Don't Get Cooked! (for tailsy125)

It was EARLY. The sun hadn’t risen yet and not a single squid had peaked their heads out from under their covers, but one particular little white-and-pink Pop Princess waited on no one’s schedule but her own. Glasses of water would ripple, cabinets would shake and the earth would split open under her feet as the most renowned face in Inkopolis reared herself from the kitchen…!

A 4’9 Inkling wearing a white dress with a colossal zipper, pink leggings, funky white-and-gold boots, and black, fingerless gloves. The most fashionable white dress, pink leggings, funky boots, black gloves, and colossal zipper, she might add. Pearl was wide-awake at God-awful early hours of the morning, a coffee pot churning out two cups of Joe while eggs were cooking on the stove, orange juice - her’s WITH pulp, like a respectable squid, and her partner’s without - and toast in the Octo Oven. And on the radio blared an obnoxious rap song featuring the most talented singer in all of cephalopod history; herself.

“MA-RI-NA!” Pearl danced her way to her partner’s bedroom door, radio on her shoulder, two coffee cups held in one hand, with a tray filled with two plates, both carrying well-done eggs and burnt black toast, and two cups of orange juice. She gave her co-host’s door a gentle ‘KNOCK KNOCK!’ before inviting herself in.

On the other side, her companion would hear a “THUMP.” as her partner attempted to kick open the door. Then, she’d hear the door sliiightly creak open, and then a “THUMP” as Pearl successfully kicked it open. “Don’t you know what day it is?!” She asked, with a big toothy grin on her face, the door snapping back and closing behind her as she strut in. “It’s our show’s one year anniversary! And we gotta par-tay!” She chipperly announced as she hopped onto Marina’s bed, her tray barely balanced on her hand while coffee and orange juice sloshed dangerously close to spilling out of their cups.

[Bombay]

It was rare to see the older pair of Off The Hook up this early, and today is no exception. Yes, she knows it’s their anniversary, but she plans on easing into the day naturally and do the show without hiccups and then take Pearl out for dinner later. She has been planning this for quite some time, the only problem is, her co-partner has other ideas in mind.


The 5’6 Octoling wearing bright teal pajama pants and shirt stays snuggled in her king-sized bed. She smiles gently as she cuddles her large pillow as she sleeps, before she starts walking up because of the loud music Pearl’s playing. A gentle sigh comes from her as she picks up her drooling head from the pillow “maybe she’ll lower it…maybe this will be the day she finally takes the warnings to heart and lets me sleep” she mutters gently before she lays her head down and tries to go back to sleep. She almost falls back asleep, until she hears her name being screamed down the hall “and there’s the nail in the coffin”


She doesn’t even heard the gentle knock on the door, all she hears is the loud THUMP coming from the other side. She bags her head on the pillow “please, for the love of Cod, calm down Pearl!” but it seems the girl doesn’t hear her over the sounds of kicking her door down. she lifts her sleeping mask only to look at the girl lazily. “Pearl honey…shhhhh…it’s too early for you to break in and enter! We’ll do that later” she slowly nods her head “yes, I know what day it is Pearl” she quickly puts the tray on a spare side table before anything touches her silk blankets “happy anniversary Pearl!” she pulls the smaller girl into a hug “did the studio ever tell you what the splatfest is yet? You know how I hate waiting!” she says slightly giggling before she picks up a coffee cup and starts to drink.

It was only a matter of seconds until Pearl tripped and spilled coffee and orange juice all over Marina’s bed, so it was a smart move on her show-partner’s part to take the tray out of her hands. With her arms free, she put them to good use returning the hug to her partner, edging her cheek against her chin. “Shell no!” She proudly denied, “Today’s all about us-us-us, Marina! I’m breaking and entering all day! Every day!” Snickering to herself, Pearl dropped her head on Marina’s belly and nuzzled her head against her.

