Spanking and pain

[melan]

Hello everybody.

this is the first time that I write something in this forum because I'm going to be spanked in the next days for the first time in my life! To be more precise: for the first time I'm going to be really and severely spanked, light spankings have always been part of my life.

I have a new partner, he is an expert spanker, and we agreed for a spanking program: I will get 12 strokes with a wooden paddle, followed by 12 with the cane. I took it as a challange, I want to how him and myself that I can take such a spanking that will be delivered very hard. We have a safeword, but I don't want to use it.

I'm very much afraid of the pain, but even more of my reactions: I don't want to make a fool of myself and I'm especially afraid to not be able to prevent tears. To be honest I'm a quite mature a generally self confident woman, I don't want to look a crybaby...

I generally have a pretty good pain tolerance, but the question is: how much painful is going to be this punishment? Is it generally bearable or not? Is it a pain that can reduce a grown up woman to tears and, if so, what are your suggestions to prevent them?

I understand that mine can seem a strange question, I've read that for many spankees tears are considered positive, a target to achieve. But in my case, as I said, this is a challange: my partner told me "I'll give you something to cry about" and I answered "I'll never give you this satisfaction".

If someone can give me an answer I'll be really grateful!

Many thanks,

Mel

[Izumi]

I would suggest that you don't push yourself,if you can't take the whole spanking at once see if he'll let you take a "timeout"

[RobM]

Originally Posted by melan

I'm very much afraid of the pain, but even more of my reactions: I don't want to make a fool of myself and I'm especially afraid to not be able to prevent tears. To be honest I'm a quite mature a generally self confident woman, I don't want to look a crybaby...

I generally have a pretty good pain tolerance, but the question is: how much painful is going to be this punishment? Is it generally bearable or not? Is it a pain that can reduce a grown up woman to tears and, if so, what are your suggestions to prevent them?

If someone can give me an answer I'll be really grateful!

I'd suggest that very few people can tell you what your own pain tolerances will make of it, we don't know you and everyone is different.

If you're not a crybaby I don't know, but if the guy is a serious about 12 with a cane - especially a senior cane - then tears are possible, at the very least at the corners of the eyes.
Please do let us know how you did~

In case you're wondering the severity... 12 strokes with a good cane on the bare bottom I would expect to raise welts and possibly bleeding from a tiny cut or two. Depends on a great deal of factors but at full-force thats very plausable.

As always of course, the punishment is as painful as you want it to be - and no more. If you don't want to take it to the point you're going to cry, don't.

Certainly don't be afraid to take the punishment in installments over the course of a period of time. Thats your choice.

Originally Posted by melan

We have a safeword, but I don't want to use it.

This is the only part I would cut and highlight for special mention. Its great that you want to explore far and that you don't want to use it. But always be prepared to use it when going into a situation, I've known spankee's who've declared that they will never use safewords for various -dumb- reasons. None of these I consider valid.
Safewords are not just there for you, they're also there for the spanker/top.
Especially when you're doing a hard scene and taking it far as you can go.

I believe I have a superb connection with a spankee when I'm using my hand, whether its for play or for light/strict discipline. When I'm using an implement thats almost completely gone, that tactile sense goes.

Without your sub giving feedback - in the form of subtle clues within the banter, if thats the kink you've got going on - and excercising the alert it can be easy in a scene to take it too far.
Especially if you're giving a very hard punishment with the intention of both parties to take it to tears. Despite a lot of the BS spread in the culture myself and most of the doms I know would take that with caution, it requires you to pass a few of the limits you would normally place on your behavior.

It can involve pushing well past the normal levels of resistance and the borders of what may be considered 'common consent' and to keep going beyond trusting that you'll be told when to stop.
I would never do it with a sub who I didn't believe would make use of safewords [plural] as this would lead to me pulling my punches, you if understand.
I wouldn't feel comfortable inflicting long and sustained pain - past the point its bearable - without knowing myself that its safe to continue to do so. I would find it difficult once I've drawn blood with an implment to keep pushing without the mutual trust both ways that the sub won't allow me to genuinely injure them.

I personally would recomend showing a lot of caution around a dom who boasts about taking someone all that way straight away, I don't know how widespread that feeling is as I've never spanked a crybaby.
I'm not sure if I'm explaining this last bit well...

[melan]

Originally Posted by Izumi

I would suggest that you don't push yourself,if you can't take the whole spanking at once see if he'll let you take a "timeout"

Thank you for the suggestion. We agreed I'll take instalments of six strokes with 2 minutes break in between.

About the pain: have you experienced a similar punishment? Can you describe how bad would be the pain?

Thank you again,

Mel

---------- Post added at 08:16 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:49 PM ----------

Originally Posted by RobM

If you're not a crybaby I don't know, but if the guy is a serious about 12 with a cane - especially a senior cane - then tears are possible, at the very least at the corners of the eyes.
Please do let us know how you did~

Thank you for your advises! My partner and I are more than very good friends and I trust him 100%. He is an expert spanker, but this is the first time that I accept to be submitted to his "care".

As said, this situation (that I'm enjoing...) was triggered by a challenge and, since we are both very competitive, I want to win, but I want to prepare myself.

His dream is to reduce me (a mature, self confident, sometimes a bit arrogant elegant professional woman) into a sobbing crybaby with a burning but, something that I cannot accept...

My dream is to take everything with dignity, not showing my distress, still and silent (I know, this wlll be almost impossible, considering stories I've red on the internet, but this is my dream) and at the end to stand up, look in his eyes with mine perfectly dry and say: "thank you, it was nothing special"...

I know, this is my dream but I'll use all my willpower to achieve this result. Probably I'll be vocal (partucularly I fear the cane) but I will try to restrain ugly screams and I'll not be able to keep still. But the last part is the more important. Are you sure the the cane will bring me to tears?

In any case I'll write a detailed report of this challenge, and thank you very much for your support. If you have other suggestions, please don't hesitate!

Mel

[Izumi]

I have never gotten a reel spanking as an adult,so I can't tell you about my experiences