrival of her two friends. "Rosalina, Pauline, it's great to see you two! Come in please, I hope you've been finding the Mushroom Kingdom pleasant."

Peach seemed to have an active but not fretful energy to her as she showed the two inside, seating them down on a pleasant and small but not quite intimate table that was already dotted with prepared tea and a few snacks. "This is perfect, you've both arrived right around lunch time and I'm sure you must be hungry after the trip here. Once Daisy arrives, we'll all enjoy a quick meal and then start the day's fun!" Peach was wearing her classic pink dress for the occasion, though it was a slightly lighter summer version and she'd left the tiara safely stored in her bedroom for the day, not wanting to misplace it and not needing it as a show of authority at the moment anyway.

"So, how have you two been? I trust the trip here was pleasant, and, uh, safe?" The Mushroom Princess asked, voice sounding ready to become apologetic but not quite assuming that they'd had trouble. "Bowser has been really quiet for awhile, it's no small blessing..."

---

Back in the castle kitchen, a trio of Toads were hustling about, getting the fine meal cart loaded up with the complete lunch Peach had planned. Everything was complete except the frosting on the cake, meaning that most of the discourse in the kitchen was two Toads trying to organize everything on the cart while one tried to fish the tube of frosting out of the sink drain he had dropped it down.

The whole scene was being watched through a window by the Koopa Trio. Pom-Pom, hanging by her feet from the castle wall above the window, quietly opened it from the outside and silently held the glass in place. Kammy then rose the broomstick that she was flying and Wendy was riding on so their eyes could peek through the open window. Both raised up wands.

"Just the basic trick Wendy, no need to get fancy. This mushroom will do the rest for us, but only if they take it." Kammy explained before casting a spell towards cart, causing the lid of a small dinner bell to lift itself up, revealing a cupcake underneath. After a moment of waiting to see if they were spotted, some of the disorganized silverware the Toads had loaded on began to shift and organize itself. When the other two shot her dirty looks, Kammy sheepishly explained "I just couldn't stand how badly they organized it! Now quick, send it over!"

Through the open window floated the gold glittering mushroom, one of Wendy's magic hopes wrapped around its base and carrying the poison shroom with it as the Koopaling's wand willed it to move. It hovered right through the air past the backs of the Toads, which were now standing on stools and trying to pull their third comrade out of the sink he'd somehow gotten his upper body trapped in.

When the mushroom fell into place and the ring spell ended, Kammy released her manipulation of the cart's contents, causing the moving plates and silverware to abruptly clatter into position, the sound scaring the Toads, but the startled jump proved just enough to dislodge their comrade. As soon as he gets a good look around the kitchen, the cake decorate proclaims with awe what a good job they did organizing the cart, and swiftly sets to work finishing the cake so lunch might be served.

Outside the castle, Kammy Koopa flew away on her broomstick cackling with mean spirited joy, while Wendy sat sideways on the broom, trying to look distant but interested in what happens, while Pom-Pom hung on below, grabbing the broom with one hand and eating the cupcake they'd swiped out with the other. "Now, we simply wait and see as these stuck ups bring about their own misfortune!"

---

"Hey! What's up everybody!?" Daisy announced loudly as she simply opened the front door and walked into the castle without knocking. Standing up from the table with enthusiasm, Peach ran across the room while holding up the top of her dress to avoid tripping.

"Daisy, I'm so glad you could make it!" Peach exclaimed as the two obviously close friends hugged as soon as they were able to, the mushroom princess clearly having no problem being less formal if the situation warranted it.

"Hey, I'd never pass on an opportunity to hang out with my best friend!" Daisy answered as the hug parted. "Well, unless I'm kidnapped at the moment but honestly, that hasn't happened for awhile now." She added almost contemplatively, before seeing the other two women seated at the table. Raising an arm, Daisy exclaimed "Hey, good to see you, Pauline, Rosalina! How's it been?"

Not a minute passed before the door swung open and a bright pink Princess with a cheery attitude to match arrived on the other side. Peach’s eccentricity was always a bit… much for Rosalina, so she stood behind Pauline and waited her turn as the Mayor tipped her hat. “Afternoon, Ms. Toadstool. It’s always a blessing.” She formally greeted before motioning for Rosalina to follow behind. “Ah, um, yes…” She quickly nodded in agreement. “Thank you for the invitation…”

Both followed inside, Pauline leading as she and Rosalina entered the castle’s corridors. Peach’s castle was always a sight for Pauline to have to pause and take in. Her office back in New Donk City was quite the claustrophobic closet by comparison to the towering ceilings, gorgeous, hand-painted murals and stain-glass windows of the Princess’s regal palace. Rosalina, on the other hand, was quite used to it, so she didn’t bother looking around her as she floated by and joined Peach first, her feet not touching the ground.

