Azure Island

[Macha]

Azure Island is a story set in a fantasy world which - as its presence suggests - contains spanking. (I'd have to warn for its nature though, it's not unconsentual and it's F/F)

Now, as I just finished its third chapter - which concludes it - I suppose a thread is in order.

What did you think of it? Want to rip my head off, hated the ending? Found something delicious? That's what this thread would be about.


Where to find it? Why, here:

Chapter 1:
https://animeotk.com/forum/downloads.php?do=file&id=89
Chapter 2:
https://animeotk.com/forum/downloads.php?do=file&id=336
Chapter 3:
https://animeotk.com/forum/downloads.php?do=file&id=807


Might not be everyone's cup of tea, but I hope it will be liked by some, at least. Especially those of you who enjoyed the earlier parts :3

[NanaimoAnimeFan]

Great job Macha!! I just finished reading the whole thing, and I really, really liked it. You included so much! Fantasy, Magic, Romance, Comedy, a nice collection of genre's that's sure to please almost everyone who reads it. Thank's a bunch for sharing!!

[CM_Zero]

I finally had the opportunity to read through the latest chapter of the Azure storyline. Since it’s Sunday I could do it unhurriedly and was even able to read through the first two chapters again, so I can review the chapter trilogy as a whole now. Oh, and mayor spoilers ahead ^^

Let me start with the characters and general plot. I think you did a great job with both Gabrie and Lena. They make for a very adorable and fun duo of heroines. The classic pair of guardian and unruly royalty works well for the story and making them a female duo makes for an interesting twist in the classic formula. As I often say, I think it’s not 100% original and borders on a cliché scenario at times, but I realize it’s near impossible to invent the genre anew each time you write a new story. Nevertheless your characters had a few quirks and traits, that made their personalities different and overall made them a sweet and interesting cast. I especially liked the breach with their usual behavior in chapter three, but I will say more about that later on.

The story as a mix of romance and comedy in a fantasy setting obviously very much suit my personal taste. I would even include drama in the genre description, since I think you played out the difficulties of the heroines blossoming relationship very well.

Your detailed descriptions and small details and bits of in-world history mentioned throughout your chapters, made the world seem very alive and even managed to make the impression of depth. It makes one think there are still a lot of stories to be told about the fantasy world the Azure Island chapters take place in.

I don’t feel qualified enough to say much to your writing style. Let me just say, I as a not native speaker, could understand everything and it seemed to have the right feeling for this story, if you know what I mean. I’d even say I could see the well working “Macha-typical” storytelling in your style and choice of words.

I’d love to rate music and audio too, but sadly there is none ^_^

I will go into the individual chapters and spankings a bit now.

Chapter one was a good way to start the story, giving the reader a good impression on the characters and the status and troubles of their relationship. It also manages to introduce the setting quite vividly, making the reader (me at least) curious to hear more about this fascinating world, where islands fly high above an azure colored lake, young female paladins take on the role of custodians and mages have homoerotic books hidden in their library.
The spanking was short and crisp, not exactly the expectable strict guardian/unruly charge dynamic. It was rather a hesitant guardian/playful, teasing charge one, which made it different and thus much more interesting.

Chapter two continued where the first one left off and focused more on developing the relationship of the two protagonists, than on describing the world. Nevertheless, the meeting of the paladins and talking about their mission, gave the reader another huge chunk of background information. Yet the main plot here was about the two heroines growing closer together and how the thought of the upcoming separation serves as a catalyst for the princesses most daring approach, marking a new, huge step in their relationship. It becomes quite clear it can never be the same and the chapter ends quite openly in anxiety and confused feelings. The spanking described here is longer more detailed and certainly more sexy than the one in the first chapter, which I think is most appropriate for an important scene such as this, where the relationship truly makes a jump to another level. If for good or bad is not known as to this point, which certainly adds a good portion of drama to the story. Additionally a super surprise kiss makes for a great plot devise. I sure know why my Lillianna and Eloel resemble Lena and Gabrie quite a bit ^^

Chapter three now is supposed to be the grand final of the trilogy. I would roughly divide it into two section. First Lena and Gabrie come to terms with each other and second, they “celebrate” their newly forged partnership. I think it was kind of clever of the princess making herself “unnecessary” or “useless” in the eyes of nobility, to gain more freedom. The following spanking was long and very, very sexy, and also very Macha. I’m happy to see you included all your favorite things into it, from belt spankings to the legs up position. The various stations of the spanking were quite enjoyable.
The change in Lena’s character was quite noticeable. If it weren’t for the three month of separation and making up her mind, I would wonder where all her determination and resolve came from, all of a sudden. It was kind of cute to see Gabrie struggle with her charges newfound assertiveness. I think I had quite a broad grin on my face while reading that scene, cause it’s hilariously funny and incredible sexy at the same time. Also I think you always ended up having the guardian/swordswoman type ending up as the spanker in your stories, while you wanted to have the “strong” one as the spankee too. So I guess I can say congratulations on accomplishing your goal. And doing it in a great scene as this one is, demands even more praise. So, yeah, I think you did very well here and I’m praising your skills ^^

At the end I have to mention a few things that made me wonder though.

