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The Rear Gaze Hotel - CYOA Game
Old August 23rd, 2018, 09:48 PM   #1
RefreshingLemonade
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Default The Rear Gaze Hotel - CYOA Game

==============================

UPDATE: Full Release 1/13/2019

==============================
Download the game from one of the links below.

Deviantart Sta.sh: The Rear Gaze Hotel
MediaFire: The Rear Gaze Hotel


Howdy,


I'm happy to announce the full release of The Rear Gaze Hotel. For those who do want to read the whole update history, it is a choose your own adventure style text game that features scenes of features spanking, wedgies, humiliation, clothing loss, diapering and wetting, and occasional sexual content.

The overall game features around 37,000 words and leads the player through several narrative puzzles, which result in different scenes based on your performance. There are a total of 16 erotic scenes to find, as well as an an ending that differs based on how well you have done on the puzzles. Download the game and play from either of the above links (it's a .html file that should play on most browsers) and enjoy, or keep reading for a spotlight on some of the changes made since the beta.

I don't believe I will be adding anything more to the game, but I am very happy with what I've put together. I would like to shift to new creative endeavors, and I think the game is capable of standing on its own. I am incredibly thankful to everyone who has provided support during the game's creation, and I hope that you enjoy what I've made!

Love,
RefreshingLemonade


Significant changes since Beta V2:

1) Linearized the game's structure
Having branching paths for the story ended up being a feature that I felt didn't add very much to the game. I've changed the structure of the story so that all players will go through all puzzles and then reach the ending scene. This makes the game take a bit longer to play, so I've included...

2)A rudimentary save feature
There is now the ability to create a save game at the beginning of each puzzle, so you won't have to replay the opening bits over and over (if you don't want to ). I'm not 100% sure how stable the saves are, as I think they are just stored as browser cookies, so buyer beware.

3)New scenes
I've added 3 new scenes where you can take a more active role in punishments after a successfully completing your assigned tasks (a much requested addition). The game now concludes with ending scene that grows progressively worse based on how many assignments you fail to complete during the game.


==============================

UPDATE: Beta V2 9/7/2018
==============================


Hey,


Greetings to returning players and newcomers alike. If you're new, I highly recommend you see the original post (below) for more details. The game has been updated in the following ways:

1) Typo fixes and bugs within the code
Thanks so much to everyone who pointed these out to me. I can go over the game a million times and still miss things, so please feel free to point out any mistakes I may have made. I really do appreciate it.

2) Included a (pretty bare bones) title card
Besides letting you know what game you're playing, you are given the option to skip the intro sequence and just start at the first game. People mentioned that the game was a bit slow at the beginning, but I didn't really want to cut the background and exposition. Hopefully, this alleviates some of the slowness on repeated play-throughs and lets people who really aren't interested in reading it the first time just jump in.

3) Rewrote sections suffering from gender ambiguity
There were a few (around 8-10) locations that I found in the text that had noticeable, belief-breaking issues where characters referred to the player using "they" or "their." I think I did a pretty good job of editing these sections to not draw attention to the fact that the player is gender-less. If you were bugged by this previously, it should be a noticeable improvement. Please let me know if I missed anything or if it's still a big detractor that the player doesn't get to select gender. While it would be nice to pick gender, clothes, ethnicity, etc, I think I can supply a story that lets you fill in the blanks with your mind.

4)Added a 13th (lucky, I know) scene
As promised, I added in a scene focusing on diapers and wetting that was still a WIP when I released the first version of the game. (Hint: You can find it in a place that didn't have a major scene the first time around, and it's quite missable). In the future, I'll probably release several scenes in batches, but there will be more time between releases.

5)You folks at AnimeOTK don't have to view these posts on DeviantArt
Now all the information and download links can be directly accessed on this page as well as on DA. If you're interested in seeing peoples' comments on DA, you can check out the game's page through this link:
https://www.deviantart.com/refreshin...Game-760610362

The game should really be played more than once to get the full experience, so run through it again if you haven't seen everything yet. As always, let me know what you think, if you see errors, your favorite scenes, or really anything else. Consider dropping a donation on my DeviantArt page if you want to support the game's continued development and get art commissioned for it.


