Don't You Worry, Child (VulcanSpock)

[W1nchester]

Dean expected an answer like that, so when his dad got up and headed towards the kitchen, he followed after a few moments later. Sammy went ahead to follow too--and when Jude heard the commotion, he came running in wearing only pajama pants.

Jude got an ice pack and he handed it to his dad when he slowly came to, pushing himself up to sit. Dean gave his own dad a look he learnt from him.

"What did you do?" He repeated, voice hard as well. There were a million stupid situations in his head, and he wanted to know which one his dad went for.

[KingCrowley]

John looked up at Dean, refusing the ice pack from Jude because he wanted to show his boys there was nothing wrong, he was trying to protect them from the truth, like any good Father would. "I'm sick." he told Dean when he asked him what he did. He'd gotten incredibly ill from all the stress, he hadn't eaten or done anything other than drink alcohol and he couldn't sleep either. "Doctor said I might ...have the cancer thing." he told him and then got to his feet.

"It aint a big deal." he told all three of his boys and then headed upstairs, holding the side of his head.

[W1nchester]

Dean frowned a little when his dad told them that he was sick, forcing himself to stand up. Then... he added... that... part... And Dean felt sick to his stomach. He wasn't sure he heard him right. But then his dad dismissively said it wasn't a big deal, and Dean had to grab the counter to keep from seriously freaking out.

"What... What does that mean..?" Jude asked, sure he knew what cancer was, but he really didn't understand. Sammy gave his kid brother a sad look, before glowering at Dean, beginning to walk over to him again. "This is all your fault." Sam said ominously, and Dean looked up with a pained expression. "I know..."

"You know?" Sam barked a laugh. "God dammit, Dean. Dad's fucking dying and you stressed him out with your Houdini act! Do you really, really realize the gravity of this?!"

"I do!" Dean roared, turning on his little brother and giving him a shove. "You're not making anything better for him! So stop fucking guilt tripping me! He told you to stop!"

Sam clenched his fists and raised it up ans Dean fixed a look on his little brother. "Last time was a mercy thing. You punch me and I'll break your fucking fists." Dean snarled, and Jude whimpered. "Stoooop!" He cried, tears in his eyes. "Stop! C'mon! Sammy, I know you're mad! But you have to stop!"

Sammy looked to the kid and paused, slowly dropping his fist. And Dean stepped back a little. "I need to go talk to him." Dean said flatly, heading upstairs ans going into his dad's room. "Dad..." He started, slowly looking him over.

"Dad... I'm sorry..." He started lamely, before rubbing his face. "How about... tomorrow... we go for 'a drive'." He suggested, frowning and looking kind of scared of that, but he kept pressing. "You're stressed... And I deserve it because I stressed you out. You could go to town, I wouldn't move or block or anything." He said miserably, inviting a borderline abusive whooping from his dad.

[KingCrowley]

John didn't want to tell his boys, because it was nothing set in stone, it was just something the Doctor put out there and he would be getting test results within a month to see if he needed to visit a radiographer. If he did have cancer, then likely surgery could remove it...that was, if it hadn't spread...which he didn't know if it had or not. The man laid down on the bed, holding his head as he heard his boys arguing downstairs, that didn't do much to help his stress levels.

He rolled over and looked at Dean when he came into the room and said he was sorry. "Nothin' to be sorry fer...and I don't wanna talk about it, Dean." he told him and then rose a brow when the boy suggested going out for 'a drive'. "I'm not gonna whip ya Dean." he told him flatly, shaking his head.

"I just got'cha back, an you think I want to see you in pain right now?" he asked and pulled him close, holding him in his arms.

[W1nchester]

Dean frowned at his distant father as he said that there was nothing to be sorry for, and that he didn't want to talk about it. Then his dad rejected the idea of him whipping Dean, and he proceeded to pull him close and speak again.

"But this is my fault." He said a bit bitterly. "All of it. I sh... shoulda stayed, shoulda called..." He looked down to his hands in grief, trying really hard not to cry from guilt. "Are you ever gonna whoop me for this?" He asked him, looking up with an unreadable expression.

[KingCrowley]

John cradled his Dean close and rubbed his back, "It aint yer fault son, I been through enough to be able to not let things like this get ta me..." he paused, "But I let it this time...and this is the consequence for it." he looked into his boy's eyes when he asked if he was ever going to whoop him for it. "Oh yeah." he answered in the affirmative. "Yer gettin' the whoopin' of yer life when I'm ready to go through with it."

He laid back on the bed and held Dean to his chest. "But I just got'cha back...I just got my baby back...I can't do it right now..." he told him.

[W1nchester]

Dean sniffled a bit and let his dad rub his back and generally let him soothe him. "But it still is my fault, dad..." He sighed, leaning his head into the crook of John's shoulder and neck. He actually smiled a bit when his dad promised to give him a real good whooping when he was ready. Living without consequences sucked for Dean, and he often got himself beat up so he would feel better about himself...

He let his dad lay down on his back, and he rest on top of him. "Okay, dad." He said, nuzzling him. "When you're ready... I needa tell ya something that I know is gonna make you real mad, though..." He said, squirming a bit.

[KingCrowley]

John looked at Dean when he told him that he needed to tell him something that he knew was going to make him mad. He didn't really want to hear it, but he'd always let his kids know that they could come to him and tell him anything so he just nodded his head, "Y'can tell me right now Dean, maybe it'll motivate me to tan the hell outta you." he told him in that dark, stern tone that got all three of his boys in stone cold fear more often than not.

"Start explainin'." he ordered.

[W1nchester]

Dean looked up in surprise when his dad used that tone he had only been hearing in his nightmares for the passed nine months. He squirmed a bit and the ultimately sighed, nodding his head.

"I did... some stupid stuff on some hunts..." He said quietly. "...I found that I'm good. Like... real good. It got too easy at some points... So I decided to get hurt a lot on hunts... Broke my ankle, been stabbed a few times. Got tortured for a few days... Captured by a djiiin... Really, really, stupid stuff." He said, not looking up at him. "And... this... this last hunt was gonna be easy... Two shifters... I knew they both were there... But I was feelin' real bad. Real... stupid, I guess... I ganked one and I saw the other one comin' and I coulda stopped it... but... I didn't... I kept thinkin' about... how I disappointed you... and Sammy... and Jude... And... And I didn't... think it could be fixed... So... So... I was jus' gonna... y'known.. end it..." He explained, real slow and real sad.

[KingCrowley]

John's eyes widened when Dean told him he was getting hurt purposely, the man not at all okay with that and the look on his face proved that to be evident. By the time Dean was done explaining, John had managed to take his belt off. "Okay." he told him in a deep breath. "First of all," he whapped the belt down on Dean's leg. "The hell were ya thinking?! Idiot!" he snapped and then hugged him tight, "You ever DARE do something like this again, I'll string you up myself!" he snapped.

Then he pulled back and pushed Dean down over the bed. "Yer gettin' the whoopin of your life." he left Dean there for the minute, going into the bathroom to wet a cloth and then he came back. He lowered Dean's jeans and boxers and then moved the cloth all over his butt and all down the backs of his legs to his ankles because a spanking hurt worse on a wet bottom.