Meanwhile, down the halls of the dormitory Pearl was visiting Marina in, not everyone was so thrilled by her early wake-up routine. “WAKE UP WERE UNDER ATTACK!!!!!!” a frantic text sent out to all the drowsy agents still curled up in their beds, many of which covering their ears with pillows to block out the sound of Pearl’s tunes. “no grandpa we’re not it’s just pearl!!!” An assuring second text responded. Callie laid sideways on her pink bed in a pink nightgown, pink fuzzy socks, a pink hairband keeping her pink tentacles up as she typed away on a pink phone. “marie can you please go tell them to quiet down??” She asked of her cousin.

Pearl and Marina’s phones buzzed off the chain on the latter’s night-stand, untouched by the two celebrating show-hosts as Pearl was now laid on her stomach, legs swaying in the air behind her while one hand was holding up her chin, and the other was holding a burnt piece of toast with a big bite out of it. Her eyes looked shiftily up and around at the ceiling. She did know what the next Splatfest entailed - she, herself had come up with it! And it was already a hassle to get it past the management and their finicky rules about what can or can not go on TV, so she wasn’t about to spoil it for Marina and risk her calling it off. It’d be fun, if she gave it a chance!

“Nah.” She answered without a tint of dishonesty to her voice, having practiced this conversation many times already. “Studio said they went big on this one, though! They gave me some hints, but we’re not allowed to ‘fully’ know until it’s time to go live.” Pearl shrugged as she sat up. “It oughta be as big as you and me, though!” She smiled.

[Bombay]

She rolls her eyes when she feels her co-parner’s soft cheek against her chin. She can always be so childish, but she likes that charm about the girl “I would watch that language, you don’t want your mouth washed out” she joked. “oh really? I don’t remember adding another member to ‘us-u-and us’? I thought it was just us two~” she quipped before she feels Pearl’s face against her stomach. Her eyes widen and she giggles like a fool as she tries to yank the girl from her stomach “P-Pearl! S-stop that! I’m tickling! We can’t break in everyday, just today!” she giggles loudly and squirms around trying to escape from the girl.

Marina’s phone is charging on a spare dresser, but she can hear the frantic buzzing coming from her shell-phone. A gentle sigh comes from her before she baps the girl on the butt playfully “will you please keep it down? we’re going to wake everyone up! remember what happened last time” she shivers at just the idea of that spanking. she wasn’t able to sit for a week. Marie groans loudly and slowly sits up in her teal nightgown. She slips on her pure white slippers and glares at her sister “you know I did it last time, right? If I’m doing it, you’re coming with me” the girl explains before she starts walking to the pop star’s room.


Marina frowned when the girl explained what the studio told her “well…I guess we can’t argue with them, although I did hope they would make an exception for this one day! You know how much I hate surprises!” she started to scrape off the burnt toast before a loud knock on the door can be heard “did you invite anyone?” she waits for Pearl to respond before she hops out of bed and opens it “M-Marie! H-Hey, how’d you sleep?” she asks awkwardly and moves out of the way for her “we’re sorry for waking you, we promise to keep it down” Marie walks in and looks at the two girls before she starts to rub her temples “Marina! Enough” she shouts at the girl and Marina slinks over to her co-partner “I’m going to ask this once, why are you two making so much noise this early? And I don’t want silly excuses, I want the truth”

Callie’s fingers were crossed behind her back as she watched her cousin drowsily rise out of her bed. She knew it was technically her turn to settle down the new celebrity roommates of hers, but Marie was just so much better at being persuasive! And it seemed her luck had paid off, as Marie was pulling herself up and out of bed, Callie smiled tiredly… and then, abruptly, turned into a frown. “Aww! Why do I have to come?” She whined, but didn’t dare resist, swinging her feet from off her bed and sliding into her own cozy slippers as she followed Marie out into the hall.