Thank for playing,
RefreshingLemonade


==============================
Original Post
==============================

Hey there,

I'd like to share with you a Twine game that I've been working on for about 2 months called The Rear Gaze Hotel. To be clear, the game is not complete, but what I've written so far is certainly playable (and hopefully polished). I really want to get your opinion on if it is enjoyable and worth continuing.

This is an "adult" choose your own adventure story that lets you decide how to advance. Without spoiling too much, there are several narrative mini-games (sort of a mix of logic and trial & error puzzles) which you have to navigate. Depending on how well you play, you or someone around you will be treated to some flavor of punishment. The game currently features spanking (prominently), wedgies, humiliation, clothing loss, and occasional sexual content. If I more forward, I am considering adding additional humiliations like diapering, enemas, wetting and other similar ideas.

The game has branching paths, so if you liked your first run through, please play a second (and third and fourth and fifth) time to see what else you can do before reaching the end. There are 12 distinct scenes (each over 1000 words) for you to enjoy so please don't miss them by accident. The game is designed with repeated play-throughs in mind, and you simply cannot see everything in one go.

The word-count currently rests at 30,000(ish) and could probably use at least another 30,000 before I deem it to be done. I really put a lot effort into writing this (which is why I haven't posted anything in a while), so, if you really liked it, consider dropping a donation on my DeviantArt page. It'll both show that you're interested in me continuing this project, and help me commission some artwork to add to my gallery or into the story itself.

I really hope you enjoy the game, and I'd love to hear comments and critiques (or if you found any pesky bugs or typos). Feel free to check out similar stories in my gallery and watch me for new ones, as well as updates for the game.

Many happy returns,
RefreshingLemonade

Last edited by RefreshingLemonade; January 13th, 2019 at 10:13 PM. Reason: Formatting change
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Old August 24th, 2018, 02:12 AM   #2
Kyelse
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zilazol View Post
Howdy,


I'd like to share a Twine game that I've been writing for the last 2 months. It's a text-based choose your own adventure which features spanking as well as other forms of humiliation. I've attached the location of game below, which will provide more details. Sorry to make you jump through links, but why pollute the internet with the same information twice?


I hope you enjoy.


https://www.deviantart.com/refreshin...Game-760610362
It’s been a long time since the last new game in this site. : D It is good to have a new game here. Thank you a lot for the content.
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Old August 24th, 2018, 03:58 AM   #3
aka
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So I just finished my first playthrough.

It. Is. Incredible. Easily my favorite game on here. Yes, I think I like it even more than Peach Springs (though only barely).

The writing is concise, clear and sexy. You do an excellent job of giving us enough detail about the PC to keep the spanking scenes interesting, but leave it vague enough to give us control over their "customization" without actually having to program any in.

Furthermore, the puzzles are great. I ended up getting spanked twice, despite trying not to, which was great. I love it when either it isn't obvious that a choice will lead to spanking, or the game helps me develop enough in-character justification for it.

One criticism is that you might want to consider shortening the beginning a bit. It drags some. For example, I don't think you need to give quite so much background on why we're in the Appalachian Trail. Just mentioning that we're hiking on the Appalachian Trail and getting lost would probably be sufficient.

That being said, one advantage of the intro was that it did provide some nice build up. So, I think it could stand to be cut a little bit, but not too much.[

Also, I found a few typos:

When you first enter the hotel: "He grins earnestly with *and* expression of simple kindles." *and* should presumably be *an*.

In the dirty room, the dialogue: "I'm essentially your boss, so you've got to do what I say. You are reminded of the manager's words." The second sentence is awkward, and I don't think you intend that to be spoken by the maid. So I think you're missing a few quotes. However, I would suggest removing the second sentence completely. It's redundant.

Greenhouse: "You're going to goin and put" presumably you're trying to say "You're going to go and put." Though I'd suggest just using "You're going to put." It's a bit more concise (though either feels equally natural to me).

Finally, I have mixed feelings about all the adjectives, like "honest smile" or "simple kindness." On the one hand, I think it might help contribute to the rather surreal atmosphere you're going for, on the other it feels kinda redundant, and makes the story less concise than it could be.

