Treatment in Spankings

[Nerine]

When I was in middle school, I didn't really desire to have a spanking, but I always imagined (like in stories and whatnot) that my characters would be humiliated and demeaned. I often desired whipping the back than a bare bottom spanking. Then, as I got older, and actually wanted a spanking, I received one from a man in my college. It wasn't good...it didn't even hurt at all, and it was over my pants. But the whole time, he treated it like a game, like he would hum a song and hit me on certain notes, and would say things like, "Does it hurt yet? Huh? Does it?" And when I cried out on a hard slap, he hit me harder and I bit my lip, surpressing a cry, and then he said, "Well at least you have some manners."

I hated that. Now, some like to be demeaned, more so than I was, which is fine. But I realized that I get a huge knot in my stomach, and I get really uncomfortable and stop thinking about the spanking, and more so about what's being said to me and how I just want the spanking to be over, not because of the pain but so I can just leave because I feel like I'm trash and not a good person who is being corrected by a spanking.

Now, I've figured out what I like. Firm, yet gentle. Forceful, yet controlled. I don't want to be pushed on a table to receive punishment, but more like eased down and held firmly, maybe even squeezed tightly. Instead of saying "You're a bad girl!" or "What were you thinking? You stupid girl!" or "Is this what you wanted? Well you're getting it!" or "You're not sorry yet!", I like things like, "I will not have you disregarding the rules, do you understand?" or "I know you're sorry, but that does not change what you did, or the consequences of your actions," or "I decide when your punishment ends, not you," or "You will accept your punishment. I will not have you standing up again or you will receive more with the strap." Things like that.

My point is, what do you guys like? I am very picky, as you can see, but I want to know what you all like. I like firm and gentle, do you like angry? Demeaning? Humiliation? Kindness? I want to know! And don't worry, not much offends me, so say whatever. Just because I don't like it doesn't mean that I can't appreciate or understand why a person likes something.

Also, are there others who agree with me? And if you don't, like I said, that's fine. ^_^

Sorry, but I thought of another point. To me, if most of the spankings are firm and gentle, then it is more surprising and meaningful should the spanker become angry or have an outburst. Like, if you make an insulting statement, and they whirl you around and give you a few hard, surprising swats, it's much more breathtaking. ><

[Circe]

It rilly depends on my mood...

[ARTSY]

Well Risu, I'm glad you typed that all out, Because that is exactly like me. I have fanatsies where my people*Usually me* Get wedgies along with their spankigns in front of huge crowds, while people laugh and tease, but if someone did it to me. I would get very cold and very vengeful. Not the exact same as you, but yes. Now in my realistic fantasies, something I know I want, It would a setting where the spanker knows how to be fun and loose but is normally very clam and set. They are forceful, but considerate of your feelings.
That's How I am anyways.

[Nerine]

Awesome. Thanks for replying. No it isn't exactly like me, but very nice nonetheless. ^_^

[Hrtofdrkns]

Oh yes, I know what you mean Risu. Humiliation (spanked in front of a crowd, teased during it) is a big turn off for me too.

I also like the spanker to actually care for the spankee's well-being. I'm okay if he/she is a little bit angry, but not screaming, red in he face fury.

[Nerine]

I know what you mean. I don't see any justification for that kind of anger in any situation, you know? Unless if you did something REALLLLY messed up. Like awful. And care for the spankee is very important to me too. People ask me if I could ever be one of those live spankers like on stage and whatnot...I couldn't mainly because the person who spanks me has to know me and care for me. ^_^ Not to mention that I wouldn't want to get spanked in front of a crowd anyway. XD

[Mushy]

Noting that you said that you're picky - you have every right to be, as the spankee. If you don't feel comfortable about the spanking, you have the right to pull out. Wish your experience in college hadn't been so uncomfortable for you. I don't think I would like that either.

I like things totally different from you, but at the same time, there are some similarties. I don't want to feel insulted because I want a spanking, and someone is feeling forced to give it to me, and has to ask when I've had enough just so they can quit. I do enjoy slight humiliation, but I don't want to feel like the spanker doesn't care about me. In fact, I want to think that the spanking is because they care about me. I like the idea of being reduced to that of a child but...only in a more gentle way. Gentle scoldings, things like that.

I feel like the only one that likes this, but I enjoy wordless exchanges between the spanker and spankee. That the spanker would be crafty enough to gauge how I'm feeling. I'm one of those that doesn't cry so easily but I don't want this "I'm going to spank you until you cry" shit.

If that happens, my spanker would be liable to hurt me in a damaging way. Though sometimes the idea that I would be spanked almost that hard would be amazing, I don't want someone to assume that I'm going to cry everytime, or SHOULD cry everytime. If there are pauses in the spanking to actually talk to me, to see if the lesson has come through, that would be okay. They could probably tell by my defiant face or not whether I've had enough. :P

My current boyfriend is still kind of exploring what I like, I think. I think I'm bad about confusing people over what I want.

I don't really like to be held afterwards. I feel like I like a lot of things other people don't. ;-;

I like my alone time, and THEN maybe some consolation, or just things going back to how they normally were. I want to be alone and forget it and bounce back like it never happened (other than my maybe hopefully learning my lesson). ^_^;

It's neat to hear everyone's own style and flavor about how they want treated during a spanking. I think it's good for other people to know that it's not just all about punishment, but pleasure as well, and there is more to it than spanking itself. Each spankee and spanker wants something out of it. ^^;

[Nerine]

I agree totally on the last statement. And, I do prefer not talking really during the punishments. I want subtlety. Simplicity. A harder slap to emphasise a point, a tighter squeeze as a warning, a slight caress to know that they care. Yes...it's an art, really. It's not an easy thing to do, to spank correctly.

[ARTSY]

Well I just gotta say I would feel awful if I didn't get a hug or whatever after a spanking. It would make me feel like I'm a worthless piece of crud and that they just want me to stop and the y don't care about me. It's odd, I'm a very touch-feely, cuddly person yet No one would guess that from how I act in real life. -.-'

I don't see any justification for that kind of anger in any situation, you know? Unless if you did something REALLLLY messed up. Like awful

Like Osama? ^.^ I could paddle that guy's ass and not give a shit.

[RobM]

Can we leave that guy out of it? I'm kinda bored of seeing his name now, thats like the third time this month someones said his name in a thread here -___-
Can we use some more Modern culture references? Please?