Pearl flicked her tentacle back behind her all model-like, only breaking her confident facade once as she was unceremoniously patted on the rear. Of course there was an avid, unwelcome memory of their first time when Pearl decided to blare her radio in the morning. Apparently, living in a condo funded by the military meant adapting to their disciplinary standards as well, and Cap’n Cuttlefish’s idea of ‘punishment’ hadn’t aged well. It didn’t help that Agent’s 1 and 2 were delegated the roles of ‘disciplinarians’ - the old man seemed to play favorites that way - but at least it wasn’t the geezer himself wielding that wicked cane. Ugh. She swore she could still feel the marks it left under the multiple layers she was lucky enough to wear when it happened.

Happy to quickly deflect those memories off, Pearl shrugged. The knock on the door caught her attention and she sat up apathetically, having a good guess at who it was. She stretched her arms over head while Marina sat up to answer, sarcastically responding “Yep! I’m sure that’s the buzzkill I scheduled.” And when the door opened to a very disgruntled, very tired Marie, Pearl hopped off the bed and added “Just in time!”

Unlike Marina, Pearl was not one to learn from her mistakes and so rather than back down against Marie’s angry opening, she instead stood on her tiptoes just to make herself look taller while keeping Marina safety behind her. “Because we’re celebrating, lady! No sweat you’re not familiar with that!” Pearl gleamed with confidence, “Sorry to interrupt that badly-needed beauty sleep, but today’s our big day!” To emphasize her point, Pearl swung her hands around, keeping one up high and the other down low in her iconic pose.

From behind the wall outside, Callie turned the corner with a light in her eyes that her cousin would recognize meant things were about to become seriously off-topic. “That’s right!” She gasped, putting her hand on Marie’s shoulder. “It’s their anniversary! How exciting! You’re hosting a Splatfest, right? What’s the theme?” Snickering at her get-out-of-jail-free card, Pearl crossed her arms and responded, “You gotta wait and see, like everyone else!”

Huffing as she crossed her arms, Callie conceded, though turned to Marie clearly oblivious of their original intentions on coming here. “You remember when WE used to host those Splatfests, right? Those were wicked!”

[Bombay]

Marie glares at her sister “first of all, it was your turn to handle this and I could have been trying to go back to sleep while you handled it and secondly, if you don’t come with me, you’ll be getting their punishment!” the older cousin said sternly as she walked next to Callie “you do know when this happens again, because we both know it will, you’ll be going alone, right? This doesn’t count as your turn because I’m coming with you” she said bluntly looking back at the girl.


Marina giggles as she looks at the wobbling cheeks “oh clam down Pearl! It was just one smack, plus we know your naughty bottom needs a good warming~” she jokes “how long has it been since you got one? A few days? Maybe a week!” she giggles “remember when we got beat with that cane! Oh, it was awful, I wanted to spank you as revenge, but Callie said I couldn’t. I couldn’t sit for a week because of your little stunt” she smirks going down memory lane “and then I tried to spank you for every little thing which only caused more punishments for me from your hand” she blushes deeply remembering those. Those were always her most favorite punishments for some weird reason.

Marina’s eyes go wide when she sees it the splat sisters and Pearl spoke up “you did what!? Why would you do that!” she screams back at her before she slinks behind her co-partner. She’s much taller than the girl and she sticks out like a sore thumb, but Marie glares at the two equally. “Just in time for what Pearl?” Marie asks “You may think it’s too early for a punishment, but believe me, it’s not. everyone here is already up, so I would watch your mouth unless you want them hearing you begging like a tadpole”


Marie doesn’t seem as enthused with the girl’s attitude and she slowly moves closer “oh is it? I must have forgotten that when it’s ‘your day’ you can do whatever you chose and we all need to bend to your every command” a slight scowl forms on her lips “well, such a big day deserves big treatment doesn’t it brat?” she grabs her ear and tugs her up before she lands a few shots on her covered ass “think of this as your special big day punishment and I think this will be a perfect tradition to start because we all know you’ll learn nothing from this” as she speaks, her hand keeps smacking down on her cheeks “I’m tempted to get a special implement just to cement this occasion” Marina looks at the two with wide eyes “s-stop! She didn’t mean it!” Marie glared at the girl but stops swatting when Callie enters the room.

