How hard have you been spanked?

Hello, this is William, my very first post. I am a spanker, and a spankee I do not have much experiance, but I must know from a submissive women's perspective. How hard should the spanke be spanked without over doing it. I have spanked five women in my life. Four of which I have spanked bare bottom, and the other was over jeans. the one thing I have noticed is everyone I have spanked has a very low pain tolarance. I have only used one other other then my hand, and it was a small leather paddle you can buy at a gift shop for around $15.00 I have never punished a women to tears beacuse I always get a "I am serious I can not take anymore. I am asking, how do you really know when to much is to much. I have never left redness that lasts more then 2 hours, and I just want to know if women out there with higher pain tolarances actully do exist, and are not a figment of my fantasy. Thank you for taking the time and reading this.


-William

[ellipsis39]

I received juvenile spankings and have had other spanking relationships since I was a little girl, and I think I know what "hard" means, although my adult experince is with just one guy, so perhaps my frame of reference is more limited than I might think. Early in our relationship he had a few occasions to spank me quite hard, as punishment, before I came to understand just how our relaionship was going to work. Once I learned, my spankings became sensual and highly erotic, with the understood purpose of being foreplay for sex. It was wonderful sex play. These in general weren't as hard, and didn't need to be for the purposes of sexual arousal, although the hardness and duration that I needed and could tolerate for proper arousal depended in large part on my time of month.

I think if you are just into "casual" spanking you must go with the girl's wishes, which may include giving her a safeword and adhering to it. If your relationship continues and both of you become more comfortable in it, it may become understood just "how hard is hard." However, please remember that there are times when girls are more physically sensitive and other times when we are less so. In the latter case, a harder spanking may be acceptable to achieve the same result. You should also consider duration of a spanking. There are times when I'm willing to spend half an hour or more across his lap and endure hundreds of spanks before we go on to "other things," and there are times when only 40 or 50 spanks arouse me immensely. There really aren't hard and fast rules that apply uniformly to every girl. There's mostly trial and error, and the male ought to err on the side of safety and consideration with a new or uninitiated spankee partner. If I had been brutalized early on, I might have come to an entirely different feeling about being spanked than I did. Fortunately for me, even when I was spanked hard, I was spanked with empathy and consideration.

As I have matured, I have also come to understand that because I tend to be high-strung and I often get myself "wound up too tightly," I do need spankings for therapeutic purposes. These are much harder than for erotic purposes and are meant to clear my mind, focus me, and release guilt and tension. This kind of spanking needs to hurt, even to the point of tears, to achieve its purpose. My guy and I aren't as structured as some people in this type of spanking, as to setting exact dates and times, durations, and so forth. I just know when I need one, and I'm not afraid to ask him to do it. They really do help me to get my head on straight and to get past the stresses, tensions and humdrum of life and understand clearly what is really important.

Thank you, you did more then help, and BTW. You are a wonderful spanking, if you can humble yourself and ask for a punishment because you feel guilty. I wish you luck on that domestic diciplin realtionship.

[mushishi]

Well, I know I'm a male switch with low pain tolerance, but I think I can add some relevant information so...

How hard should the spankee be spanked without over doing it ?

I can't answer that, since it varies from person to person.
I can answer your second answer though.

I just want to know if women out there with higher pain tolarances actully do exist, and are not a figment of my fantasy?


They definitely exist. I've spanked a girl whom I dared not to spank to tears, since she had such high pain tolerance that it would have resulted in causing serious injury to her. (of course she is kind of special since she is a tough and extremely stubborn girl with years of martial arts training behind her)

There are also women who are not only spankees but also really love pain itself, (I've met such women) and would love to be spanked to tears.

My ideal partner though would not have high pain tolerance (so even a hand spanking would be hard enough for her) but would love to get spanked to tears sometimes.

[Macha]

How hard should the spanke be spanked without over doing it.

The first thing you should learn is that not every woman is the same. There is no answer to your question, because people are different.

[Loki_Darksong]

Originally Posted by Macha

The first thing you should learn is that not every woman is the same. There is no answer to your question, because people are different.

Actually there is an answer and you just said it, Macha. Everyone is different. Using just myself and my fiance as an example I can take a great deal more when I bottom than she can. But then there are times when she surprises me by what she can take when the mood fits her.

I have spanked woman, and men, who range from barely take a tap to going through my entire toy collection twice over. It really depends on the situation and the person. Call it a delicate trail and error play that one must err on the side of caution until or unless you know the person that you are topping.

Loki

[ThEmAsKeDcOwTiPpEr]

From my spanking experience (spanker) there is a such thing as low + high pain tolerances. As Macha said, everyone is diffrent so it would be a very intelligent idea to find out what your spankee's is before you take them over your knee.

In my wife's case, she as an extremly low pain tolerance. I have come to find that many medium-force spanks are more effective then a few hard ones.

[nuraskye]

I have been spanked hard enough that Blood was brought to the surface and It hurt.. but yes women do exist with higher pain tolerances.. My experience in spanking, though, is that even though I have a low pain tolerance I love to be spanked very hard. It's odd... never been brought to tears though.. O.o

^_^

[lawafc]

i really think the point here is about time not force. spankings can be hard if the spanker is prepared to take the time.

[Firefly]

Just adding my two cents to the list. I have a high pain threshold. Personally, I really enjoy a good, hard spanking. I want to be spanked to tears, almost to the point where I can no longer stand it! I want to feel the sting for a long while after it's over. I want to sleep on my tummy, and I want to be uncomfortable sitting the next day! I like seeing bruises and welts. It sends a delightful shiver up my spine, to sit down and be reminded that I was recently spanked. <3