Finally leaving the shadows.

[CottonFluff]

Hello there.

I'm Stephen (technically Steven, but I like the other spelling). I've been lurking around this site for... well, a long time. If my join date is to be believed, some 6 years now.

I've been drifting around the web ever I first discovered my interest in spanking. I had discovered many sites like this, but I wasn't comfortable really poking my head out into the open. It's taken me years of denial, fear, guilt, and general panic to open up about my fascination, and at the suggestion of a close friend, I finally have decided to come out from hiding and introduce myself. I admit, it's probably going to be awkward (heck, feels that way already) but I need to do it - aside from being mildly creepy, lurking can get pretty lonely.

So enough rambling and onto the intro, I guess. I'm a 24 year old male, fresh from College at Oregon Tech with a bachelors in Communication and a minor in Psychology. My hobbies are reading, writing, photography, video games, long walks, conversations over coffee, cooking... kind of the whole gamut of things.

I'm inexperienced when it comes to anything spanking related IRL simply from the fact that I've not been comfortable telling anyone about my interest. I identify more as a sub, but I can't say I know for sure. The idea is intriguing to me, but beyond some very minor self spanking attempts I'm unsure even how it feels.

It's taken me 6 years of hiding behind a crummy generic username (one that I hope to change into something more inviting... barring that, starting fresh with a new account). I'm finally getting to the point where I'm accepting myself as not some horrible person but as a human being with a normal kink that many people share with me. Enjoyment of artwork from so many of the wonderful artists here (Almond, Passionate Shadow, Naughty Smallmew, and CM Zero to name just a few) has been my dirty little secret for far too long, and now I want to get to know you all, maybe get up the courage to write or draw some of my own stuff for submission.

I know nothing of any of you, really, but this site has been a part of my life for so long that I don't even know where to begin to repay you. I love you all and I hope that you will accept me as one of you despite being nothing more than a lurker for so many years.

-S

[Dave_Mire]

Go for it......

[Circe]

Nice to see ya emerge from the shadows, hon ! Don't feel so scared and like something is wrong with you. ^^

[CottonFluff]

Originally Posted by Circe

Nice to see ya emerge from the shadows, hon ! Don't feel so scared and like something is wrong with you. ^^

"Scared and like something is wrong with me" is kind of the major reason I stayed out of view for so long. Heck, I was a little concerned that I'd fly under the radar even when I was actively trying to get seen.

I'm not still overly paranoid and getting used to being comfortable with it, honest! *cough cough*

But seriously, thank you! I'm gonna try and come out of my shell a little more here in the next few days. It's a new and unusual experience to feel supported for a change rather than think I'm being judged (even when I'm not). So I wanna try and make the best of it.

[greyrain]

What's that old saying? Better out than in. Sort of applies here. I know I felt better once I told a few people. I still have...difficulties sometimes. But on the whole embracing this part of me has been a good thing.

The thing to remember is that you're not the only one and there's nothing wrong with you. You'll get more confident about it in time. Just don't be ashamed or afraid to stick up for yourself. That's the important thing.

[CottonFluff]

Originally Posted by greyrain

What's that old saying? Better out than in. Sort of applies here. I know I felt better once I told a few people. I still have...difficulties sometimes. But on the whole embracing this part of me has been a good thing.

The thing to remember is that you're not the only one and there's nothing wrong with you. You'll get more confident about it in time. Just don't be ashamed or afraid to stick up for yourself. That's the important thing.

Yeah, I'm finding that too. I have a couple friends (who are into their own things that some people might find questionable... bondage, etc) who have been extremely supportive. The friends who are supportive or don't care are becoming the people I'm more wanting to hang out with or talk to. So it's been a learning experience.

The biggest change I've found recently is being comfortable saying the words "spank, spanking" etc. For a number of years even saying the words was extremely awkward for me (not that it ever really came up in conversation much). But now its much more of a normal part of my vocabulary - its just another word. Another word that has a personal hidden meaning to me that relates to personal fetishes and such, but hey, a word's a word.

I guess the best thing I can relate it to is when some friends got me into cosplay a number of years ago. People give me weird looks and are like "you dress up as fictional characters and go to one of those nerd convention things?" It took a little bit, but I got very comfortable talking about it with people and explaining it in an intelligent and friendly manner. I guess the main thing will be figuring out how to get comfortable to do things like that in relation to spanking.

[tigerboy17]

Hey you seem cool to me so dont worry! I can relate to how you feel but we dont judge. We are all her basicaly the same thing. ^-^ so welcome!! Glad you have emerged lol

Yup, you were a Lurker just like meh x3 I used to be called heyheywhat. Lulz

---------- Post added at 05:09 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:08 PM ----------

Btw I'm Natalie