“you do know you’re supposed to be helping me, right? Not gawking over whatever splatfest they’re doing…right?” she lets go of the girl and looks over to her cousin “sometimes you need to be the bad guy Callie, I don’t like playing that part all the time” she explains and nods her head “although I am a bit curious about what you chose. I’m sure it will be interesting”

“they were pretty enjoyable to do! but we did make one fatal mistake. We let the audience chose their favorite splat sister. Now, I already knew who they’d chose, but a part of me still hoped my gut feeling was wrong” she smiles gently “I didn’t speak to you for quite some time after that and it was my greatest regret” she wraps an arm around the girl’s shoulder and pulls her into a hug “you two, don’t make that same mistake. Don’t chose something stupid like that”

Never had a smiled disappeared so fast as when Pearl’s ear was caught in an iron pinch. “Yow! Hey-!” She started to complain, but was quickly silenced by the first of several corrective swats to the seat of her dress. “Ow! Ow, ow! Let go of me! Don’t make me-!” She demanded, and Callie was swift to intervene, putting hands between Marie and Pearl to help her get away from her quick-to-anger cousin. Once let go, Pearl backed up into Marina, brushing off the back of her butt like she had just sat down in grass. “Hands off the merchandise, cranky old catfish…” She murmured, tucking her head against Marina’s while Callie spoke with her cousin.

Callie looked off to the side while Marie chastised her. Her cousin was her best friend and partner in crime, but took on a whole new attitude when angry, and it was best just to keep their eyes separate. Her hands crossed behind her back as she recalled why they were actually there. “Oh. Yeah, um, keep it down, would you?” She looked up to Pearl and Marina and put on her best ‘angry’ face, which was more like a pout than anything. Her suppressed hype couldn’t be put down long, though, so she later added “It IS their big day, though. We can cut them some slack.” a bit more sulkingly. “Yeah, cut some slack…” Pearl muttered in agreement.

With an unpleasant reminder of the note their show had ended on, Callie rubbed her arm awkwardly as she recalled what happened. “Oh, yeeeaaahhh…” She mumbled. What a fiasco that was. First, it started with the two avoiding each other, then it lead to arguments, and finally, to Callie running off, getting captured by the Octarians, and hypnotized. Agent 4 still didn’t fully trust her after what she put her through. Her arms crossed in sulking again. “That was kind of dumb… but it was fun while it lasted? Right?” She asked, a bit of cheerful hope in her tone.

Seeing Marie take a stern position, Callie remembered her orders to be more strict and got into position next to her, crossing her arms and straightening her posture, leaning inwards to check Marie’s face to be sure she was doing it right. “Yeah! So no ‘Pearl vs Marina’ Splatfests, alright?” She indignantly turned her head up, then opening one eye to gauge Marie’s response and be sure she was doing it correctly.

Having been inspecting her fingernails, Pearl lazily responded “Yeah, yeah, no fun allowed or something, whatev’s…” Glancing up once to stare Callie in the eye. “Can we get some privacy now?” She asked. Callie decompressed herself and grabbed onto Marie’s arm. “I think we made our point!” She confidently assured, “I’m going back to bed.” And before her cousin could complain, Callie headed out the door, pulling Marie with her as it slammed back shut.

[Bombay]

A silent growl escapes the older girl’s lips as her palm connected with her cheeks “Don’t make you do what?” she glared down at her. she’s in no mood to play games and if she knew she was going to be this much of a brat, she would have brought a hairbrush. Marie lets go of the girl’s ear when Callie intervenes. She quickly goes behind her cousin glaring at the two. Marina’s eyes widen when she looks down at Pearl “did she hurt you?” she whispers, but quickly calms down when Pearl slings the insult. Marina rubs Pearl’s “sore” cheeks before she looks up at Marie “that wasn’t very nice, she didn’t mean to wake anyone up! she’s just having fun on her big day, maybe you’re the one who needs a good ass warming!”

