[Scarlet Hills School for Girls - Rain ver.]

[f3231aszxzcw]

Originally Posted by Taiga

I really liked this so far. The paths and the status point system has a lot of potential. Loved all the little easter eggs as well. Can't wait for more!

Thank you, I was worry about making too many paths and the submissive path too obscure unless you open to check it with RPG MV engine, so I have modified a bit for the next version.

The status point system like behavior is measured in percentage which will determine the chance of naughty behavior committed by students during class. And the same applies to study and charm
as well.

[lasglipas]

Good start with the game. I really liked the idea.



Only feedback I have is that I think you're overdoing it a bit with the music and you're describing too many things that are way more effective when shown.

E.g., I think it's totally ok to describe how your bottom hurts after a spanking but if students are shocked it's better to let them comment on it, showing that they are shocked.

[f3231aszxzcw]

Originally Posted by lasglipas

Good start with the game. I really liked the idea.



Only feedback I have is that I think you're overdoing it a bit with the music and you're describing too many things that are way more effective when shown.

E.g., I think it's totally ok to describe how your bottom hurts after a spanking but if students are shocked it's better to let them comment on it, showing that they are shocked.

Well, I have cut some dialogue that maybe redundant.

Indeed, music is a bit exaggerated.

However I am not sure I understand the part "too many things that are way more
effective", I mean "too many" is negative sense while " way more effective" is positive sense which seems contradictory to me.

I agree it's a good idea to show more how they are shocked during Principal's speech and the first class. However not in the form of comment by talking out loud but depicted in their minds which requires spoiler mode to be on to let player see what Npcs are thinking.

I did add some Npcs' comments during the first day speech but failed to spend time thinking on how they should react during the first class.

[AnarianElf1085]

Originally Posted by f3231aszxzcw

However I am not sure I understand the part "too many things that are way more
effective", I mean "too many" is negative sense while " way more effective" is positive sense which seems contradictory to me.

I agree it's a good idea to show more how they are shocked during Principal's speech and the first class. However not in the form of comment by talking out loud but depicted in their minds which requires spoiler mode to be on to let player see what Npcs are thinking.

It's a writer thing. You show, don't tell. So for instance, in my world I have a spice known as Aki spice. This is how I would tell:



"Aki Spice is sweet in breads, salty on meats, and sour in soups."



This is more of a 'show' example:

Looking at the options quickly, I grabbed some palbu juice and aki bread, and quickly headed to a seat to enjoy the sweet flavors while I could. While I scarfed down my breakfast, I overheard another student (who must have been fairly new to the Academy) exclaim, “Why would you put aki spice in bread!? It’s too sour for that!”
One of the female students, Emily, judging by the voice, quickly corrected him. “Aki spice is only sour in liquids. It’s actually pleasantly sweet in breads.”
“Really?” asked the first voice.
“Yes,” Emily confirmed. “It also adds a nice salty flavoring to meats, which makes it one of the more interesting spices they use to cook here. You should try the bread.”



Not only do you get a bit more description because of the interaction, but you get more of a natural feel to the writing, and it doesn't feel like an info dump. Hope that helps.

[f3231aszxzcw]

Originally Posted by AnarianElf1085

It's a writer thing. You show, don't tell. So for instance, in my world I have a spice known as Aki spice. This is how I would tell:



"Aki Spice is sweet in breads, salty on meats, and sour in soups."



This is more of a 'show' example:

Looking at the options quickly, I grabbed some palbu juice and aki bread, and quickly headed to a seat to enjoy the sweet flavors while I could. While I scarfed down my breakfast, I overheard another student (who must have been fairly new to the Academy) exclaim, “Why would you put aki spice in bread!? It’s too sour for that!”
One of the female students, Emily, judging by the voice, quickly corrected him. “Aki spice is only sour in liquids. It’s actually pleasantly sweet in breads.”
“Really?” asked the first voice.
“Yes,” Emily confirmed. “It also adds a nice salty flavoring to meats, which makes it one of the more interesting spices they use to cook here. You should try the bread.”



Not only do you get a bit more description because of the interaction, but you get more of a natural feel to the writing, and it doesn't feel like an info dump. Hope that helps.

Thanks, now I understand "show" and "tell".
I thought narration is not a bad thing because I once played an adult game full of many narrative text typically, "Something Unlimited" in Patreon.

[f3231aszxzcw]

Recently, I have met a dead end for the story development as a newbie.

The main problem is actually about the ultimate philosophy of spanking itself which
encompasses the questions: "What is spanking? its purpose? and why must a spanking?"

While answering these questions specifically in my game, as someone who never experiences spanking and doesn't want to experience at all due to shyness and other concerns, I take spanking as a form to demonstrate the "power" because you have the power/authority in control to dictate others which does not necessarily apply to consensual/erotic categories.

