DS9: Doctor's Orders (with justmedk)

[gutterpupper]

Change was hard to adapt to. There was no medicine or technique he had to be able to force himself to adapt; no magic hypospray to relieve the effects of feeling out of place. Miles had returned to earth to teach at the Academy. Yeah they had a couple of transmissions with each other to see how the other was doing, and even if Ezri tried to encourage him to openly talk to Miles about how he missed him, he was too conscious about dragging the other man down. But he promised himself he wouldn’t let it affect him.

“Julian, you should take some leave to go see him. Go visit and Academy and see how things ago going?” the young Trill woman suggested as they walked along the promenade.

“Nah, it’s too soon. Anyways, I still have a lot of work here to do. I’ve got that theory in neurobiology I’ve been working on. I have gathered some new data from a sample provided from one of Kadri patients who passed through last week.” His work was all that kept him busy, driving his days forward to get use to changes around the station. The Colonel had come down to seem him a few times as well as Quark coming in to find someone new to pester. It was just a gradual process after the last seven years.

So when he was unexpectedly called by Nerys to visit her in the Ops urgently, he instantly thought it may have been a medical emergency but the seriousness of her tone.

“No Doctor, not an emergency. I just need you up here right away. It’s important.”

His mind whirled with possibilities or what she had wanted as he rode the turbo-lift to his designation before talking a quick pace to the operation office where Nerys stood waiting for him. She looked at him with surprise on her eyes, only leaving Julian with more questions of what he was called for. But the answer presented itself quickly and it wasn’t one he had counted on.

“Julian. This is Steven Hansen, son of Belinda Hensen,” a young human woman informed Bashir. “He is also your son.”

“My… son?” he questioned suddenly. The name Belinda brought back fond memories of when he was younger, much younger, probably about 15 years ago as far as he could remember when he was still stationed on Earth. A romance he shared with a fellow student whom he had fallen deeply in love with but their romance was never to last. But he had no knowledge of her ever giving birth. He wanted to ask what happened to Belinda, but with the surprise that had just arrived for him at the station, he assumed the worst and chose not to ask at this time.

“I know it must be a lot to take in Julian,” the Bajoran commander spoke, offering comforting words where she could.

“yeah, yeah, I… uh…” the doctor responded as he stuttered for words. What was he to say? What was he to do?

[justmedk]

Steven had not slept at all that night. He had been told a few days before departing that they would be leaving for Deep Space Nine, and had nodded and expressed understanding. But on the inside, it had been a long time since he had truly cared about anything. He was alone. He had been alone ever since he had gotten the news about the Serana, even though his Vulcan foster parents would have dismissed that as "emotional hyperbole" and point out that the only time he had been alone was when he was sleeping.
He had developed a dislike for anything and anyone Vulcan, during his long time there. It wasn't a racial hatred as such. He didn't hate Vulcans simply because they were Vulcans, nor did he think Vulcans inferior to humans. Steven was NOT a racist. But his emotional neglect at the hands of his Vulcan foster parents, and the Vulcans he had come into contact with, had made him prejudiced and given him a very short fuse when it came to Vulcans' dismissal of "human emotions".

The trip to Deep Space Nine had taken about a week, aboard the USS Cochrane, a science ship crewed by, you guessed it dear reader, mostly Vulcans. Steven had spent the majority of the trip in his quarters. He went to the Holodeck a few times, but found mostly Vulcan programs there - exercises in logic, Vulcan historical reenactments, for research purposes, and things of that kind.
And he had decided that he'd rather stay in his quarters and read.

Now they were entering the Bajoran system, and when he told the monitor in his computer to show him the station ahead of them, he gulped a bit when the Cardassian monstrosity approached closer and closer.

This is my new home....with someone I've never met, he thought grimly as he made sure that he had packed ALL of his belongings again. Not that he'd unpacked much during the trip here, but still - he did NOT want to risk forgetting anything on the ship.