Marie hates it when Callie won’t look at her in the eye when she’s scolding her. It feels like everything she says goes in through one ear and out the other and that drives the older girl insane “Callie!” she screams before she rubs her temples “Callie…please look at me when I’m walking to you” she says a bit quieter still clearly upset at the situation. Marie rolled her eyes at Callie’s sad attempt to frighten the two pop-stars. It even got a quick chuckle out of Marina before Marie glares at the two “S-Sorry, we’ll keep it down! Promise!” Marina says awkwardly chuckling. If there’s anyone who can strike fear in her heart, it’s Marie. She then looks at Pearl “keep it down until they leave” she whispers and winks her eye hoping the splat-sisters didn’t see or hear that. she wants to act tough to impress Pearl

Marie sighs and shakes her head “no, it wasn’t fun arguing with you and wondering where you were for months” then a small smirk forms on her cheeks “what was fun was all of those times I got to spend with you on camera. We made so many inklings happy tuning in and we even inspired a few to follow in our footsteps” a gentle smile finally rest on her lips “I’m happy that you won and I’m sorry for bursting your bubble on your big day” when Callie starts to straighten up and act more intimidating, a small chuckle escapes her lips as she nods her head. No matter what she does, she’ll still be her baby cousin, but for anyone else, they might be a bit scared. “I have no say over the Splatfest, that’s princess down here!” Marina replies. Marie puts a thumbs up showing her that she’s doing it right

Marina nudges her side “Pearl, won’t you listen to the kind ladies so they can leave and we can have some time alone before we go on” she says through her teeth still keeping a smile on her face. a loud groan comes from her when she still doesn’t show them respect. Marie rolls her eyes “you two better keep it down, or I’m coming back with a brush!” she added when her cousin drags her out of the room. Marina sighs and flops on the bed on her stomach “that was too close…I thought we’re both gonna have sore bottoms performing today. You know how I hate sitting in that seat with one!”

“Yeah…” Pearl grumbled, keeping a wary eye on the door once it closed. Just for extra clearance, in case that Marie wasn’t content with just getting the last word - with a huff, she waited a second or two to be sure they were gone. And once they were… “Enough about them. Let’s talk about US!” Pearl jumped up and practically tackled Marina onto the bed, rolling over with her across the mattress. “We gonna be up all night! Splatting punks left and right!” She smiled wide, then nuzzling her forehead against Marina’s cheek. “Promise me you won’t get too salty when your team loses?~” She teased.

Safely out in the hall and out of earshot now, Callie gave Marie a little pull forward and turned around to face her. “You didn’t have to be so hard on them, you know.” She pouted. “You know how important Splatfests are to me! It’s surely the same for them.” Turning her back, she wandered back down the halls alongside Marie while they continued to chat. “And I really don’t think they’ll do something dumb like ‘Pearl vs Marina’ or whatever.” She shrugged. “They aren’t kids, or anything.”

—-

A couple hours passed and a several times, Pearl and Marina sat in their booth, the former of which even less able to sit still than usual thanks to her excitement, plus a little remaining sting from Marie’s hand back in the dorms. By the time they were ready to make their announcement, though, everything the Squid Sisters’ had suggested to her had gone through one ear and out the other; all Pearl cared about now was keeping herself from blurting out the Splatfest theme before it could be properly announced.

Television screens all over Inkopolis flicked on in preparation for the night’s news. Knowing of the up-and-coming Splatfest had Inklings and Octolings alike from all over the city tuning in, excited to see what two teams would be competing. And among them was Callie, back in her bed as promised with a bucket of popcorn in her lap while she eagerly awaited the upcoming news.