Anyway, keep up the good work! I would *love* to see more games with this style (CYOA where you're following a narratively coherent tree of choices, rather than wandering an open world trying to find disconnected scenes).
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Old August 24th, 2018, 12:24 PM   #4
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Wow aka, thank you for the kind words. I'm not trying to turn game making into a competition, but it means a lot to hear you say it's your favorite.


I was worried to that the player punishment scenes would be too vague, but it seemed like a better use of time to write more scenes instead of juggling variables for clothing and names. Good to know it wasn't unpleasantly general.


It's funny you mention the beginning dragging on. In my first draft, I had almost no exposition and felt like I was throwing players into the game with very little explanation. Maybe I over compensated. I'll consider cutting some of the extraneous information from the first couple of passages.


Thanks for calling out typos. I knew that there would still be a handful of them even after editing. It's really useful to have extra eyes on the page. As for the adjectives, I see your point. I don't know if I'll be able to cut down all that much on the flowery language. It's just sort of my style. Still, now that you've brought it up, it will at least be in my mind to not overuse them.


Thank you for your comments. I'm really glad you liked the game in its current state, and it's useful to hear what worked and what didn't. I hope you enjoy repeated plays of the game.
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Old August 24th, 2018, 11:21 PM   #5
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Had a chance to play through the other paths (well, not quite all of them, but most of them). Just as enjoyable as my previous play throughs, though I did find a few more bugs:

Bug: Search under the bed and search in the suitcase options are swapped in the reader's room.

When fixing the clock, if you fail three times in a row, you apparently still successfully fix it? Note that when I failed twice, I got punished like you'd expect.

When going to look for the boys after the maid event, you jump
immediately to talking to the librarian, without any intro, as
if you did the librarian event instead of the maid event.

Also, the opening paragraph for the boys event is awkward:
"...much-needed discipline to their rear ends." "Perfect! ..."
It almost looks like you intended that paragraph to be dynamic or something,
but it's displaying both possibilities instead of only one. Or you're missing
a paragraph where you say you can keep up or something.

Typo: Lifeguard, "Foot the first time since he began,"
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Old August 25th, 2018, 12:48 PM   #6
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This was a fun little game.

My only suggestion would be to add a gender choice for the main character. As it stands now, I feel like PC is a pretty vague and undefined so they seem a bit disconnected from the other characters.
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Old August 25th, 2018, 03:00 PM   #7
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It's always exciting when new games are released. Thankfully, I loved this game!

The scenario is great and the writing equally so. I hope you keep working and finish the story.

In a perfect world, there would be gender options for the spanker/spankee characters, but the non-descript main character works really well for immersing myself into the story.

Thank you for sharing!
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Old August 25th, 2018, 08:19 PM   #8
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aka:
You’re doing the Lord’s work here. Pointing out bugs is super helpful to me. It’s pretty easy to notice if the game totally breaks when I test it, but much harder to find little typos and weird logic errors. Thanks a ton.

SariaSong:
I was really trying to emphasize that the PC is YOU, rather than some character to RP as. It’s a choose your own adventure style story, and I was hoping that would make players a bit more invested. That being said, I understand your point. There are some vague things that are needed in order to account for the fact that the game doesn’t know who you are. I’ll keep your comment in mind.

VikingSpanko:
Glad you liked it. It was definitely an intensive process to write, polish, and think up puzzles (as well as learn Twine). I would like to finish the game, but it’s going to need a lot more effort. I just want to make sure that people are actually into it before I throw myself into more development. Good to hear the not specific nature let’s you get more into the game, rather than less. Thanks.
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Old August 25th, 2018, 08:39 PM   #9
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@zilazol The gender selection actually reminds me of one thing I wanted to mention. It's a little bit awkward to have people refer to the PC as "they." It jerked me out of the dream a bit whenever I saw it. You might want to revisit some of that dialogue to see if you could rework it so people don't use they, or bite the bullet and add some gender selection.
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Old August 26th, 2018, 04:27 AM   #10
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I keep clicking on the download and it gives me a 404 not found page.

Nevermind, it worked after about 10 minutes of trying.
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