Regarding to its purpose, usually I attribute it to either as "For educational intention to prevent you from misdeeds" or simply "I am a spanko and I just want to, so I must create excuses for you to get spanked", no matter what, both of them can actually have the element of humiliation and Dom/Sub which corresponds to human social nature where subordination is required for the hierarchy to work everything in order.

Having said that much, I would like to raise a couple of questions for you to answer:

So in my game:

1. If a student always behaves and stays kind to the extent that you find no reason
to spank or otherwise feeling guilty doing so, do you think it will be cruel if you set
her up a crime?

2. Do you really think it will be normal/natural for someone to become very
submissive into spanking such that they will always deliberately acting naughty to
find themselves a chance to get spanked?

3. Say, ultimately. The punishment system has achieved its original or superficial
"educational intention" to correct student's behavior and promote the study,
do you think this should be the end of the game or maybe it's just a start for the
next "level"?

I actually have got some solutions for myself, but I wanna hear you.


From here, you may ignore my "rant":

Lastly, I want to emphasize that a game is a game, no matter how twisted it is, it can still express it's own value from different perspectives, either sarcastically or actually educational in another sense. This should actually be the common sense which shall not be needlessly stressed again, yet nowadays I've seen too many cases that people have become too emotional such that they are taken advantage of by different organizations to achieve their own agenda.

Still, I trust the users in this community are acting on good faith and have the capability to tell a virtual game from reality.

Thank you very much.

[Unsung]

Originally Posted by f3231aszxzcw

The main problem is actually about the ultimate philosophy of spanking itself which
encompasses the questions: "What is spanking? its purpose? and why must a spanking?"

...

1. If a student always behaves and stays kind to the extent that you find no reason
to spank or otherwise feeling guilty doing so, do you think it will be cruel if you set
her up a crime? (Please be advised that my definition of spanking here does not
include role-playing or erotic stuff, it simply addresses for the unique experience to
reflect the cruel nature of all social animals(e.g. wolf pack) to "enjoy" the power.
Power tends to corrupt.

2. Do you really think it will be normal/natural for someone to become very
submissive into spanking such that they will always deliberately acting naughty to
find themselves a chance to get spanked?

3. Say, ultimately. The punishment system has achieved its original or superficial
"educational intention" to correct student's behavior and promote the study,
do you think this should be the end of the game or maybe it's just a start for the
next "level"?

1. Setting someone up to be harmed needlessly is cruel. It does make for a great decision for the character though.

2. Yeah, people do that all the time and repeat actions/behaviors that lead to pleasure.

3. Depends on the characters involved at implementing the system. Some may have individual motivations for social control, others it might be purely to improve academics. It is a great stake-setting conflict.

Just an observation, it might easier to move away from defining a philosophy of spanking and just having characters who embody some answers to the question. What spanking is dictionary defined. The why of giving/receiving has multiple answers. For some it's pleasure from it, dominance/submission, release of guilt, ideology, need for authority, falling back on past experience, sexuality, etc. or some combination of things. Trying to find some ultimate answer is more of analytical/academic exercise than a story-telling one.

Ultimately, your world, lore, characters (including their histories), and circumstances serve to answer it in their own way. Hopefully, they force opposites into each other and create conflict and stakes that propel things forward.

Anyway, I'm not really a writer or anything like that, so take it with a grain of salt.

[f3231aszxzcw]

Originally Posted by Unsung

1. Setting someone up to be harmed needlessly is cruel. It does make for a great decision for the character though.

2. Yeah, people do that all the time and repeat actions/behaviors that lead to pleasure.

3. Depends on the characters involved at implementing the system. Some may have individual motivations for social control, others it might be purely to improve academics. It is a great stake-setting conflict.

Just an observation, it might easier to move away from defining a philosophy of spanking and just having characters who embody some answers to the question. What spanking is dictionary defined. The why of giving/receiving has multiple answers. For some it's pleasure from it, dominance/submission, release of guilt, ideology, need for authority, falling back on past experience, sexuality, etc. or some combination of things. Trying to find some ultimate answer is more of analytical/academic exercise than a story-telling one.

Ultimately, your world, lore, characters (including their histories), and circumstances serve to answer it in their own way. Hopefully, they force opposites into each other and create conflict and stakes that propel things forward.

Anyway, I'm not really a writer or anything like that, so take it with a grain of salt.

Thanks for the insight, I would've have continued the discussion but now I need to worry about disclosing too much too early.

[darklink43]

I don't know if this is me, but some text keep being invisible or being skipped.

[ktosja]

I really liked the game so far butit is quite quiet here for months. Is the game abandoned?