“Well.” Rosalina answered with a shy smile. “Not one bit, as always… the atmosphere is so clear around the Mushroom Kingdom, travel with the observatory is so much faster. Unlike some kingdoms… their air clogged with pollution, and such.” She lowered her voice to a whisper as Pauline approached from behind. “Hm? Keeping my chin up, Peach, how about you? It was a fine ride over, and I even brought the Odyssey back, if you could let Mario know it’s returned.” Pauline smiled.

None were any the wiser over what went on in the castle kitchen…

---

If Peach was a bit too much for Rosalina to take at once, Daisy was twice that. The boisterous tomboy came in with a bang and instantly rattled Rosalina’s ears as she flinched at the sound of her voice. Pauline was less phased. After all, New Donk City and Sarasaland were trading partners! She knew Daisy quite well. “Ah! Daisy! What a pleasant surprise.” Pauline welcomed her while Rosalina merely muttered “Mhm… pleasant…” as she crouched over.

Standing up from her seat, Pauline walked right on over to Daisy and didn’t hesitate to open her arms up for a friendly hug as well. “Good to see you!” She greeted with a firm hug, leaving only Rosalina waiting off to the side. “...” Rosa’s glance shied away for a brief moment… but oh, what the heck, she couldn’t resist. She floated up and out of her seat, dipping over across the floor as effortlessly as a dolphin through the water as she rose back up and gently gave Daisy a nice hug… only to be given a near piledriver embrace in response. “Daisy!...”

After what she was certain was an audible ‘crack,’ Rosalina let go and slipped back into place. “Ha!” Pauline giggled to herself, gently patting Rosalina’s back as she crossed her arms. “So. Anything we can do to help you prepare lunch?” She asked to Peach as the four united.

[Slamomachines]

“No, the Toads should be coming out with lunch soon enough, but thank you for asking!” Peach answered as she and her three friends sat themselves down at the table. Everyone was quiet for a moment as the room sat still and silent, Peach’s hospitable smile still on her face, even as she repeated herself a little louder. “I said, the Toads should be coming out with lunch...”

“HELLO!” One of the fungoid retainers shrieked in their shrill voices as he tumbled through the kitchen doors, being briefly but harmlessly run over by the clattering silverware trolley as the other two Toads pushed it into the room. Peach didn’t show any vocal distress over this, even as her expression tended and stood on end like a frightened cat, but the food did eventually arrive at the table unspilled while the three Toads eventually lined up in front of the table, looking proud of themselves. “Here it is Princess, Princess, Princess and Mayor! Anything else we can get you!?”

“No, no! That’s enough, thank you!” Peach said hurriedly, delicately lifting up the lid off a small dish to make sure the cake slice below was undamaged. “I’m going to have a personal lunch with my friends, you are all dismissed for the time being.”

As the trio shuffled out, Daisy was giving Peach a mischevious sideways grin. “So, what’s on the menu for food, and what’s on the menu for fun!?” She asked, reaching one hand for a bowel but having it slapped away by Pauline while Peach was still unloading the cart. Without missing a beat, she remarked that “There’s a couple of things we could try that would be first times for Miss Mayor, am I right?”

Ah, lunch was planned, and just in time too!... so Pauline and Rosalina thought, as both tapped their fingers awkwardly on the table-top following an uncomfortable silence. ‘Is this it? Did they finally unionize?” Pauline had to wonder, but the answer was quickly revealed to be ‘no’ - the Toads were just clumsy, as always. Here comes the parade! Or so it might as well have been from the incompetent performance the trio put on, yet their lunch arrived one way or the other. Pauline couldn’t hide her smirk at the Toad’s antics - they always were so funny. Rosalina could go without. Toads were fine, but Lumas were nice and quiet.

“Why, Peach! This is too much.” Pauline complimented, also half-consciously slapping away Daisy’s wrist to keep her from peeking early as the dishes were brought to the table one-by-one. “Mm.” Rosalina nodded in agreement, not a very big eater herself… around company, anyway. Just who could tell what delicious treats waited behind every platter’s cover? At least two cakes, one would guess. Hopefully something with a little more subsistence along with it, like a nice, baked Cheep-Cheep or scrambled Yoshi eggs.