When they docked, he followed the social worker that had gone along with him, and stared wide-eyed at the sight that met him. Klingons, Romulans, Bajorans, Vulcans, Humans, and species that he had only read of but never seen, were walking up and down the promenade going about their businesses. Steven had grown up on a starship, so he was used to encountering many different people of many different species. But they had all been Starfleet personnel and their families, and life had been ordered and organized.
This was absolute chaos. And Steven didn't know what to do with it, or himself. Luckily, the social worker picked up on his new "information overload" and kindly urged him towards the turbolift that took them to "OPS"

When they arrived at what was obviously the command center of the station, Steven looked around, noticing the alien architecture of the place. He had, once or twice, been on the bridge of a starship when he had been younger, as a "field trip" with the school his mother had been serving on. But this looked nothing like that had. His common sense told him that he had no reason to expect it to - this was a Cardassian-made station, after all. But it was still weird.

When they got into the office and met the station's Commanding Officer, a relatively young Bajoran woman, Steven politely shook her hand, but otherwise just stood there silently as the social worker explained the situation. To say that the Bajoran commander looked surprised would be an understatement, and Steven almost managed a chuckle when he saw the look in her eyes.

If you're surprised, imagine how I feel, he thought to himself as he heard her use the station's communications system to call "Doctor Bashir".
At that, Steven felt his stomach turning. It was a weird, indescribable feeling, like nervousness and fear, and exitement all at once. He didn't know what to do with himself, and he knew even less when he saw the man enter the office looking slightly perplexed.

The sight that met Julian Bashir as he entered the office, was a boy slightly shorter than a human boy his age usually was, with a bit of a "babyface". Of course not literally, but Steven easily looked a couple of years younger than the 15 that he was.

Steven's confidence did not grow when he saw Julian Bashir's reaction.
Of course, the logical side of his mind told him, he could not expect the man to not be beside himself with surprise. But, as has been established, it was not primarily logic that ruled Steven's mind right now. And he interpreted what was likely merely surprise and shock, as disapproval and disappointment.

Steven felt his heart sink, and he tried as best as he could to make himself invisible by staying in the background behind the adults.

[gutterpupper]

"We can offer as much support as we can at this transitional time," the woman said as she turned back to look at Steven who seemed visibly disappointed. "It is a difficult situation. For both you and him.” She looked at thier surroundings; the little office was not the most suitable place to discuss such a delicate situation. “Is there a better place we can discuss this?”

Nerys suggested they move into one of the stations conference rooms. Bashir unconsciously agreed, still letting his head process the situation. He may be a doctor and studied many different mental disorders and processes on how the brain deals with different situations but it didn’t mean he was an expert at putting them to action.

‘If the boy is here, that means Belinda is dead.’ He instantly thought about what the boy must have been through. With little information, his imagination had a horde of ideas but only one stuck out, that he had to find out, but those answers would surely come in the next few hours. This was not the worst of his experiences but depending how long ago Belinda had died, this was probably the boy’s worst nightmare.

They spoke for a good thirty minutes in the conference room, the woman feeling in some of the details of what Belinda had done and what had happened. As he listened, Bashir’s eyes would flick over to Steven, taking note of the boy’s body language and such to try and get an idea how he was feeling. Once again the doctor found his thoughts going back to events in his past. He wondered if Belinda had tried to contact him and tell him about their ‘son’. His mind would rack through his life, trying to find maybe a point in his timeline where he failed. Fifteen years is a long time for both of them to go without knowing each other.

“This data file will give you everything else you need to know.” The woman pushed the data pad toward Bashir and watched as the male picked up the device and take a flick through. She stood up and stepped away from the table. “I’m going to leave you two of you for a bit.” She didn’t say any more. He understood what his next steps were. And as she and Nerys left the conference room, it was just him and Steven.

“So,” he started, fidgeting with his hands. “This must be very tough for you. I’m sorry that you have to go through all this. I’ll do everything I can to help you.”

It was probably not the best words to say to the son you only found out you had today, but equally there was much worse. But some reassurance and empathy go a long way.

