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Home » Active Resident Artists » CM_Zero » - Dark Passion


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Okay, I admit. I’m still not the grand master of witty dialogue. But maybe you can bear with my attempts and enjoy the story nevertheless. Cloé likes cherries. Of ALL kinds ^^


Shadow Artist

Registered: March 2007
Location: Germany
Posts: 1,451
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Date: Tue March 18, 2008
Views: 9,347
Tags: 32
Filesize: 248.2kb
Dimensions: 700 x 1000
Keywords: ff otk hand brush cons fantasy vampire nude

~loves lilies and roses~
Clever idea why she "blushes". :P Surely a scared vampire - and it's not even a brush made of a wooden cross.
Well, she's also not really scared, so it works.
#1 Tue March 18, 2008 20:43

Oh, she so deserves this. And it is witty dialogue. Better than what I can come up with. You deserve a *Standing Ovation* You'll probably get another at the end.
#3 Tue March 18, 2008 22:55

Dr. Weird
Hmm, did you mean "plump cherry pie" in that second exchange? Not that I'm trying to nitpick, you understand, but you did *ask* people to point out errors they found... The dialog wouldn't work in balloons--referring here to the wordiness--but in this format, I think you can get away with it. Honestly, it's almost impossible to write "lovers play" dialogue without it sounding a little silly. But that's OK, they're meant to be having fun, after all... ^^
#4 Wed March 19, 2008 02:33

~Sweet British Cyanide~
I took like the idea behind the spanked redness being raised from her girlfriends blood.
In this relationship, I think it'd be clear if she ever cheated on Cloé. Not that she ever would, I'm sure.

She draps over the lap perfectly and naturally.
#5 Wed March 19, 2008 02:35

Shadow Artist
Thank you! I'm glad you like the idea behind this. Oh, and I did indeed mean "plump". Fixed it now. Thanks for pointing it out Dr. Weird.
#6 Wed March 19, 2008 09:17

Wow Zero, I LOVELOVE LOVE the first panel. She looks so great and that plump bottom! YOWZA! x3 I think it looks wonderful. I think the dialogue is cute, and the inferrence about her blood in her bottom is a nice touch.
#7 Thu March 20, 2008 17:21

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