I was kind of expecting Gabie to show more concern about Lena’s self caused illness in the third chapter. I’d gather bespelling yourself with an illness is kind of risky and could have various dangerous side effects. Even if you have control over it and only do it for a certain purpose, it would certainly have me worried a lot, if my sweetheart did something reckless like that. Maybe she was just too overwhelmed by the situation, but Gabrie just felt a bit too accepting for me.

I also wondered about the albino woman in chapter two. What exactly was her role? Was she there to show the troubles of an unhappily married noble lady, a possible glimpse to Lena’s feared future? Was she just there to lure Gabrie out of the room so she could be send to the paladin meeting without Lena knowing yet? You gave a lot of side characters names even though they hardly played a role and yet you didn’t give this woman one (I think). Nevertheless you described her in great detail, from her being an albino, to the rumors about her being a vampire, to her troubles with having to run her husband errands. I kind of expected her to play a more mayor role later on, since she seemed to stand out quite noticeable from the rest of the supportive cast. My guess would be she was part of another plot element you dropped somewhere through writing the story. Cause if she was just another side character without much purpose, you could have cut the scene short and skipped most of the details there.

To conclude this review, let me say this: I loved this set of stories! Great and likeable characters, an interesting plot, sweet and sexy romance and a good deal of comedic relief and emotional drama made Azure Island quite enjoyable. It’s a pity you don’t seem to want to continue this one. I think there would still be much to tell. At the very least you might consider doing some kind of epilogue, where we get to know how Lena settled into her new life as an “exile”, with Gabrie most likely accompanying her.

Then again, maybe you will finish your rewrites of Nine Tails now, which I also very much look forward to.
Anyway, I think I can say: Great work on this trilogy, Macha. I really loved reading it and especially the last chapter had such a great atmosphere and a lengthy, playfully teasing yet romantic spanking scene, I don’t think I have seen many equally good stories. It was a pleasure reading it. Please continue writing spanking fiction once in a while.

CM

P.S.: 1404 word ^^

[Erebus]

Just finished Chapter 1. I left my comment on the chapter's page, but I suppose this thread is more appropriate to discussion, so here it is again :

Very sweet and sexy beginning. I do love punishment spankings that are in truth romantic (and pleasurable). The fact that both women are clueless as to the other's feelings makes it quite interesting. I especially liked the way you described Gabrie agonizing over having to spank Lena while fighting to keep in check her desire for the young princess. It was very expressive !

For me, the cutest part of the chapter was Lena thinking about the way she realized her inclination. "The books had helped a lot", ha !

And no, I wouldn't have considered reading a book about the “History of the Cultivation of the Tristaani Wheat”. From now on, I will keep in mind that atrociously boring titles can actually be meant to keep unwanted readers away and hide much more interesting things !

[Erebus]

Finished ! Now it's time for feedback and comments !

(As an aside note, I'm almost never negative when I comment drawings because I'm utterly unable to draw anything correctly. That doesn't apply to fiction : I like to think of myself as a pretty decent writer, even if it is only in my own language.)

First, let me say I really like F/F (not just in spankings), especially when it's romantic. And I like swordswomen too (my favorite anime series is Utena, after all). And also cute female mages. So the basic idea for your story *was* my cup of tea, no doubt about that.

The heart of the story is, of course, the relationship between Lena and Gabrie. I especially liked it in the first chapter because having both of them attracted to the other yet hiding their feelings and unaware that they're returned is just cute and touching. Gabrie being terribly embarrassed about baring Lena's bottom and Lena enjoying the spanking all the more because it's the closest to an intimate relation she believes she can have with Gabrie are both very sweet.

Obviously, the relationship couldn't stay that way forever. I enjoy double obliviousness but it would get annoying after a time. However, I feel you had their relationship evolve too quickly. Their state of uncertainty could have lasted a bit longer. The fact that Lena was *asking* Gabrie for a spanking despite having done nothing wrong (not to mention the orgasm she had while being "punished"...) could have been enough of a clue to make Gabrie wonder about the princess' feelings. The kiss couldn't leave much uncertainty in Gabrie's mind and, for that reason, it came much too soon to my liking.

