Dark Manor (spring jam 2019-ish)

[Arnal]

Hello,

Only a few months late, what was supposed to be my entry for Spring Jam 2019

You can find it here: http://www.mediafire.com/file/861c5w...illain.7z/file

Based around the "You are the villain" theme, you play as an evil Dark Mistress whose manor is being invaded by a group of adventurers that will need to be treated with a firm hand. Verbal and physical trashing ensue.

Inspired in some part by the Birch Manor section of Spanquest; be warned however that, contrary to said reference, you are definitely not a mischevious but mostly sympathetic vampire: I ramped up the villainous aspect a notch or two to keep with the year's theme.

around 10-15 minurtes long, it is more an extended cutscene punctuated by a few very obvious puzzles than a game per se. I don't think I will expand on it much latter on, as quite frankly the whole setup does not really appeal to me. I had an alternate "good ending" in mind, though, so I might add it at some point.

Anyway, this version seems relatively stable, but there might be a few minor bugs and typos here and there. If you would be kind enough to point them back to me, that would be nice.

Comments and advices on the writing would be most welcome as well, as this game was mostly made so I could stretch my narrative muscles a bit. Don't spare me, it's how I learn.

The "sparkle effect" make sparkles appears on the element you need to interact with to advance the plot once you hit a wall. Given that the puzzles are extremely basic to begin with, it make the game very short. On the other hand, the puzzle aren't necessarily all that logical, so it might save you some frustration.

[Rhizu]

Let me start off by saying that the idea of playing a villain is what hooked me before even playing. It's a breath of fresh air and a creative idea that helps your game stand out.

Now let's start with what you can work on.

First Grammar and spelling. I would suggest using Google docs or something like it to help out. You can use it to write out the story ahead of time so your not making it up on the fly, or to easily rework a sentence or dialogue if need be.

Game play wise the puzzles and exploration were solid as i felt the puzzles made logical sense and castle was fun to explore.

The narrative was good but rushed which is understandable given how short the game is. Nothing really I could say as this issue should be addressed with more work done to the game.

The Spankings are where I have the most issues with the game. This is also an issue with other games on this sight too so I’ll be more detailed. The fact of the matter is that the spankings while short quickly got boring.

The problem is that it is just a wall of text on a black screen, This gets old fast. Add in player interaction be it choices or selecting dialogue options to help spice things up. Hell if you can maybe find an artist to draw pictures for you.

I guess overall I can say is that I enjoyed this game but its length hurt it. Everything felt rushed which again is understandable as this is the first version and these issues can be fixed with a bit more time and effort.

So keep up the good work man!

[Mastermind]

Super fun! Characters were distinctive and cute, playing as a genuinely evil character also made it very unique. It'd be awesome if you decided to add a 'good' ending! I'd love to see her get her commeupence. Guessing it'd involve that room she refuses to enter?

[Godspeak]

This is a pretty cool idea! Very much what I was thinking when I set the theme for the jam as "You Are The Villain". I realize that the jam is long over, but if you were still interested in developing this game a little more, I'd like to see more options for how to get the adventurers to let their guards down, perhaps with different scenes for each. I think it would also be cool to add a failure state, like what Mastermind suggested. Perhaps there are 3 ways to entice each adventurer and one of them is fairly obvious, another is a little more obscure, and then another is a red herring that will give you a fail state if you try it?

These are all just suggestions of course. I'm happy to see that you took the theme and made something cool with it! I'm looking forward to what you decide to make next!

I liked the concept of the game, and specially Carmilla, boy, those are very harsh words of her, but it was very deserved for everyone xD.
Loved it, it will be great if you decided to make more.

[Arnal]

Thanks for the feedback!


The game is short because I envisioned something that could realistically be created in four days (I was off by a long shot, but that is another matter entirely). Amusingly enough, Rhizu, my feeling toward the content was inverted: I could put most of what I wanted in term of narration and character setting, but felt that the puzzle and exploration part was much too sparse to dilute it properly. However, I concede that the spanking scene themselves are the weakest part; I focused almost exclusively on the dialogue, and the "spanking" event was treated as a small detail on the side.


There were originally other puzzle pieces planned (to break the pairs before targeting them one by one), but I scrapped it because the actual puzzle I had planned were really weak. I also had the possibility of failure (if one of the heroes spotted you), but I scrapped it as well because it didn’t bring much, spanking wise: the problem is that the heros are pretty much all "straight men" in this story, so they would just try to fry you on sight (and because they are not completely stupid, they won't wander off separately once they realize you can survive their attacks, so it's pretty much instant game over, try again).


The planned "good ending" is a bit of a Deus Ex machina for now, and it suffered from the "fry on sight" problem mentioned above. I'm trying to find a way to set it up properly, but it might take a while.


The main problem, though, is that while I tried to make something original and theme-fitting, the game doesn't really appeals to me: I tend to identify more to receivers (albeit I acknowledge that giver player characters make for much better gameplay possibilities), and actually evil spankers are one of the last things I'd like to play as (that's actually one of the reasons why the npcs are so developed compared to the protagonist).


So, while I agree that adding more puzzle options would be great, I'm not sure I'll go through all the trouble, especially as I can't think of that many original idea to add to begin with. I'll probably focus more on new project that appeals more to me.

[milf]

I can fully understand you on not being into the Spanker part. As a hard core Spankee... This game was interesting, but just not my cup of coffee, sorry. I will be looking forwards to any future spankee games you come up with.

[Aprion]

always fun to play the villain. would be nice if you had a few more options when dealing with the "heroes" but all in all a fun little story.

[psyger]

Really cool game! It's not 100% my thing (I'm more into spankee fantasies), but the characters were really well done given your time constraints. My favourite part was the worldbuilding and interactions in the starting room...
I'd love to see you build on the ideas and themes of this game in order to make something longer!

[Vayre]

I must admit that I'm struggling with this; I've got the two in the library and the princess in the quarters, but I cant figure out how to solve the puzzle for the last of the first four. "That one is swift and vigilant ... unless I find some way to dull her reflexes". I thought it might be something to do with food or the dolls as those both came up in her dialogue, but I can't find anything in that area to interact with and nothing is sparkling for me.