Penance { for Lizardwhisperer

[Nene]

Sam gave Dean a desperate look when Dean shouted at the strangers to "buzz off", and he nodded in approval when Dean shouted again, this time, sounding nicer. The person at the door rose a brow and went away, back to the counter where he jotted down customer orders. Sam tugged up Cas' boxers and jeans, and passed him to Dean.

Cas hiccupped and sniffled, "c-can I... can I still play pinball...?" he asked Dean pitifully, and when both Sam and Dean told him no, he teared up again. He hung his head and he nodded, "Okay... I understand, Dean." he would be a good boy now.

Sam hung his head as they went out of the bathroom, trying to ignore the stares from the diner patrons, and he hurried out the door with his brother and angel. He felt awful - surely they knew what had happened and poor Cas had to be embarrassed. "I-Ice cream, yeah, I think... think there's an ice cream parlor around here... across town, way across town," he said, wanting to be as far away from this diner as possible.

[Lizardwhisperer]

Turns out ice cream was the perfect way to end their adventure, as Dean had opted for the place's drive-through window and they didn't have to worry about keeping track of their angel. Dean even turned a blind eye to vanilla-chocolate swirl all over Baby's back seat. Well, not really--he kept looking in the rearview and craning his neck to see their boy on his belly, contentedly lapping away at his dripping cone, in one sticky hand, while continuing to rub his backside with the other. The brothers enjoyed cones, too and soon the Impala grew quiet. Dean was glad to see that even Cas' sore bottom couldn't keep him awake, as he crashed off the sugar, sucking a gooey thumb and snoring softly.
"Did ya hear him back there, grumbling, earlier? He said "Sammy's hand is like Gabe's paddle."
Dean laughed as Sam squirmed a bit, then decided to help him out. "Aw, Sam, the kid'll be fine. Can you imagine the whopping Dad would've given either of us for pulling a stunt like that? Gabriel wouldnt've told us to spank his butt if he thought it would hurt him--I mean, I'm sure that bright red behind of his hurts plenty, but--you know. He's like a kid, but not really a kid--it's not like we'll damage his delicate psyche or something...and yet--I don't know. As hard as we're working to spank it out of him, there's an angel in there, somewhere. I miss that angel, Sam."

[Nene]

Sam nodded and bit back his bottom lip, and he looked down at his hand, and rubbed his reddened palm. His hands were large and firm - his hand larger than Cas' baby bottom - he didn't doubt it felt like a paddle. "... uh," Sam didn't want to imagine the whooping their dad would've given to them in this situation. He'd done something like this once, and never, EVER again. "Yeah uh... I know. I miss him too, but... maybe... do you think he could be... I don't know... happier, this way?" he peered over the back of the seat at the sleeping baby angel in the back seat.

"I mean, he doesn't have to worry about angels... or Heaven... or Hell, or... or anything. He just... has to worry about being... little, and... uh, well, spankings..." Sam slowed down, thinking to himself if he could even be right about that. If given the chance, Sam didn't know if he wanted to be a small boy again.

Cas cried in his sleep sometimes, and that worried Sam... but he knew it to be over his loss of grace, and his loss of independence. He hoped Cas wasn't having bad dreams. Cas didn't ever sleep as an angel and therefore hadn't experienced dreams, and if had bad dreams, that would make bedtime difficult.

[Lizardwhisperer]

Cas was still asleep, when they arrived back at the bunker, so Dean carried him inside, enveloped in his now sticky trench coat.
Dean was grateful for his brother's help, as Sam wiped the ice cream off Cas' hands and face, with a warm cloth, while the angel snoozed on Dean's shoulder. Sam patted Cas' back, when he fussed, then Dean tucked him into his own bed. The boy's rosy cheeks stretching for a wide yawn made the hunter think of their friend's other pair of rosy cheeks. He rubbed the rounded mound of Cas' little bottom and spoke quietly, "You know, Sam, I think you're right--at least part of Cas is happier this way. Hell, part of me's happier with him this way. I mean--when he's like this and not running out in traffic or climbing out windows. Look at him--damn cute, ain't he?"

[Nene]

Sam went with Dean and looked over the coat that Cas was curled up in. It was sticky and covered in chocolate and ice cream. Sam dampened a cloth and wiped Cas' face and tiny hands, and Cas fussed, this small gentle touch rousing him from sweet dreams. Cas calmed and went back to sleep as Dean rubbed his back.

Sam went to Cas' room and pulled back the covers, readying the bed for optimal tucking in. Cas yawned and curled up happily beneath his blankets, and sighed softly when Dean rubbed his bottom through the blanket. He was happy as he was, being well taken care of and not scared nor lost.

"Yeah..." Sam smiled and stroked Cas' hair, and he looked back to Dean. "he is cute... I'm... I guess I'm happy with him this way, too. We... we know where he is, and know he's not dead somewhere. I know we... still have to worry about anyone that could want to hurt him but..." Sam seated himself by Cas' bed for the moment. "I'm not worried about anything right now. All I can think about is putting that coat through the wash. That chocolate syrup stains that kind of fabric. He's not out there making bad decisions or being manipulated or hurt, so I feel... like he... and us... we're safer." he said softly and rose, and he turned out the light. He went out of Cas' room as to not disturb their baby.

Closing the door, Sam looked back to Dean, the coat in his hands, and he moved in the direction of the laundry facilities. "I haven't found any spells to make this coat any smaller... but maybe... it's good enough as it is. He still seems to like it."