[justmedk]

Steven sat through all of the proceedings almost as if he was a large doll that was being taken from place to place.....or like a character on a holodeck that doesn't know it's a character on a holodeck.
It was a feeling both of incomprehensible ennui, and of disbelief at the same time. The feeling was indescribable.

"It...it's okay", he said after a pause when his father had broken the awkward silence. "I...you know....I'll try to stay out of your hair as much as I can", he assured him. "I'll just...you know....do....whatever", he said before being unable to hold back a quip:

"At least I'm not on Vulcan anymore....", he said in a tone of voice that reeked of drudgery, of dislike....even, to a degree, disgust.

"And...I mean...I don't know", he said. "I'm guessing that....you know...there's plenty to do around here. I....I'll try to...you know...yeah...be useful and....and not get in the way I guess", he finished.
On Vulcan, he had had the impression from he arrived to the point where he finally left, that he had been seen as a burden to be born reluctantly at best, and a nuisance to be tolerated for the moment, at worst.
This had become so ingrained in him that he had trouble leaving the thoughts behind even now.

He hadn't said one word about Vulcan until just now, but anyone with some ability to read body language would likely pick up that there was some issues there, when Steven noticed a Vulcan crewman simply going about his business passing a window to the room they were in, and frowned in dislike before he remembered to get his facial expression under control.

"So...yeah..." was all that he said next, not knowing what else to say.

[gutterpupper]

He didn’t have to be the trained physician he was to pick up n Steven’s difficulties. From the brief notes he had seen on the datapad, his knowledge of Vulcan’s and the result that sat before him, he could easily tell that living on the planet among a different race had taken a toll on his mental wellbeing.

“I’m sure we can find you something here on the station. There are other kids here and I’m sure there is a group we can introduce you to.” He watched the youngster frown at the passing Vulcan, sensing the bitterness. “Whatever happened while you were on Vulcan is the past now.”

He knew it wasn’t that easy. It would take the young lad time to adjust to life on the station, seeing many different races pass in and out of its ports every day. But given some time, good caring and social interaction, Bashir had every hope the boy would fit in. He was Belinda’s son.

[justmedk]

(btw, sorry if you feel I'm hijacking the good doctor a bit :S If you want, please feel free to let me know and I'll edit)

Steven didn't think of himself as a bad person, as such. And "racist" was something he would thoroughly object to being called. He didn't think that Vulcans were "inferior", as the racists of old did, nor did he actually hate them when push came to shove.

But living on Vulcan at a time when he needed emotional stability and support more than anything else, had made him more bitter and cynical than any 15-year old had any right to be.
Not that he was aware of this on an intellectual level, though. Although he HAD inherited his father's enhanced intelligence, he was still in many ways just a child, especially emotionally speaking.

"I know", he said in response to Bashir's pointing out that bygones were bygones.

____________________________________

Steven couldn't help but feel completely exhausted. The trip from Earth to DS9 had been long and tiring. He had been lucky, in a sense, to be allowed travel on the Cochrane. If he had been made to go by civilian transports, which were limited to warp 7, it would have taken a month or more.
But now he was exhausted. The long journey, and the emotional stress had gotten to him, and he had, somewhat embarassed about it though he had been, felt forced to ask if there was some place he could get some sleep.

Apparently it had suited his "dad" - which was a word Steven was trying to get used to using - quite well. There were apparently business he had to attend to, and so the last thing Steven though of before he drifted off to sleep was

I wish I had a time-machine.

[gutterpupper]

Bashir has left the boy in his own quarters to sleep. With no prior warning he had no option but to let the lad sleep in his own quarters. He had instantly put a request in the statement management and Nerys to move to a larger quarters and was promised they would sort it for him as a priority. He also requested that this information was kept quiet; it would be better for him to tell people and he didn’t need people staring with questioning eyes at lad.

He duties kept him in sickbay where he had been looking after a patient who had recently arrived on the station with minor plasma burns. He decided it would be best if he kept himself focused on his work and he could handle the rest once Steven had some rest. The datapad sat idly on his desk, waiting for him to come over and read more between little breaks he had.