As Pauline got back into her seat, she and Rosalina both kept a close eye on Daisy. The vague, lattermost part of Daisy’s offer being the most concerning. “Hm? Oh, oh, that’s… yes, aha…” Pauline quickly simmered down. Who could blame her? She’d heard of Daisy’s various, mischievous pranks in the past! “Please, call me Pauline.” She encouraged. All while this was going on, Rosalina drifted by Peach and asked politely, “May I open the main dish? I can start serving.” Once getting confirmation, she nodded with a shy smile and gently plucked the top of the dish off to reveal what was inside…

...it was to all four’s surprise to find simply a large, bedazzled, shining mushroom. “Hm?” Pauline’s brow perched. “Oh.” Rosalina blinked. “Is this a cake? It’s a very nice looking cake.” She nervously laughed. Standing up, Pauline squinted as she read the text on the top out loud. “‘To the superstar…’ Oh.” Throwing her hair back, she reached over to claim the dish. “Just because of that silly song of mine? Peach, you shouldn’t h-” Pauline began, but her hand collided into Rosalina’s on the way. “Oh?”

“Sorry.” Rosalina gasped as she pulled back. “I-I mean, super ‘star.’ I thought that was a pun… for me, of course.” Her voice trailing quieter and quieter as she spoke. “Ahh, I get it. No, I had a song one time-...” Pauline began.

[Slamomachines]

“Well, I figured I’d be feeding four people, and if we have any left over we can come back and eat the rest after a round of fun and games.” Peach explained as the dishes were revealed and spread across the table. Besides the lovely cake the pink princess had prepared herself, the lunch cart had been decked out with delicate snack foods, a few extra fancy treats, and a few tall bottles of liquid. In her initial haste to play host, Peach had missed the initial reveal of the odd mushroom.

“Sure thing Pauline, help yourself!” Daisy responded, taking an informal tone at her request while already chewing on a soup dunked cracker taken off a side dish. “So, I’m guessing you don’t have as much experience with all the, the running and jumping and falling off of things that Peachy and Rosalina get up to sometimes?” She asked, gesturing towards the astral princess while speaking in an affectionate manner. “It’s honestly been too long since I had a real adventure adventure, you know what I mean Rosalina? The sports tournaments and party games are still fun of course, but sometimes you need something a little more thrilling, you know?”

“It can be exciting....” Peach answered in a friendly but more reserved tone, while dropping a sugar cube into a small cup of tea in her hands. The one ongoing point of contention between the two royal friends is a playful jealousy expressed by Daisy that Peach “gets to have all the fun” on genuine adventures, while Peach tries to insist that a lot of them aren’t as amazing for her as Daisy seems to think. However, she did give a small pursed lipped smile sideways to Rosalina in response. “Well, so far Rosalina hasn’t joined us again after pitching in to rescue those wonderful Sprixies from Bowser’s wretched claws, but she’s always welcome to. Same for you Pauline.”

The conversation among the four continued to lightly glide around various topics, as discussions between friends usually do, until the appearance of the strange mushroom became everyone’s topic of conversation. Peach hadn’t seen the object actually sitting on her own plate, only spotting it after Pauline and Rosalina had both put their hands on it, causing her eyes to light up from the wrong conclusion. “Oh, girls, you shouldn’t have! You didn’t have to bring me a gift for hosting but I certainly appreciate it!”

Only Daisy didn’t move to grab the seemingly mysterious power up, initially because she had her hands full with a slice of cake in one hand and a tea stirring spoon in the other, but after swallowing and setting the cake down she was instead content to simply stare at the mushroom and the three women going for it with a small but excited grin. “So, we’re going for that for the afternoon amusement?” She said knowingly to Peach, grin getting higher. “I figured as much when you invited three of us specifically. Nice of you to present this to the born winner ahead of time!”

It was obvious that a disconnect existed between the four present, that while not blooming to full hostility did seem to leave everyone wondering at the intentions of the others. “Wait, so you didn’t bring this as a gift for me?” Peach asked, sounding a little bit scandalized but muttering to herself after “...because I didn’t plan this as part of the lunch.”

This concern, while healthy, would unfortunately not last.

“...” An awkward silence fell over the room. Pauline looked to Daisy. Then to Peach. Rosalina looked at both, then to Pauline. So… Peach didn’t plan the mushroom prize… and they didn’t plan it for her… “Wait.” Pauline blinked. “Then who exactly is ‘the superstar?’”

This question led to a quick burst of chatter between all three as Rosalina piped up first. “Again, I don’t want to seem too eager, but it does sound like wordplay, and the Toad’s are quite fond of me…” She began, but Pauline just as quickly talked over her. “Easy mistake to make, then… not to toot my own horn, either, but I’m the rarest guest here, aren’t I?” Rosalina’s eye narrowed as her lips pursed. “What’s that supposed to mean?...”

