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Wannabe Elders are often killed by their superiors as often as they are killed by the next wannabe-Elder in line. You would think they would take a hint. After all, "The wise man learns from the deaths of others."
Suggested edits and corrections (keep getting distracted by awesome art and cute vampire girls)
Top in-box: "After the spanking, I think I hypnotized myself. I will keep enjoying this role of being a child and being taught. But... someone with no sense of sentiment will always spoil this moment..." A few spelling and punctuation corrections, and a slight edit for space-saving as well as more fitting the speech pattern of an ancient vampire, I think. You can keep "mess up" instead of "spoil" though.
She says: "Ivan?! Why did you come here!? Did I not say I needed a break?" Spelling corrections.
Ivan says: "Your Majesty, the Elder, Soloman, needs to speak with you. Also, I think we can serve you much better, if you let your mortal desires be known." Spelling fixes and rearranged the order of some words to make it sound more like a prim-and-proper Ventrue and not some random Anarch. This could also be written as, "Your Majesty, the Elder, Soloman, needs to talk to you. Also... I think if you let us know your mortal desires, we could serve you better." Which is closer to what you have printed now, and means the same thing.