Time flew quickly and he had managed to avoid discussing the situation with any of the visitors who came to have a noisy. He also managed to avoid Ezri for a while as he tried to think of a way to tell her. Again, he still preferred to have a proper talk with Steven first before inviting anyone else into the boy’s world.

Leaving one of the ensigns incharge, he made his way back to his quarters. He had been away long enough that hopefully the young man would be awake and rested so perhaps some bonding could start.

[justmedk]

Steven slept, but it wasn't sweet. The mental stress of the past few months had started to overwhelm his subconscious, and he had been suffering from horrific nightmares. Most of them revolving around Vulcan, his mother, and any number of insane and nonsensical combination of the two.

The worst was the one he found himself in "now": He was on Vulcan in his room in the house of his foster family.

"The human is what they would call "A pain in the neck", his foster-father said. Though Steven was in his room and they were in the living room, he could hear them just as clearly as if he was standing next to them. Because this was a dream, where the rules are made up, and reality doesn't matter.

"I know", his wife said, "But we must see the consequences of our action of volonteering through to the end", she went on. "It is the only logical way"

"You are right, my wife", came the reply.

Suddenly, Steven saw his mother standing next to him, alive and well, and she looked at him. "I'm so sorry I'm not.....", she began as she looked at him, not getting more words in before she started dissolving in front of him, an expression of indescribable horror on her face...and the scream was worse than it all.
Steven turned around in a panic to see his "foster brother" standing there with a grin on his face.

"Death is just logical", he said. "ANd you're a stupid human".

That was not an entirely accurate dscription of any conversation that Steven had ever had with any Vulcan - no one had ever called him stupid - but the first part of the sentence had been the long and short of what several Vulcans had told him after he had learned about the destruction of his mother's ship. Or, at least, what he had taken with him from those conversations.

"Guess you didn't feel enough about her to stop it", his foster-brother said, before disappearing......

And then Steven woke with a horrified scream, before plopping back down into the bed, and curling up in the fetal position...desperately hoping that his "dad" hadn't returned yet.

[gutterpupper]

As he got close to his quarters he heard the desperate scream of a youngster. Bashir instantly thought it was Steven. Quickly he made his way into the quarters and straight to his bedroom where the young lad lay.

“Steven!” he said, concern on his tone. “Are you alright?”

His instant reaction was to pull out his medical tricorder but he abstained from doing so; there was no signed of danger and the boy’s reactions were like one of panic, perhaps from a nightmare but nothing unusual. He sat on the edge of the bad, not touching the young lad as to not startle him during such a hysteric moment.

“It’s fine, you’re awake. You’re safe now.” Comforting words that his mother had once given him when he had nightmares. It was the only viable explanation for what had happened. But in order to deal with the under-lying issue he had to ask about the dreams. “Do you want to tell me what happened Steven?” he asked.

[justmedk]

Steven wasn't about to tell something as deeply and intensely personal as the contents of the dream he'd just had, to someone he had literally just met. Even if that someonew as one half of his parentage.

He merely shook his head.

"I...I'm okay", he said. "Sorry", he finished in a little voice as he faced the wall curled up in the fetal position.

It wasn't that he didn't like Julian Bashir. It was that he hadn't known the man long enough to know whether he liked or disliked him. And certainly not long enough to trust him with something as intense as this, biological father or not.

"Just...just a stupid dream", he said, this time more to himself than to anyone else, though he DID say it audibly.

He sighed and sat up.

"I'll.....you know...just read a bit, or whatever", he said. "I doubt I'll get much sleep now, you know?", he asked rhetorically. He reached for his reading PADD and tapped a few buttons allowing the device to retrieve his bookmark.

"Eddard Ex" [ = Eddard X spoken aloud], he mused to himself. "Sounds like the name of a king. Well, all these chapters do, I suppose", he said, not realizing that subconsciously he was saying stuff just to keep talking, to avoid awkward silence.