“Well…” Pauline scoffed. “It’d just make sense that the Toad’s prepared it for me, right? As a generous gift for my rare appearance.” To which Rosalina had to sigh and sit back. “Not much of a ‘superstar’ if you didn’t do anything but show up…” She grumbled. “Rosie!” Pauline gasped as she crossed her arms and furled her brow. “That was rather uncalled for.” Rosalina shrugged. “Sorry… maybe it’s not even meant for any of us?”

“I can tell you who it’s NOT for.” Pauline sighed, turning her glare to Daisy. “You don’t even have a good case for yourself, so please, stay out of this.” Rosalina turned both her hands up in rather surprise at Pauline’s abrasive attitude. “E-excuse me? Do we need to fight over this?...” To which Pauline shook her head. “No, but I do want to make it very clear that being kidnapped is not a source of adventure. I should know.” She huffed. Rosalina blinked. Well, if they were getting out all their grievances here…

“Um, on that note, Peach, I… wouldn’t expect me to be joining you again anytime soon.” She admitted. “Not your fault or anything, but that entire adventure was… a lot to take in. The cat suits… were sort of strange, weren’t they?”

“Anyway.” Pauline sighed. “Back to the point. Can we not let our nice meal be spoiled over something so silly? Let’s just agree to split it.” Rosalina’s brow raised as she slowly slid deeper into her chair. “...I don’t agree to that.” She muttered. “Ugh.” Pauline growled in reply. “Neither do I, but I was hoping you three would just let me have it…”

[Slamomachines]

As Rosalina and Pauline got into their own argument for the moment, Peach looked to the side and scowled a little at her long term friend. "Daisy, please don't instigate. I was going to discuss us potentially doing that if everyone was interested and agrees to try it out." Turning to the other two, the friendly host spoke up that "Ladies, ladies, please. Both of you are rare and welcome visitors to the Mushroom Kingdom, and the joy of your presence is all the gift you needed to bring!"

"I prefer to let my actions speak for me. I'm sure we'll know one way or the other soon enough." Daisy replied confidently to Pauline's assertion. Leaning back in her chair, Daisy teasingly then added "And that attitude is why you're not in Smash."

"Oh, nonono, I didn't mean something like that for today!" Peach replied hurriedly to Rosalina, not quite getting what she had meant in the building ruckus between the four rulers. "I'm sorry to hear that, would you still be interested in seeing the Sprixies again, in a, uh... calmer, setting then? They found you quite charming you know." Then, as mention of the cat suits entered the conversation, Peach's face got a bit pinky as she raised a closed fingered palm to her mouth and giggled slightly. "Ah, yes, strange!? Absolutely, agree. So weird, right?"

However, Pauline's call for order did manage to calm everyone, until Peach cracked an eyebrow at her suggestion. "Split.... it?" She asked, eyes going back and forth between the mayor and the power up. "Pauline, you, you don't... split up mushrooms like this."

"Why, what happens?" Daisy asked genuinely, now sitting upside down in her chair.

"Nothing happens, even less than if you eat it normally!" Peach said back, not really mad but a little flustered at this point. "That's why Mario can't just multiply his one ups with a fork and a knife."

"Oh." Daisy replied, sounding satisfied with the answer. "So, are we gonna bust out the game board to solve this or not?"

“...” Pauline blinked, looking up to Peach and squinting as if trying to tell whether or not she was being honest about that. Frankly, where she was from, massive, golden mushrooms weren’t the norm - in fact, REGULAR mushrooms weren’t the norm in her cityscape, much less ones of solid gold or with tiny eyes. “Oh, you’re serious.” Pauline muttered. Well, that left only one option in her eyes - to let her have it.

Others weren’t so sure. “Maybe we should just throw it away, then. It’s obviously causing trouble…” Rosalina suggested, perhaps with more foresight than she would realize. Unfortunately for her, her suggestion got lost in the hustle and bustle among the other three as Pauline immediately turned her sharp glare back to Daisy. “Daisy, no. I’ve heard a lot about Mario’s… ‘parties,’ so to speak, and they sound far too reckless for me to want any part in one.” She scoffed, turning up her nose in the meanwhile.

“...” Rosalina paused. “But… we could let the winner have the mushroom.”

Pauline’s eyes opened again. “This again?” She sighed. “It’s not so bad…” Rosalina muttered, shrugging innocuously. “Sure, there’s a bit of danger, but you won’t get badly hurt or anything. Plus, it can even be… fun, out of hand as it tends to get.” Pauline’s lip pursed the longer she thought on it. She was at an inherent disadvantage here, with much less experience than the other four… but if tonight proved anything, her smarts should go a long way.

“I suppose we’ll need Toadette, won’t we?” She muttered.