[Lizardwhisperer]

Dean shuffled back to the kitchen and grabbed a couple of beers, taking a seat at the small, stainless steel table. Taking a long pull, he sighed and said, "Ya know, Gabriel, we're doing the best we can, here--I'm just afraid its not good enough for Cas. I--"

"You gotta stop drinking alone, Deano, it leads to talking to yourself."
Dean jumped a bit, coughed, then slid the unopened beer across the table. There, now I'm not drinking alone."

"Where's Thing 2?" Gabe opened the beer, to be polite.

"Sam's washing Cas' trench coat--kid likes to sleep in it, but he's a messy sleeper. What'ya doing here? In case it's because he's done something we don't know about, Cas' little butt can't take another pounding today. Sam busted him good for running out in traffic."

"Gabriel drank the beer, making a face, "Oh, I know--proud of the moose, I am--wasn't sure he had it in him. And you called me, dummy--pray has this pesky high=pitch frequency, hard to ignore."

"I didn't know I was praying, just sort of...wondering."

Just then, Sam walked in and Gabe offered him his sampled beer, "Sammy boy, speak of the devil. Fee-fi-fo-fum, heard you spanked some angel bum."

"Lay off him, Gabe. He wasn't too happy to. It's not a job I'm exactly enjoying, either."

Gabriel shrugged, "I'll be happy to take over, if you insist. Say the word, he'll come with me."

"NO!" Both brothers spoke up, then Dean continued, "We don't want to get rid of him, asshat, we just want to know we're doing right by him. I mean, all this spanking hasn't exactly changed his behavior, has it?"

Gabe laughed sardonically and shook his head, "You humans, you all want instant gratification. It took Cassie millennia to get the way he is and you think warming up his bottom for a few days will make him better and you can all go on with your Team Free Willie or whatever."

[Nene]

Sam took care to apply stain removal to the chocolate and ice cream spots on the coat before he tossed it in the wash. He looked around the laundry facilities and sighed softly - they didn't pick up the bunker that often and it looked similar to a slobby bachelor pad. He rose a brow as he found liquor, "Dean," he shook his head, "thought I told him to stop ironing my shirts with this..." he tossed the mostly empty bottle and made his way out to the kitchen where he caught a part of Gabriel and Dean's conversation.

Sam really didn't want to see Gabriel right now, but knowing Gabriel would find him anyway, he sucked it up and went in. "hey, uh, everything okay?" he asked and breathed slowly. He hoped Cas was still in bed like a good boy and this conversation wasn't a product of Dean having just dealt with their baby's naughty butt.

[Lizardwhisperer]

Gabe turned to Sam, "I'd like to say, 'Yeah, everything's great. I made the right decision, leaving my little brother in your care and even though my plan's designed to take time, you Yahoos are being patient and trusting ol' Gabe. But I can't say that, can I, Dean?"

Dean sighed, "Look, I'm sorry, ok? I didn't mean you don't know what's best for your brother, I just--I don't know. Sam?"
Dean looked desperately to his brother for help--Sam understood how hard it was to deal with Cas' constant misbehavior.

Just then, Cas woke up crying, down the hall and Dean took the opportunity to get off the hot seat and go see what the little guy needed--leaving Sam alone with Gabriel.

"Cas, buddy, it's ok." Dean wrapped his arms around his crying little friend. "Another bad dream?"

[Nene]

Sam understood that this would take time, but he also understood his brother's want for instant gratification. He nodded to Dean, and then looked to the archangel. "Gabriel, it's... that this is new to us. We've never had to do this, and we don't know what to expect, or if we're even doing it the right way, if it's too much, or not enough. I..." he looked down and scratched the back of his scalp, "I trust you know what's best for your brother. So we don't have to keep calling you back, ... what do we do?"

Cas woke up from a disturbing nightmare, and he looked down, feeling that his clothes and his sheets were wet. He began to cry loudly, partly from the nightmare, and partly from confusion and embarrassment as he realized he'd wet the bed like a human toddler.

Sam looked up when heard Cas crying, and he moved to leave with Dean, but he was stopped by Gabriel.

When Dean came in and curled his arms around him, Cas nodded and cried, "it... it was r-really b-bad... bad dream... a-and... and I..." he tugged the blanket up, mostly to hide himself. He wished he had his grace so he could will this situation away. Cas couldn't stop crying and he became visibly angry.

[Lizardwhisperer]

"I appreciate the thought, Sammy, but while your bro's torn up over raising Cassie right, I think you've got something deeper going on."

The archangel took a moment to let the taller hunter stew in what he said.

"I'm not saying you don't feel genuinely tore up over paddling Cas' little bottom, I'm saying you feel guilty over your own huge mistakes."

Sam started to argue, so Gabriel turned on his archangel eyes, face, and posture, making his vessel seem much larger--and way more intimidating. He began to list off the hunter's transgressions, "Sneaking around, drinking demon blood, letting out my brother, Luci, lying to everyone you love. You left your brother in purgatory for a...vet? Oh, yeah, I forgot--you started the Apocalypse!"
Gabe felt kinda bad, putting that all out there, but Sam's shameful reaction just proved how eaten up the kid still was over it all.

"Look, Sammy, I know you hate spanking my little brother, but that big ol' ball of guilt on your enormous shoulders is Apocalypse-shaped. Deep down you know you need to be punished for the same reason Cas needs it. You gotta make some amends--and learn a thing or two, Sam Winchester."

...........
Down the hall, Dean carried his distraught--and wet (ew, not again) friend to the bathroom, where he stripped off his wet things and popped him in another warm, bubbly bath. "You know, Cas, I think you've bathed more, since you've been small, than me or Sam have in months--save for when we're covered in blood."
Dean gave Cas a suds hat, "So, buddy, ya gonna tell me about that scary dream? It might help."