The third chapter... well, the third chapter doesn't leave much room for the mutual doubt I found so endearing. Lena now has all the confidence she needs to expose her feelings to Gabrie and, what's more, she seems almost certain that these will be returned. I found the change of behavior in the princess to be rather startling and, frankly, a bit hard to believe. Up until then, she had shown boldness, but it remained realistic. Her sudden and incredible confidence is a bit off-putting. It almost feels like she's not the same character anymore (especially since Gabrie, on the other hand, hasn't really changed).

I feel the story would have been better if it had been 5 or 6 chapters long (not necessarily with a spanking in each of them ; too much of a good thing is a bad thing). Of course, I understand that maybe you just didn't want to write something that long. But I feel that your characters needed more space for their feelings and view of the other to perfectly evolve.

Speaking of feelings, I don't think you should have even tried (in chapter 3, I believe) to tell the readers why each character loved the other. Such things are better when they remain simply suggested.

I enjoyed the fact that you detailed several relevant aspects of the heroic fantasy world in which the story takes place. It added to the realism of the story and gave depth to both of the main characters. It wasn't revolutionary heroic fantasy but the story was primarily about Lena and Gabrie, so having a very unusual setting would mostly have been a distraction. It was inventive enough, which is good.

I really appreciated the fact that Lena *did* consider the consequences to others if she were to run away. That's not something you often see in rebellious princesses ! The solution she found was smart, although I thought it worked a bit too easily (of course, as I said earlier, I would have liked the story to be longer).

The spankings scenes are extremely good : sexy, sweet and romantic all at the same time. I really loved reading them.


Nothing to add, except that I hope you'll decide to write another story soon !

[Macha]

Thank you for the feedback, you three. Also thanks for actually somewhat *liking* the story. So I guess I CAN get something other than "they should find a man!!1" comments. Phew. @Erebus. You're entirely correct - in general, I had first planned to have it longer(see also CM_Zero, who noticed a dangling plotline in chapter 2 that was not picked up in chapter 3), and this would indeed have been better. I mostly made a jump because of reader feedback. Granted, I don't neccessarily agree that the Princess changed too much - it is a lot of boldness to actually trick someone into spanking you thinking you don't like it, while you really do get off on it(as you noticed, you're one of the few who actually writes it out, haha). She just changed the focus of her boldness, less on quick satisfaction and more on something productive, like changing her life for the better. She got a couple months to get to that - although, of course, it'd have helped to write these out. Still, yes, it was too fast an ending. This is completely correct - as it indeed makes the story worse than it could have been. Can only apologize for that, since it's simply true. ^^; At least the SP part is sexy enough X3 Edit: https://animeotk.com/gallery/showphot...o=2156&cat=fav of course has tp be linked too. Yay for Cross.

[Erebus]

I hadn't realized at first that the "Tower" story was a follow-up to Azure Islands. But I'm glad it is, since I really liked your two heroines.

English is not my mother tongue so I can't really appraise your style. I had no trouble picturing what was happening and found the reading quite enjoyable (especially the very last part, of course !).

I didn't figure out the twist before it was revealed. It's a fun scenario and it fits Lena and Gabrie pretty well (by which I mean, I can totally picture Lena having this idea and pushing Gabrie until she agrees).

(After having read four stories involving them, I've only just realized the two heroines' names look a lot like Xena and Gabrielle. I must be slow.)

I felt much more empathy for Gabrie than Lena in this story, not only because Gabrie's point of view was used most of the time, but because I seldom feel empathy for characters who are so completely in control. That's purely personal and does not mean I didn't enjoy their interaction, on the contrary.

I found Gabrie's embarrassment when Lena makes her undress, then wear sexy underwears, to be very well depicted and highly sexy (one point about which I guess I share Lena's opinion after all). It makes for an excellent pre-spanking scene (something that I find very important for the enjoyment of the spanking itself).

The spanking is quite naughty and very nice. To be honest, I think it may have been better if Lena had put Gabrie over her knee right from the start. She could still have progressively "increased the heat" (thus making Gabrie move her hips more and more...). The pause between the two parts is slightly too long and breaks the atmosphere a bit in my opinion. Some elements (such as the use of water) are found in both parts, giving a feel of repetition.

I didn't dislike the first part. Who wouldn't love a spanking that begins with a sweet, sexy massage ? But the second is really hot ! Some light bondage and a very... interesting position make it nicely naughty. The description of Gabrie's reactions to her spanking is very evocative ! The enjoyable mix of embarrassment, excitation, pain and pleasure that's been growing inside her finally reaches its... well, you know. It's truly an excellent scene.


All in all, I think you did a very good job, Macha, and I hope you'll keep writing in the future.

[CM_Zero]

Well you already know what I think about this story. Suffice to say, that I love how the final version turned out.

Yay for Gabrie and Lena.