“Y’all know what time it is!” Pearl’s voice boosted over the speakers of a giant Jumbotron staged in Inkopolis square. Sound systems, stage-lights, microphones, concessions and the traditional voting booth were all set up and prepared, the square dimly lit while excited viewers of all shapes and sizes stood around with fists clenched excitedly over the upcoming reveal. “It’s time to celebrate our first anniversary with a worldwide Splatfest!” From behind the muffled glass, Pearl could hear the excited cheers of their audience in the square, a devious smile curling onto her lips. “Check it…”

The screen lit up with two, neon-colored silhouettes against a black-background. Callie squinted at the TV, trying to figure out the shapes… and, upon realizing just what they could be, her pupils shrunk as she reeled back. “Uh-oh.”

“Which sea creature do you like more…” Pearl gestured to the screen, the two silhouettes being filled, labelled, an announced. The green silhouette on the right took on a picture of a young Inkling girl - the one of the left, a pink silhouette, took up a drawing of an Octoling. “Squids? Or Octopuses?” She asked, her lips curling up to show the cheeky fangs beneath.

[Bombay]

Marina looked at the door for just a second longer before her eyes moved to Pearl. She didn’t like her being so sassy with Marie, but she thought both were wrong in that situation. She sighed gently before she nods her head “always going from one thing to another” she giggles and feels the soft body tackle her. she giggles loudly “Peaaaaaaaaaaaaaarly~” she whines feeling her roll on top of her. she nuzzles her cheek giggling “make sure to get a challenge this year Pearl! we were carrying our teams last year and it just came down to which one of us could find each other first” she rolls her eyes “hey, I might win this time” she landed a playful swat on her ass.

Marie follows clearly upset with what just happened, but she followed her cousin “they need discipline, it’s not my fault you’re unable to give it to them Callie. You can’t blame me for that” she says bluntly and keeps walking “that doesn’t mean they get to break the rules on their anniversary. I would say the same thing to you if we pulled a stunt like that” she sighs and nods her head “I hope you’re right Callie, I don’t want to deal with that. Best case scenario they chose something like ‘cake or ice-cream’ for their celebration” she says softly

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marina must have asked a million time from the morning to now about what the Splatfest is, but Pearl kept a tight lip. she crossed her arms like a child huffing when she waited for the cameras to start “I hate that you made me wait so long…but I’m also really excited. Let’s make this show our best one yet!” she said from behind her desk cheerfully. “so…I got you a little gift” she says softly and goes under her desk. It’s wrapped in a bright pink box with a white bow “but you can’t open it until after the show”

Marina let Pearl start with the intro before Marina adds in “can you believe it’s been a whole year already? It seems just yesterday that a certain girl was having a bit of stage fright because someone was scared they couldn’t live up to the great Splat Sisters!” when she says that, crowds around the two older girls start cheering. It’s enough to put a light blush on Marie’s cheeks. she giggles “but enough about memory lane, let’s look towards the future and see what we’ve all been waiting for!” she looks towards Pearl and waited for her to make the cue to show the new Splatfest.

Marie instantly knows what the shapes are, and a loud growl comes from her. “Callie…I’m going to kill them” she says through grinding teeth. she starts stamping towards the studio not caring if her cousin is following her. she warned them what would happen, but it seems as though Callie’s method was flawed…again. sometimes that girl just needs to listen to her.

Marina’s jaw drops when she sees the screen. She can’t believe Pearl did something so stupid even after they were warned. Her eyes go over to Pearl with wide eyes wondering if she still thought this was a good idea. “Octopi Pearl” she says softly before she snaps back into her stage personality “yeah…tell us your favorites…hehe!” she says awkwardly. She takes a deep breath before she fully gets back into character “that’s it for today folks, and remember, don’t get cooked, stay off the hook!” she does her signature pose and wait for the cameras to stop recording before she screams “are you insane Pearly!”